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nurseangela
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12 Jan 2017, 7:31 pm

white_as_snow wrote:
Its not harsh to say the truth. The truth is that females have way to high standards and have it more eazy in the dating game then guys does.

People say things about guys all the time in a negative way, but nobody cares about that.

Females that have mental problems look down at males that have mental problems. No way you can force me to respect females when they dont respect guys like me.


This is bashing.


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nurseangela
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12 Jan 2017, 7:32 pm

Boxman108 wrote:
Nothing wrong with avoiding toxic femininity.


This is bashing.


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Darn, I flunked.


blackicmenace
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12 Jan 2017, 7:32 pm

Hexen wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Another woman bashing thread. Great. Makes you all so much more attractive.

Wait, how is this women bashing when he blames himself? That's not women bashing, that's self-loathing.


Yeah, but unfortunately some guys will use it as such.


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Boxman108
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12 Jan 2017, 7:33 pm

nurseangela wrote:
Another woman bashing thread. Great. Makes you all so much more attractive.


When every thread is a man bashing one you start to not care anymore.


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Hexen
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12 Jan 2017, 7:40 pm

Regardless, the OP didn't make those comments. Also, it makes me sad to see a young man struggling. It reminds me of my dark days in High School. A lot of females forget that men are seen as the physically stronger sex and told to "man up". We have no abuse support groups, we have no shelters. We must simply rely on ourselves and hope we can grow to become stronger.



nurseangela
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12 Jan 2017, 7:45 pm

It's usually the feminists that bash men. I don't bash men - I'm not a feminist. However, I do expect men to be equal to me in job status and other things. This has labeled me a "gold digger" by some of the men here which I do not appreciate. I'm tired of men saying that women have it easier with dating when I have never been able to find a Hunny that measures up to what I want. No, it's not having too high of standards - it's trying to find someone who is an equal to me. It really does seem that men are taking the easy way out these days. Most couldn't afford to support a family anymore without the woman working. The Cleaver days are gone. I think that women get the crappy part of a relationship - especially marriage - because they are now expected to work AND be Mother of the Year which is totally impossible. That is why in another thread it was brought up that women are happier not being married and men are happier married - because they have everything done for them is the reason. Why would I want to settle for someone who is not my equal that I have to work more in order to support? But men these days want women who have careers. Well, I have a decent career, so where are the men who are making the same as me? Not finding any. So no, I don't have a dating life any easier than men, IMO.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


nurseangela
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12 Jan 2017, 7:48 pm

Hexen wrote:
Regardless, the OP didn't make those comments. Also, it makes me sad to see a young man struggling. It reminds me of my dark days in High School. A lot of females forget that men are seen as the physically stronger sex and told to "man up". We have no abuse support groups, we have no shelters. We must simply rely on ourselves and hope we can grow to become stronger.


Why don't you start an Aspie support group? Actually, you can talk with Dox47 and he can probably tell you how to start one. I'm a realist. Talking about stuff will only get you so far, then one needs to take some action. There will continue to be no support groups as long as men just sit around talking about it but don't do anything to correct it.


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


nurseangela
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12 Jan 2017, 7:55 pm

Hexen wrote:
Regardless, the OP didn't make those comments. Also, it makes me sad to see a young man struggling. It reminds me of my dark days in High School. A lot of females forget that men are seen as the physically stronger sex and told to "man up". We have no abuse support groups, we have no shelters. We must simply rely on ourselves and hope we can grow to become stronger.


http://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Support-Group

I did a google search and found this. Dox started his Aspie support group through "Meetup" I believe. From posts of his that I read, he had a pretty substantial turnout. He'd be an excellent source for how to do it. Aspie men sure could use some support. Maybe the group could also have some NT men too who could give some pointers.


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


Hexen
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12 Jan 2017, 7:58 pm

nurseangela wrote:
It's usually the feminists that bash men. I don't bash men - I'm not a feminist. However, I do expect men to be equal to me in job status and other things. This has labeled me a "gold digger" by some of the men here which I do not appreciate. I'm tired of men saying that women have it easier with dating when I have never been able to find a Hunny that measures up to what I want. No, it's not having too high of standards - it's trying to find someone who is an equal to me. It really does seem that men are taking the easy way out these days. Most couldn't afford to support a family anymore without the woman working. The Cleaver days are gone. I think that women get the crappy part of a relationship - especially marriage - because they are now expected to work AND be Mother of the Year which is totally impossible. That is why in another thread it was brought up that women are happier not being married and men are happier married - because they have everything done for them is the reason. Why would I want to settle for someone who is not my equal that I have to work more in order to support? But men these days want women who have careers. Well, I have a decent career, so where are the men who are making the same as me? Not finding any. So no, I don't have a dating life any easier than men, IMO.

