Can't disabled women be sexy and independent?

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Downs is kind of borderline. Basically, it's illegal to have a sexual relationship with someone who is mentally incapable of consent. Many Downs adults can take care of themselves, live independently, and even hold certain kinds of jobs. And they are capable of making decisions wrt dating and physical relationships.

In that case, there's really nothing illegal. But you also have to understand their parents may have reservations and see things differently. Run afoul of them and you risk ending up broke (civil suit) or in prison.

It was more a figure of speech, K-Kelly.

I would date a girl my age of any mental or physical disability that is legal and that she's still capable of giving legal consent.

I certainly wouldn't want to take advantage of a disabled person.

I wouldn't do it out of patronage or anything, I don't feel like I'm 'giving disabled girls a chance' because that's an arrogant and condescending attitude, it's just that if me and a disabled girl like each other and are compatible and can legally have a sexual relationship, I wouldn't see it as a dealbreaker.

My dealbreakers are more general, things like mean/aggressive, severely depressed/suicidal (it's too much for me to handle, moderate depression is fine), too mentally unstable, in very poor physical health to the point they have low chance of living, and if they can't take care of themselves (self-harmer, drug addict, bad diet, very overweight, don't shower or brush teeth enough, etc.)

Doesn't matter what mental or physical problems she has, as long as they don't cause her to be any of those things then it's fine.

My dealbreakers aren't specific things about a person like race, height, disabilties, etc. though I'm not free from this because I do care about age, weight and physical looks to an extent still so I don't judge others over having these preferences. I only dislike those with extremely unreasonable and high standards, but if you're say not attracted to people with dark skin then there's nothing wrong with that as I have my own preferences too.

I assume my own standards are reasonable, I'm attracted to her looks and personality, she to mine, we are 'compatible', and she takes care of herself decent and is of sound mind and health.

And like I said I would date burn-face victims and even mildly-moderately physically deformed girls.

There have actually been a few facially deformed women (not an insult, they obviously did have some sort of deformed bone structure to their face) I still found quite pretty.

I think Penny Loker looks quite pretty, but we're too far apart in age and location.



I still have my limits, though.

If you're 'Elephant Woman' that's too much.

I've had "disabled" women tell me that I'm not sexy. That's pretty independent of them LOL

I've dated a disabled woman who was incredibly sexy and independent. Unfortunately we had nothing else in common besides mutual attraction, so that did not work out in the long run. So I would rank "Have Things In Common" much higher than "Disabled", "Sexy", and "Independent".

If the woman was 18 or over, or of age of consent, depending on where you live, and a worst case scenario such as a law suit or prison came, couldn't the woman defend it in court, saying she did give full consent and wanted to, and just say that her parents are incorrect?

This.

I think people are cringing because of the word "disabled". I would have used "neurodiverse" or "developmentally atypical", because I don't think you are referring to people who are paraplegic, have cerebral palsy, etc. At least I hope you're not, because I don't think people with those kind of conditions are really any more compatible with us on the spectrum than other NTs, aside maybe from the fact that some feel so bad about themselves that they will like anyone who shows interest.

If you make that change, it's a very valid question, so I will discuss it as though it had been phrased that way. In my experience, neurodiverse women who are single and attractive physically and personality-wise are often quite dependent on things outside of them, either on parents who are often over-protective, or on very restrictive social norms (like waiting until marriage, only dating the right ethnicity, or whatever). When I say "attractive physically", I don't mean necessarily model-type looks, even if you restrict yourself to "near average or above" this still seems to hold.

I think part of the issue is that in some ways for neurodiverse people, being independent relies on a good deal of luck. Also, some of the traits I'm attracted to (vivid imagination, daydreamy-ness, innocence) can get in the way of living in the real world. In my case, my high intelligence and a certain type of maturity (maturity in the sense of knowing my passions, and not enjoying the stupid things that many 20-somethings seem to like) has compensated to where in an academic setting I can get by, have my own apartment, etc. There are times in my life where poor mental health has made even that impossible.

It also seems, as many have pointed out here (at the risk of starting another one of THOSE debates) that women get more attention in general. Therefore a "sexy" neurodiverse woman seems to rarely go unnoticed the way a guy like her may, unless there are some kind of "walls" around her, which may consist of overprotective parents, narrow moral views, etc.

I'll also add that I've been a "contrarian" since a very young age (my dad thinks a piece of it may be genetic, as my mom was apparently the same way), so while I often find I'm more dependent than others my age in terms of getting by in the world, I'm just as psychologically independent if not more.

Sometimes this psychological independence, especially in the context of real-world dependence, has gotten me into some difficult situations with potential employers and has made it difficult to accept authority/rules sometimes. The former is something I have mostly learned to rein in, to where I don't get into conflicts anymore, while the latter just leads to philosophical conflicts mostly. But I do have trouble dealing/connecting with women whose opinions seem very constrained by external factors.

I think that smart and attractive ND girls are pretty hard to find. Not because they are rare, but more because of the way they adapt to a lot of male attention. People that are attractive typically adapt by getting very picky, and mostly targeting other attractive people. However, the problem in our culture is that outgoing and extrovert is believed to be an attractive trait, but many ND girls don't go well with this type of guy, so they focus on a group of guys they cannot get along with. After many failures, they are likely to be fed up with guys in general. If they are both attractive and intelligent, it will become even worse as popular guys are typically threatened by smart girls.

OTOH, ND guys that can spot neurodiverse traits in girls can use this to their advantage.

I've been on dates with NTs, people with AS, ADHD and I once went on a date with a guy who had more classic autism. As for sexiness/attractiveness, I haven't noticed any trends with the NTs being any more attractive/sexy or dressing any better than the others, there were fancy/fashionable and daggy people on both sides. I myself am very daggy and tomboy/bush pig/hippy and I don't remember anyone having a problem with it.

Also I know NTs who are dependent (emotionally, financially) on their parents too.

Ergo, there is no correlation.