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Are most men struggling to get healthy weight women?

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RetroGamer87
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03 Mar 2017, 4:56 pm

Alliekit wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Can we get back to the original topic please?

I believe it was "Are most men struggling to get a healthy weight woman?", not "Is it wrong for men to prefer healthy weight women?"
:roll: No one said men have to be attracted to fat people just not to take the piss out of them or treat them as lesser. Do you like people making a single judgementry on you because you don't have a job? Without know anything else about you?
But I do have a job.
It was a hypothetical
Well I think that hypothetical guy should get a job before he expects women to be attracted to him.


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BTDT
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03 Mar 2017, 5:08 pm

What women want is often hiding in plain sight!
You could actually read her profile before sending off that email!



RetroGamer87
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03 Mar 2017, 5:17 pm

BTDT wrote:
What women want is often hiding in plain sight!
You could actually read some of those profiles before sending off that email!
I did. They said they wanted a guy with a job.

In response I got a full time job in IT. Quite a significant lifestyle change but I received significantly more interest from girls on dating sites.

I don't blame them for having preferences such as a preference for a man with a job. I was underemployed before and when I became aware that most women prefer men with full time jobs, rather than ranting about how unfair their preferences are, I got a full time job. I knew that I was lacking in this area and it was up to me to fix that, not up to them to alter their preferences.

Some people cannot work due to medical problems but no one has a right to have a girlfriend.

^ The gender reversed version of that scenario applies to women. If a 300 lb woman gets rejected by guys, it is up to her to lose weight, not up to guys to alter their preferences.

Some people cannot lose weight due to medical problems but no one has a right to have a boyfriend.


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Alliekit
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03 Mar 2017, 6:59 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
BTDT wrote:
What women want is often hiding in plain sight!
You could actually read some of those profiles before sending off that email!
I did. They said they wanted a guy with a job.

In response I got a full time job in IT. Quite a significant lifestyle change but I received significantly more interest from girls on dating sites.

I don't blame them for having preferences such as a preference for a man with a job. I was underemployed before and when I became aware that most women prefer men with full time jobs, rather than ranting about how unfair their preferences are, I got a full time job. I knew that I was lacking in this area and it was up to me to fix that, not up to them to alter their preferences.

Some people cannot work due to medical problems but no one has a right to have a girlfriend.

^ The gender reversed version of that scenario applies to women. If a 300 lb woman gets rejected by guys, it is up to her to lose weight, not up to guys to alter their preferences.

Some people cannot lose weight due to medical problems but no one has a right to have a boyfriend.


no one argued they did



Alliekit
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03 Mar 2017, 7:03 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Can we get back to the original topic please?

I believe it was "Are most men struggling to get a healthy weight woman?", not "Is it wrong for men to prefer healthy weight women?"
:roll: No one said men have to be attracted to fat people just not to take the piss out of them or treat them as lesser. Do you like people making a single judgementry on you because you don't have a job? Without know anything else about you?
But I do have a job.
It was a hypothetical
Well I think that hypothetical guy should get a job before he expects women to be attracted to him.


what im trying to ask you is should one feature undo multiple positives about a person? I would consider what that guys others features are and why he doesnt have a job instead of dismissing him completely. Again im not saying for you to be attracted to bigger girls but perhaps you have too much of a focus on it. It seems almost an obsession to you rather than a preference (I mean no offence here)



RetroGamer87
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03 Mar 2017, 7:13 pm

Alliekit wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
BTDT wrote:
What women want is often hiding in plain sight!
You could actually read some of those profiles before sending off that email!
I did. They said they wanted a guy with a job.

In response I got a full time job in IT. Quite a significant lifestyle change but I received significantly more interest from girls on dating sites.

I don't blame them for having preferences such as a preference for a man with a job. I was underemployed before and when I became aware that most women prefer men with full time jobs, rather than ranting about how unfair their preferences are, I got a full time job. I knew that I was lacking in this area and it was up to me to fix that, not up to them to alter their preferences.

Some people cannot work due to medical problems but no one has a right to have a girlfriend.

^ The gender reversed version of that scenario applies to women. If a 300 lb woman gets rejected by guys, it is up to her to lose weight, not up to guys to alter their preferences.

Some people cannot lose weight due to medical problems but no one has a right to have a boyfriend.
no one argued they did
I never said anyone argued they did.

The point of my post was to argue against the strawman that the guys here are self-impoverished unemployed layabouts who demand girls overlook their undesirable employment status when some of us have actually worked pretty hard to improve our employment status, partly to be more attractive to women.

No one argued that women should like unemployed guys.

IMO, if women aren't attracted to unemployed guys, the solution is for unemployed guys to get a job.


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RetroGamer87
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03 Mar 2017, 7:19 pm

Alliekit wrote:
what im trying to ask you is should one feature undo multiple positives about a person?
No. A fat girl may still have other good qualities.
Alliekit wrote:
I would consider what that guys others features are and why he doesnt have a job instead of dismissing him completely.
You're nobler than I am. If I was a woman I'd only date employed guys.
Alliekit wrote:
Again im not saying for you to be attracted to bigger girls but perhaps you have too much of a focus on it. It seems almost an obsession to you rather than a preference (I mean no offence here)
Yep. I'll admit it's an obsession for me :)

It's not an obsession for your boyfriend. Don't worry about what I think because in his eyes there's nothing wrong with you.


