Tim_Tex wrote:
The question for me is: how do I convey my sexual needs and preferences to a potential partner without sounding like a creep?
You just do it. Don't worry about sounding like a creep.
See, sex really only enters the conversation if you know someone well enough that you're both up for intimacy. It all depends. Sometimes one date is enough. Sometimes 3 years is NOT long enough. The question is, do you trust her AND does she trust you? The topic is marriage, so intimacy is expected. If you're waiting for marriage, you both have known each other for a long time before dating, seriously dating at least 3 months, and you've talked about getting married but not yet engaged, it's time to bring up the topic of sex and what you both expect after marriage. You WON'T be a creep because she trusts you by this point.
If you don't get sayisfying answers on the sex and intimacy question, dump her. If you're not on the same page on sex, you're incompatible and will be miserable together married.
I used to know this girl who met her husband online. Dude waffled on sex and marriage. Eventually he caved to pressure from her to get married and live in the same state. But then he had this total revulsion to sex. Total dealbreaker, but she stayed with him anyway for several unhappy years. I have no idea if they're still together. The lesson is make sure you have this discussion before marriage and be honest with yourself about any signs your partner is being dishonest. With this couple, she stayed in constant denial before marriage because she was in looooooooooove. She knew he had some issues. She knew they'd had fights before he put a ring on it. She knew it had taken him a long time to propose. She knew he only did it because she pressured him. She looooooved him. So getting married would change him and change everything. She couldn't be honest with herself and ended up stuck in an unhappy marriage.
Don't do it. If this is someone you know well enough to marry, discuss it. If it creeps her out, you're incompatible. If it creeps her out, you're not even good friends. If you can't even be good friends, why think you could be good marriage partners?