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What would dating be like if aspies invented it?

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rdos
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16 Feb 2017, 10:14 am

Alliekit wrote:
rdos wrote:
I know exactly how it works naturally. No dating, no conversations, and a lot of nonverbal communication (ND style, of course). Can be done IRL or online, but it should start IRL, because you cannot communicate nonverbally online. Online you primarily should use hints and monologue, never conversation.

Sharing interests, political views, religion or fashions has no place in ND "dating". It works best if people have no idea whatsoever about each other's social position and cultural preferences.

You also need to have a different time-perspective compared to NTs. A real ND relationship never comes about before you have known each others for several years. It shouldn't because the getting-to-know each other phase is extremely important, pleasant and essential for creating a strong attachment.


Please stop speaking for all NDs. You really think people who stuggle to read body language would date only using that?


I claimed in the second sentence: No dating. In the same sentence, I also claimed I referred to ND nonverbal communication, not NT nonverbal communication. At least to me, it is pretty clear that NDs generally struggle with NT style nonverbal communication, not ND style nonverbal communication.

Alliekit wrote:
Stop painting us all with the same brush


Dito. I never claimed I referred to everybody on the spectrum, rather to the natural way ND relationship preferences worked. It might not be the way you work, even if you have been labelled as autistic.



Zed90230
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16 Feb 2017, 12:46 pm

"ND"?

BetwixtBetween wrote:
I would love that. I wish that were a thing.


I'm sending you a train ticket. :lol:



lostonearth35
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16 Feb 2017, 8:54 pm

I honestly do not know. Maybe it would be like Super Paper Mario when Francis tried to date Peach. :)



nick007
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02 Mar 2017, 5:47 pm

I like the idea of us being set up sense we tend to have such a hard time getting dates


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Galymcd
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07 Apr 2017, 7:08 pm

It'd be a hell of a lot better, that's for sure. We would look past weird quirks and see what's in someone's heart, and in general Autistic people can be quite attractive anyways.



Priola
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07 Apr 2017, 10:33 pm

I think it was during my first date I was on with a guy - a few years ago. My date joked about how mechanical I sounded like I almost had a list of things written down - that I am asking him one after the other.

What is the big deal about asking questions on a date - I never understood?

Maybe you're expected to make some sort of conversation. It doesn't come naturally to me.



Homer_Bob
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16 Apr 2017, 4:50 pm

I'd picture it like a job interview, very formal and honest. No beating around the bush, no BS, just the facts.


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hurtloam
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16 Apr 2017, 4:56 pm

Homer_Bob wrote:
I'd picture it like a job interview, very formal and honest. No beating around the bush, no BS, just the facts.


Yes I agree with this.

I wish I could just be blunt and say, "I like you and I want to spend some more time with you." I'd be totally ok with someone saying that to me.



Richardf269
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17 Apr 2017, 12:22 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Homer_Bob wrote:
I'd picture it like a job interview, very formal and honest. No beating around the bush, no BS, just the facts.


Yes I agree with this.

I wish I could just be blunt and say, "I like you and I want to spend some more time with you." I'd be totally ok with someone saying that to me.


That's what I'd say to someone I like. It's what I prefer with women as well. Blunt.