The reality of getting a gf

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I don't mean opposite sex me exactly; a girl equal in me in attractiveness, success, etc.

If I am a 5/10, I date girls who are no more than 5/10. I don't date girls richer or more successful than me, only equal or 'lesser' but I use that loosely because no one is truly 'lesser'.

If I was 20 and didn't have a job and wasn't studying and still lived with my parents, it would be unrealistic of me to try dating girls who live alone, study and have jobs. Etc.

I am open about my options.

I have asked out and tried dating girls of any height, weight, race, straight or bisexual, asexual, slightly underweight to slightly overweight on the weight spectrum, any body type, any mental disorders or disabilities, any interests or personality.

In senior year of high school I crushed on a tall, blonde confident girl, a short, frumpy redhead nerdy girl with Aspergers who liked history, art and 'diseases', a short, skinny half black tomboy girl with a very similar personality and family life as me, a white, slightly overweight girl with dirty blonde hair who was a bit of a 'country girl', had farm owning family, both her parents were so messed up she was in foster care, a tall white brunette girl with a confident and independent yet childishly silly and playful personality who liked pokemon, anime, gaming, a girl with many mental disorders including learning difficulties who had a rough and traumatic past, was religious, slightly sporty, etc.

I've also crushed on shy Asian girls, confident ones, sporty confident white girls, shy withdrawn white and black girls, goth/metalhead types, a slightly overweight butch tomboy black girl in foster care, etc.

All of them were conventionally a 5/10 or 'average' looking but they were all 10's to me when I was attracted to them.

And still would...

As I said, being friends with completely different types of males and females my whole life hasn't helped me figure out what kind of people I truly fit-in or click with.

I've been friends with laidback stereotypical stoners, stereotypical nerd/geeks, gamers, stereotypical Aussie equivalent of jock/frat bro males, and much more.

@RetroGamer:

You're right, unfortunately.

Statistics show there are more overweight women than men, and in the 13-25 range more boys and young men get more physical exercise than young women. This was Australian research. Google MakeYourMove.com, the campaign for young girls and women to get more exercise and sports activity as they do get it less than males.

The obesity rate is on the rise in Australia across all race/gender/etc.

The more fat people there are, the more competition there is for thin people.

Even among the youth this is becoming a problem.

I guess I'll just have to resort to being one of those guys who ends up dating a fat girl, the one's who don't even try to lose weight, despite the fact this is the body I'm working towards:

November 13th 2016.

You are right. The trouble is, most men are afraid to say they're not attracted to obese women.



^ I've seen this posted on Facebook so many times, usually by men, and then dozens of other men "virtue signal" by agreeing with them. I say I like skinny women and get s**t on. Not by women but by men who are "virtue signalling".

I told this to my social worker and he said most men will pretend to like obese women either because their girlfriend is obese and they don't want to offend her or because they're single and they realise that obese girls are a large part of their potential dating pool.

I think "real men" don't let other people tell them what they should like. "Real men" don't fall for shallow arguments like "If you don't agree with me you're not a real man".

The fat acceptance movement has turned into the fat apologist movement. Yes I tolerate fat people. There's a difference between tolerating them and venerating them.



Also, why has "curvy" recently become a euphemism for fat? 50 years ago, "curvy" meant hourglass shaped. That is, wide hips, wide bust and narrow waist.

Yes I like curves but I think an hourglass shaped woman has more curves than a round woman.

you contradict yourself. In one instance your social worker spouts BS about no men being attracted to big girls then you say men shouldn't feel bad about what they are attracted to

How horrible do you thing a guy would feel after reading the statement your social worker said? less than human i imagine. Very sexist towards men

"Real Men" like what they like and dont have to agree with you. You like skinny chicks and thats fair enough. But dont go f*****g saying no one can be attracted to fat girls!

Actually he didn't say that they shouldn't like fat women, he said that most of them is not sincere about it. He doesn't say that they should feel bad about liking fat women. There are some guys who find it attractive but I think most guys don't. And if a man has a fat woman it doesn't necessarily mean that he is attracted to it or anything, most often it's just that he compromises.
Most relationships have compromises, as it's fairly impossible to find the perfect mate who is the personification of all the traits you like in a partner.
Btw, are you ok? Maybe it's the first time that I see you being mad in a post.

I'm just having a bad time at the moment. Reading a comment like that makes me feel like the man I love could never ever find me attractive and I f*****g hate and am fed up with feeling like I'm a downgrade

I am sorry, hope you feel better. But why, are you fat?

Yes

But despite all my goodpoints it still makes me a downgrade, no matter how smart, friendly, quirky, funny, nice or pretty I am, I'm still a "downgrade"

I'm sorry I made you feel bad. I'm sure your fiancée doesn't see you as a downgrade.

And yes you are really smart, not just anyone could do medical research.

There are plenty of cases where I've seen bigger girls with dates or with boyfriends and gf. Some guys like thick woman. I know I do...society makes it seem like its a bad thing so most men won't outright say it...atleast not in public.

Go ahead. Say it. There's no need for you to be ashamed.

Sometimes, "big" women can be really good in bed. Because they know what they want.

Im sorry I went off on one. I just feel like people are thinking it when they look at us together. I hate that he has to feel uncomfortable for liking big girls (although he has never been ashamed of it).

I hate that I stuggle to believe him when he tells me I am beautiful. It's taken me years to actually believe him, and he gets so sad and do fustrated when I don't believe him even though I know he is a very blunt person who doesn't lie.

Like I accept that some guys like fit or skinny girls and that's ok. But some men like a more chunky girl aswell.

Also if you feel people judge you for liking skinny girls than don't go and do the same to others. It just creates a vicious circle. Body acceptance is about accepting someone can feel good about themselves no matter what body you have, it is not supposed to encorage people to be unhealthy or go to the extremes. It's just supposed to lift that hated of yourself for one moment.

Outrider your 18. But you sound like your 35 I mean that as both a compliment and criticism. Your mature and all but I can't help but feel you have a pessimistic outlook that simply isn't the case.

Don't worry about what any third parties are thinking. All that matters is what you think of him and what he thinks of you.

I have never judged any man for liking fat girls.

Not really. Most 35 year olds I've met are more optimistic than Outrider.

If your boyfriend doesn't mind it, what's the problem? Maybe you are overthinking it.

He already said it.

And why wouldn't a skinny girl know what she wants in bed? It makes no sense.