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BriVamp
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03 Mar 2017, 7:21 pm

Depends a little on the context. If I'm just interested in a guy for fwb or a hookup, I don't care if they're employed or not. If we're supposed to have a formal relationship and build a life together, then it starts to matter. Not for shallow reasons but because they need to be able to contribute and take care of themselves.



RetroGamer87
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03 Mar 2017, 7:24 pm

BriVamp wrote:
Depends a little on the context. If I'm just interested in a guy for fwb or a hookup, I don't care if they're employed or not. If we're supposed to have a formal relationship and build a life together, then it starts to matter. Not for shallow reasons but because they need to be able to contribute and take care of themselves.
I didn't say this before but my scenario was for a formal, long-term relationship.


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Alliekit
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03 Mar 2017, 7:51 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
what im trying to ask you is should one feature undo multiple positives about a person?
No. A fat girl may still have other good qualities.
Alliekit wrote:
I would consider what that guys others features are and why he doesnt have a job instead of dismissing him completely.
You're nobler than I am. If I was a woman I'd only date employed guys.
Alliekit wrote:
Again im not saying for you to be attracted to bigger girls but perhaps you have too much of a focus on it. It seems almost an obsession to you rather than a preference (I mean no offence here)
Yep. I'll admit it's an obsession for me :)

It's not an obsession for your boyfriend. Don't worry about what I think because in his eyes there's nothing wrong with you.


actually my fiance has a thing for curvy and bigger girls. he actually finds thin girls very unattractive (I dont approve of when he says bad things about them either).

I just meant that if there is a girl who is perfect for you but perhaps a little bigger than you would like i would hope you wouldnt spite yourself :)



kraftiekortie
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03 Mar 2017, 7:53 pm

I like zaftig girls myself :heart:



RetroGamer87
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03 Mar 2017, 8:41 pm

Alliekit wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
what im trying to ask you is should one feature undo multiple positives about a person?
No. A fat girl may still have other good qualities.
Alliekit wrote:
I would consider what that guys others features are and why he doesnt have a job instead of dismissing him completely.
You're nobler than I am. If I was a woman I'd only date employed guys.
Alliekit wrote:
Again im not saying for you to be attracted to bigger girls but perhaps you have too much of a focus on it. It seems almost an obsession to you rather than a preference (I mean no offence here)
Yep. I'll admit it's an obsession for me :)

It's not an obsession for your boyfriend. Don't worry about what I think because in his eyes there's nothing wrong with you.
actually my fiance has a thing for curvy and bigger girls. he actually finds thin girls very unattractive (I dont approve of when he says bad things about them either).

I just meant that if there is a girl who is perfect for you but perhaps a little bigger than you would like i would hope you wouldnt spite yourself :)
I wouldn't.

If I met a bigger girl who's perfect for me I'd still go with her.

Size is but one of many criteria.

I just meant I prefer skinniness in isolation from other criteria (i.e. all other things being equal).


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RetroGamer87
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03 Mar 2017, 9:24 pm

Alliekit wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
BTDT wrote:
What women want is often hiding in plain sight!
You could actually read some of those profiles before sending off that email!
I did. They said they wanted a guy with a job.

In response I got a full time job in IT. Quite a significant lifestyle change but I received significantly more interest from girls on dating sites.

I don't blame them for having preferences such as a preference for a man with a job. I was underemployed before and when I became aware that most women prefer men with full time jobs, rather than ranting about how unfair their preferences are, I got a full time job. I knew that I was lacking in this area and it was up to me to fix that, not up to them to alter their preferences.

Some people cannot work due to medical problems but no one has a right to have a girlfriend.

^ The gender reversed version of that scenario applies to women. If a 300 lb woman gets rejected by guys, it is up to her to lose weight, not up to guys to alter their preferences.

Some people cannot lose weight due to medical problems but no one has a right to have a boyfriend.
no one argued they did
No one here did but some would argue that. Take a gander at this.

http://www.revelist.com/feminism/fat-dating-lessons/6435/i-am-the-rule-not-the-exception/5

Quote - All fat women deserve platonic and romantic love.

Nope. No one has a right to have a relationship, man or woman, fat or thin. Not Elliot Rogers, and not the entitled woman who wrote this article.


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beady
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03 Mar 2017, 9:42 pm

BTDT wrote:
Yes, a lot of women are looking to make a "connection," someone they can relate to on a very personal level. Guys who can do this are often very successful at dating, even though they aren't wealthy, tall, or good looking.



Bingo! - personality, and being really good at romance/charming is right behind this in priority. I met a fellow who is 20 years older than me and he was still amazingly charming. Add age to the list of things that may not matter. A man who makes a woman feel beautiful and wanted without having to be blunt about it has a true talent. It takes finesse and not everyone has that gift.



kraftiekortie
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03 Mar 2017, 9:44 pm

Being true to yourself is much more fulfilling than being suave.



RetroGamer87
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04 Mar 2017, 6:56 am

beady wrote:
A man who makes a woman feel beautiful and wanted without having to be blunt about it has a true talent. It takes finesse and not everyone has that gift.
Hmmmmm :chin:

This is giving me ideas.


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