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Men give no clues

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Ignotum
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23 Apr 2017, 10:55 pm

Jacoby wrote:
yungsavage wrote:
Jacoby wrote:
Perhaps being so young you have a more nurturing coddled upbringing but I was thrown to wolves and didn't go to any special schools or have any sort of help until I was in my 20s and that's even with being diagnosed when I was like 15. Young people like yourself also never lived in a world without social media which is a transition I haven't been able to make and people who literally grew up on it are just in a totally different reality to me. My personality evolved out of the environment I grew up in which were terrible public schools in the inner city of a hopeless poor rustbelt, having anxiety about being humiliated or made fun of or ostracized I think are rational when that's been your life experience. I wasn't born a pessimist, I became one.

You aren't actually Shia LeBouf right?




Woah, looks like we got an elitist here. First of all, don't assume stuff that you don;t know about me. I grew up in an incredibly low income family. Some days I would go without meals, I didn't even get a phone until I was 14 and it was an outdated one at that. I lived in Oakland, California, which is not a very nice city by any means. I was also bullied a lot, but I never let it get to me.

None of this has to do with what I said, however. You went off topic to rant about how bad your life is. What the f**k does having a hard life have to do with not being able to approach people?


I'm not sure you know what 'elitist' means, think of a better insult if that's what you're going for. Are you on the spectrum? If you don't understand the social deficit then I wonder about your diagnosis, that's kind of the central aspect of it isn't it?

"Just stop doing that" isn't good advice, that's just ignorance on your part. Do you understand mental illness? You think maybe having a hard life might have something to do with that?

Mean streets of Silicon Valley huh?


Yung seems to be suffering from a flaw so common among those in their teenage years, namely that of being somewhat self-centered. Simply another flaw that will get chiseled out naturally over time and life experiences probably, don't mean anything hateful by my observation. Jacoby also acted somewhat rude as well however, so the blame for this argument falls on both sides. Anyways... you guys wanna hug it out now? :mrgreen:



Ignotum
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23 Apr 2017, 11:05 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Nowhere near California.

I'm just going to give up. I don't have the skills or emotional capacity for this dating/relationship stress.


I give up. Im going to take a break from Wrong Planet for a while. Talking about it doesn't help either.

I wish I could just die now. I'm just so sick of life. I can't participate.


Damn, it sucks to feel that way. I honestly wish that I could say something that would make you feel better, but I'm not sure that I could. If there's any god up there, I'll reprimand him to give you some pleasant thoughts, an understanding partner, and a life with a bit more meaning in the future.



rdos
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24 Apr 2017, 2:15 am

yungsavage wrote:
Of course you can be afraid of the outcome. Being rejected isn't fun at all, however, never approaching the person and staying lonely instead is worse.


So that's the only possible ways? I don't think so. Not cold-approaching or asking for dates will fix the rejection issue, and then the lonely issue can be fixed with flirting at a distance, using hints, and eventually jump right into a relationship with no dating. I know it works, so no fantasy. Dating is for NTs, not NDs. We never were meant to meet partners that way. In fact, that's the very reason why many of us ND guys will not and can not cold-approach.



rdos
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24 Apr 2017, 2:20 am

Jacoby wrote:
I'm not sure you know what 'elitist' means, think of a better insult if that's what you're going for. Are you on the spectrum? If you don't understand the social deficit then I wonder about your diagnosis, that's kind of the central aspect of it isn't it?


Actually, when ND guys are unable to approach girls, that's not a social deficit. The proof lies in the fact that many know that it works that way, but still are unable to do it. Thus, not an issue of not knowing social conventions.



yungsavage
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24 Apr 2017, 2:23 am

Jacoby wrote:
yungsavage wrote:
Jacoby wrote:
Perhaps being so young you have a more nurturing coddled upbringing but I was thrown to wolves and didn't go to any special schools or have any sort of help until I was in my 20s and that's even with being diagnosed when I was like 15. Young people like yourself also never lived in a world without social media which is a transition I haven't been able to make and people who literally grew up on it are just in a totally different reality to me. My personality evolved out of the environment I grew up in which were terrible public schools in the inner city of a hopeless poor rustbelt, having anxiety about being humiliated or made fun of or ostracized I think are rational when that's been your life experience. I wasn't born a pessimist, I became one.

You aren't actually Shia LeBouf right?




Woah, looks like we got an elitist here. First of all, don't assume stuff that you don;t know about me. I grew up in an incredibly low income family. Some days I would go without meals, I didn't even get a phone until I was 14 and it was an outdated one at that. I lived in Oakland, California, which is not a very nice city by any means. I was also bullied a lot, but I never let it get to me.

None of this has to do with what I said, however. You went off topic to rant about how bad your life is. What the f**k does having a hard life have to do with not being able to approach people?


I'm not sure you know what 'elitist' means, think of a better insult if that's what you're going for. Are you on the spectrum? If you don't understand the social deficit then I wonder about your diagnosis, that's kind of the central aspect of it isn't it?

"Just stop doing that" isn't good advice, that's just ignorance on your part. Do you understand mental illness? You think maybe having a hard life might have something to do with that?

Mean streets of Silicon Valley huh?


I did misuse elitist, I thought it meant being passive aggressive. My bad. Keep in mind I am talking about what works for me here. I find it relatively easy to approach people, but I find it hard to get why somebody would rather be lonely then ask somebody they like out. I came across as close minded in my original post and I apologize for that .
I struggle way more with communication and signals than I do with being sociable.
Here is my ASD quiz results:
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 170 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200
So I am definitely on the spectrum. I was also professionally diagnosed.

Also, you seem to be a very hostile person. If you are gonna last out at people online, please go to reddit's autism board.

Oh, and Oakland is the 3rd most crime ridden city in the US. The streets can be pretty mean.



Galymcd
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25 Apr 2017, 6:42 pm

hurtloam wrote:
I've noticed men commenting that women only seem to give really subtle clues that men miss.

From a woman's perspective men seem to do the same. Why is it always me who has to make the first move. I always feel like I'm jumping blindly into the dark.

I'm always told to make it more obvious. But why can't the guy make it more obvious

I always find out that he was just being friendly and the attention didn't mean anything.


Men are pretty blunt about their interests, mainly because they HAVE to be (i.e. initiate) to get dates in the first place.

I hate to say it, but if you're constantly having to make first moves, that isn't normal. My mom even had Asperger's herself and she got hit on just as much as anyone else in school.



sly279
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26 Apr 2017, 1:09 am

hurtloam wrote:
Then why does no one just tell me that the like me. I'm always the one to do it.
Yes I tend to go for aspie type men.


Cause that's not socially acceptable and is creepy. So I've been told.
Not to mention you'd(women) would likely just reject us(men)