It depends on your perspective, now hear me out and just think about this. You as a woman still do in a sense. Meaning, you do have it easier, if you lower your standards. I am not saying your standards are not reasonable. What I mean is, if a woman has low standards she won't have a hard time dating at all. If a man has low standers, he can still have a lot of issues finding women. A lot of people have higher standards for their partner, yet they still live at home, don't drive, ect. What my plan is, is to become completely dependent. I want a house and a car, all in my name; mine. I do not care at all what a woman's financial status is and I would LOVE for her to just stay at home, relax, cook, clean, have romantic time with me, hangout with her family and friends; live with me and me support her. I figure I'd either find a woman at my job that makes the same as me and works the same shift, or I'll find a woman that makes way less and she can choose to let me support her if she wants.



nurseangela
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12 Jan 2017, 8:39 pm

Hexen wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
It's usually the feminists that bash men. I don't bash men - I'm not a feminist. However, I do expect men to be equal to me in job status and other things. This has labeled me a "gold digger" by some of the men here which I do not appreciate. I'm tired of men saying that women have it easier with dating when I have never been able to find a Hunny that measures up to what I want. No, it's not having too high of standards - it's trying to find someone who is an equal to me. It really does seem that men are taking the easy way out these days. Most couldn't afford to support a family anymore without the woman working. The Cleaver days are gone. I think that women get the crappy part of a relationship - especially marriage - because they are now expected to work AND be Mother of the Year which is totally impossible. That is why in another thread it was brought up that women are happier not being married and men are happier married - because they have everything done for them is the reason. Why would I want to settle for someone who is not my equal that I have to work more in order to support? But men these days want women who have careers. Well, I have a decent career, so where are the men who are making the same as me? Not finding any. So no, I don't have a dating life any easier than men, IMO.

It depends on your perspective, now hear me out and just think about this. You as a woman still do in a sense. Meaning, you do have it easier, if you lower your standards. I am not saying your standards are not reasonable. What I mean is, if a woman has low standards she won't have a hard time dating at all. If a man has low standers, he can still have a lot of issues finding women. A lot of people have higher standards for their partner, yet they still live at home, don't drive, ect. What my plan is, is to become completely dependent. I want a house and a car, all in my name; mine. I do not care at all what a woman's financial status is and I would LOVE for her to just stay at home, relax, cook, clean, have romantic time with me, hangout with her family and friends; live with me and me support her. I figure I'd either find a woman at my job that makes the same as me and works the same shift, or I'll find a woman that makes way less and she can choose to let me support her if she wants.


I'm having a hard time taking you seriously after reading your other posts from another thread, but, a man's main goal is to get a great paying job - which sounds exactly what you are planning. If you have a great job, you can be butt-ugly, short, fat (doesn't matter) and you will have women flocking to you. I, on the other hand, in order to get that kind of guy, have to be stunningly beautiful, smart, great personality, young and God knows what else because I have to compete against all of the other women out there. My alternative? Make my own dough and live a happy single life until I can find a Hunny who is similar to me and that I don't have to support and take care of financially. (Hey! That rhymed!) If we are equal, we will have our own careers, our own hobbies and enough money to be able to travel and have fun together doing new hobbies without either having to overwork themselves. That's my dream. :mrgreen:


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


Zed90230
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12 Jan 2017, 9:22 pm

I used to be bitter, until I realized we've been trying to play by the mainstream's rules. It hasn't worked for us. It's like trying to play football with a baseball rule book.

Dating was not built around the needs of us aspies. Especially if we're male and introverted.

Much of our difficulty stems from the fact that women will rarely initiate contact with men, despite what women may say to the contrary. Add to that the inability of many of us to understand flirting, and suddenly you can understand why we seem to have been dealt a no-win hand.

Speaking as an aspie who's asexual to boot, our luck will not change in the romance department until we realize where we've been going wrong, and then start writing our own rules of dating. It has worked for asexuals, some of whom are now leading happily married lives because they made their own rules of dating.



nurseangela
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12 Jan 2017, 9:30 pm

Zed90230 wrote:
I used to be bitter, until I realized we've been trying to play by the mainstream's rules. It hasn't worked for us. It's like trying to play football with a baseball rule book.

Dating was not built around the needs of us aspies. Especially if we're male and introverted.

Much of our difficulty stems from the fact that women will rarely initiate contact with men, despite what women may say to the contrary. Add to that the inability of many of us to understand flirting, and suddenly you can understand why we seem to have been dealt a no-win hand.

Speaking as an aspie who's asexual to boot, our luck will not change in the romance department until we realize where we've been going wrong, and then start writing our own rules of dating. It has worked for asexuals, some of whom are now leading happily married lives because they made their own rules of dating.


So can you tell us what some of these rules are?


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Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


Outrider
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12 Jan 2017, 9:31 pm

I think the frustration men sometimes feel is understandable, though I do not encourage or condone anger and bitterness and can perfectly understand why people can't tolerate it.

