How soon is too soon to start dating after a breakup?

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Ok, for those of you who aren't in the know, I recently broke up with my now ex. It has been a good couple of weeks now, but I'm still having trouble getting over my ex. I've been trying to keep busy, but I also seem to have gone from having a full social schedule to having not much of one. It has been a bit of a jarring change. I'm not sure if hooking up with someone else right away is the answer, but it is a solution I'm mulling over right now.

I asked a friend and he recommended waiting a few months as it hasn't worked out for him anytime he has tried getting into a relationship immediately after ending a previous one. That does seem like sound advice. On the other hand my ex keeps harassing me about wanting to get back together so maybe hooking up with someone else will finally help her get the message. I think I will hold off for at least a couple more weeks yet, but I'm still open to advice.

I've also been mulling over whether, as a Christian, I should hook up with another Christian. My friend thinks I'm just buying into church propaganda, but I'm not so sure about that as it does seem like dating a non-Christian could pose at least somewhat of a problem for a long term relationship if I were to pursue one. I did some research on Google and while it's true that Christians can date non-Christians, such a couple could connect on a physical and emotional level, but not on a spiritual level. Hmmm...I suppose even internet dating has options for Christians...

Anyways, if anyone has any advice, thanks in advance.

When my ex broke up with me and ended our 15 year relationship I thought about this.

I think it's 24 hours, 12 is a little disrespectful but life is short so 24 hours.

Only a day? Wow, that's quick. I suppose if you can move on that quickly after a 15 year relationship then 2 weeks after one that lasted less than 2 years is plenty. Are you sure that's the social convention? If so I should be hopping onto a dating site ASAP.

Try giving it as much time as you feel you need until you get to the point that you no longer feel that you need to ask the question if it is too soon to start dating. That way, you follow what feels right for you.

Tough call, I been in a rocky relationship in college for six months with this girl who just has issues and is slightly narcissistic. Broke it off today with her, got another date lined up later tonight with a acquaintance from last year.

I tend to move on pretty fast however, just my two cents.

I thought about it for 2 years.

My advice was for people emerging from a 15 year relationship.

I was a mess lol.

That actually seems like really sound advice. Thanks.I can only imagine. Part of me still can't process that the status quo in my life has changed so drastically, and it only gets more weird when I'm around my ex. I mean, I wasn't even in my relationship for two years and I'm experiencing something akin to the five stages of grief. I like to think I'm mostly over it now, but then something triggers a mini relapse of sorts, like when a mutual friend of mine and my ex asked if I have feelings for her. I had to tell her that I wouldn't feel right dating someone who's a close friend of my ex, and she also happens to be the ex of a good friend of mine which is just one more reason why I should keep her in the friend zone. Of course whether it's ok to date a friend's ex is another topic entirely, but regardless of whether it's right or wrong it's an avenue I personally wish to avoid.

I'd say a minimum of two months is a safe timeframe to be away from dating anyone after a break-up. Chances are it depends on the person as well, though - some people get over break-ups very quickly, others less so.

Your circle of friends is becoming incestious, it happens.

Break the chain, if they were with a friend then nope, no good ever comes of it.
You'll either lose a friend or 2 friends, also you'll add an extra layer of awkward to every interaction thereafter with either of them.
Sometimes it's better to hold off and w*k into a sock for an extra month rather than indirectly have sex with a male friend. *winks*

You'll love again, don't jump at the first request though.
Unless it's from someone who gives you a funny feeling in your chest, then you must at least try.

I dunno.
I went from thinking that was it for me to being very happy by taking a chance, pretty big chance but worth it.

until you're over them, it's too soon. there's no time frame. when you're dating someone and seeing someone new, it has to be 100% about them. when you're getting to know them, you're not thinking about the ex, you're not letting past bad experiences influence this one. you're not discussing your ex with them. you're not thinking about the new person as a means to get back at your ex. doesn't matter if it's 3 days, 3 weeks or 3 months, until those things are settled, it's too soon.

i don't get why you need to hook up with someone to "send a message" if you don't feel as if you can fix things, tell them. and be clear about it.

I have, and I have been clear about it. It's up to her now if she wants to get it or not.

Besides, I've realized something. She's a damsel waiting atop a tower for a knight to come and save her, and for the longest time, I thought I was that knight. As it turns out, I'm actually a knight who's looking for a lady knight, so I allowed my ex to return to her tower until such time as she's either ready to pick up her sword and take control of her life, or a knight who is looking for a damsel should find her.

I'm a modern guy so it follows that my ideal woman is modern as well, and she should be someone I can depend on just as much as she can depend on me. That, and I think I was looking at things the wrong way. I don't need to change my life to fit another person into it. I should continue to spread my wings and fly, and only hook up with someone who can fly alongside me. My soulmate is someone who will fit into my life, not someone I need to shape my life around. That is what I've decided, and I have also decided that dating isn't something I need to do. It's something I think I want to do again, and I will do when I'm ready, but it is not my priority in life.

Great attitude: I wish it didn't take me until 31 to figure this out!

I recently saw my ex cross in front of me while driving in my neighborhood. After yelling "what the $@^ is she doing here??" I realized that she hasn't changed a bit since I left her 3-4 years ago except gained a ton of weight. I thought when I met her I could rescue her and teach her about being an adult. All that happened was that I got dragged into the fire with her. I do chuckle when said told me that she was 'too good' for someone like me a few months after breaking up. She had no job, no car, no license, no solid future plans and atrocious work and educational history.

You are on the right track and I see a bright future ahead of you. Raise your bar or you are just going to decapitate yourself.

Be careful of attempting to have a rebound relationship. Its not good for your mental health. I never met a person in my life who is healthy after a relationship to another.

Well, in the last couple days my ex went into overdrive and started texting my family, who suggested texting her back. Moreover, she Facebooked a friend of mine to ask if he can tell me to text her, and he's the kind of guy who's actually dumb enough to follow through on such a ridiculous request. I broke protocol and have had not one, but two conversations with her explaining in no uncertain terms why I broke up with her, and she only hears what she wants to, and then proceeds to ask the question again that she knows full well the answer to. I had to tell her that if she doesn't stop texting me I'll have to block her number. Also, it doesn't help matters that she "reminded me" that a volunteer event was tonight and I thought I was losing my mind as I didn't recall it being tonight, but I thanked her anyways, and went to my church, only to find out that I wasn't losing my mind and it wasn't actually tonight.

Suffice to say I've never been more sure that I am, beyond a reasonable doubt, over her. I meant what I said before, and where the road takes her from here on is up to her. Worry not. I am no longer interested in seeking a second relationship merely for the sake of yielding to some empty vapid emotion that has since come and gone. If I want to meet someone else it will be for a far more rational reason.

If this happens again in the future don't do that at all. You already explained yourself more than any reasonable person can expect. Like my ex, she is only going to see what she wants to see and will twist what you say into something ridiculous. If you need another hammer to the head keep going but I think the point has been driven home for you. This girl is toxic and being in contact will only make you miserable.

You might think I am being silly saying this again but she is potentially dangerous. Not only myself but many people close to me have experience with this type of obsessive personality. It's almost like they follow a script and get more and more desperate to get your attention. Mine even made the obligatory suicide threat.