This doesn't mean some lonely men should be as bitter and sexist as they are, but I've seen plenty of guys that complain about being lonely out of sadness rather than anger, and still get barraged by men and women just like the one in that OTHER thread that you were in nurseangela by that condescending, aggressive, sexist, pathetic little troll.

It's just a little annoying to, say, be willing to date 90% of women in your age group while 90% of women your age group want absolutely nothing to do with you.

I am beginning to understand plenty of both men and women have much higher standards than I do for a partner, in fact I'd be willing to bet both aspie men and women have lower standards than the average N.T. man OR woman, a big reason probably being because we tend to be so socially isolated and rejected by society that we become more tolerant of people that N.T.'s would quickly overlook, such as others with mental disorders, those clearly disabled, etc.

I do try to accept 95% of guys and girls, even the ones MY age, probably have higher standards than me even though young people tend to care less about job, income, etc. because both men and women at my age are of low independence and tend to still be studying while working min. wage PT jobs and such.

But I still do grow a little frustrated and impatient sometimes.

This isn't towards anyone in particular.

I'm not frustrated at women, (or guys, bisexual here), but frustrated that I can't succeed socially.

No one is fault for rejecting me, and I don't have low self-esteem/don't beat myself up.

I don't think anyone should blame the opposite sex or themselves, they should simply be frustrated at events rather than people.

Be frustrated that you can't get a date, not because there's anything wrong with you, not because women are shallow bishes (they're not), but because you simply cannot get a date, even though there's nothing wrong with you or them.

Hell, blame FATE/CHANCE/LUCK if you have to, just don't blame any individuals or groups of people.

I don't necessarily believe fully in fate/destiny, but I think people know what I still mean.

Like if you ask out 10 women and they all say they have a boyfriend, don't blame yourself, don't blame her, don't blame her boyfriend or assume he's 'probably' an a55h0le, blame the fact that, on this particular day, the day you finally felt confident enough to ask out 10 different women in 10 different places, they all coincidentally happened to have a boyfriend, or fate/luck would have it none of them were interested in you so they used boyfriend as an excuse.

If you accidentally think a woman's interested in you when she's not, blame the fact that fate/luck would have it you misinterpreted her signals, she possibly gave the wrong signals, or both, but it's not your fault or hers, it's FATE'S fault.



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12 Jan 2017, 10:10 pm

nurseangela wrote:
white_as_snow wrote:
Its not harsh to say the truth. The truth is that females have way to high standards and have it more eazy in the dating game then guys does.

People say things about guys all the time in a negative way, but nobody cares about that.

Females that have mental problems look down at males that have mental problems. No way you can force me to respect females when they dont respect guys like me.


This is bashing.


Fair enough.
nurseangela wrote:
Boxman108 wrote:
Nothing wrong with avoiding toxic femininity.


This is bashing.


You ever heard the term toxic masculinity? Would you consider it gender bashing to say that those people should also be avoided?

nurseangela wrote:
It's usually the feminists that bash men. I don't bash men - I'm not a feminist. However, I do expect men to be equal to me in job status and other things. This has labeled me a "gold digger" by some of the men here which I do not appreciate. I'm tired of men saying that women have it easier with dating when I have never been able to find a Hunny that measures up to what I want. No, it's not having too high of standards - it's trying to find someone who is an equal to me. It really does seem that men are taking the easy way out these days. Most couldn't afford to support a family anymore without the woman working. The Cleaver days are gone. I think that women get the crappy part of a relationship - especially marriage - because they are now expected to work AND be Mother of the Year which is totally impossible. That is why in another thread it was brought up that women are happier not being married and men are happier married - because they have everything done for them is the reason. Why would I want to settle for someone who is not my equal that I have to work more in order to support? But men these days want women who have careers. Well, I have a decent career, so where are the men who are making the same as me? Not finding any. So no, I don't have a dating life any easier than men, IMO.


Unless you're ludicrously wealthy I find it pretty hard to believe there's no men making as much money as you are. There's no shortage of wealthy men out there. Maybe you just live in a crummy part of town?



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13 Jan 2017, 2:52 am

nurseangela wrote:
I'm having a hard time taking you seriously after reading your other posts from another thread, but, a man's main goal is to get a great paying job - which sounds exactly what you are planning.

To all the bitter men, find better paying jobs.



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13 Jan 2017, 4:00 am

314pe wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
I'm having a hard time taking you seriously after reading your other posts from another thread, but, a man's main goal is to get a great paying job - which sounds exactly what you are planning.

To all the bitter men, find better paying jobs.


I guess I am screwed then, since I chose to work with something I am passionate about, knowing that my chances of earning high pay are pretty slim and it will take me years of additional experience ..Atleast my job won't bore me to death.

Nurseangela, I don't condone some of the generalisations made here, but honestly you sound just as bitter as the men here. And by the way, who the hell are you to tell me(and all men on the planet) what my main goal should be? I think men and women(individuals) should be allowed to decide that for themselves.