Lying on Dating Sites

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Chronos, you strike me as very smart. Smart people may guess enough things correctly with limited information to grow overconfident. I'd suggest backing off the generalizations and looking for information to contradict your assumptions about creeping people out in general or about the attitudes of 20 something men in general.

Chronos has many admirable qualities, in my opinion.

She is scientifically-logically minded, which might narrow a person's perspective, if the person is not careful. But I believe she succeeds, by and large, in avoiding that pitfall.

The comments sound like things I've believed until I sought verification. It turns out that I misunderstand a lot of stuff about people.

For example, more than once I assumed that some young woman felt sick at the sight of me, only to learn later that I misread signs of attraction. I generally read facial expressions accurately (even though I often misattribute the cause), and assumed that I should avoid those women for the sake of everyone's comfort. Other people have a lot of hangups concerning attraction, too. I may have some that I have yet to discover.

If I told the whole truth about myself, I wouldn't get too many replies on a dating site. I don't use the Internet as a dating site, anyway.

People don't have to reveal their "deepest darkest secrets," in my opinion, until they are ready to marry somebody.

I'm not really sure how others perceive me in terms of physical attractiveness but as I have previously said, I'm rarely approached. If I'm ugly or unattractive in some way, I don't think it's in a conventional manner. I'm not androgynous and most people perceive me as a gentile European, with the exception of some of the Indian and Persian shop owners here who apparently have an uncanny ability to determine my exact ethnicity. I suspect part of the issue is due to AS.

I agree with a lot of what you said in your OP, Chronos.
From experience can vouch what you are saying in my 30's - being upfront about who I am physically and mentally has improved my matches and comms on a particular site.

Frankly, white lies are ok-ish about the non-physical realms IMO but you can't alter your appearance with words, so might as well be honest. After a certain age most are seeking commitment and honesty is key to that.

This mystery has yet to be solved unfortunately. In some instances, I've literally just been standing there minding my own business. I'm sure AS has something to do with it.



I've never approached someone substantially younger than me. I think the youngest was four or five years younger, but in the situations I'm speaking of, I hadn't solicited anyone. I think sometimes people worry they are being solicited when someone who they find unattractive is interacting with them and I think young men and young women both have the potential to be adverse to being solicited by someone much older than them.

I've only been approached twice by women in my life. One of them was a Jesus freak who was one year younger than me ; the other was just plain aggressive, and about 10-15 years my senior.

The "plain aggressive one" put out an ad in the newspaper, in 1983, which I answered. I rang her doorbell. She literally pulled me in to her apartment, and we made love right there. It was funny-weird LOL. She introduced me to grits and eggs, and to lovemaking methodology. We went out for a few months, but then she started wanting me to spend money on her which I didn't have at the time. So we went our separate ways. In retrospect, she was good for me.

Now....if only I had been approached by a scholarly older lady, I would have been in paradise!

The people reacting to you is still weird though, even with the AS explanation. AS is behavioral and its manifestation is subtle; I doubt that it creates a magical vibe aura that makes people scared without even talking to them.

New development. Yesterday my neighbor spontaneously told me I was beautiful, and today a homeless lady to whom I was giving directions spontaneously told me I was hideous and expressed that she was worried I was going to attack her when I pointed in the direction of the place she wished to go. Granted she was likely schizophrenic and could have possibly been looking at her reflection in my sunglasses.

The homeless lady sounds delusional.

For some reason, I feel like you might be stunning without knowing that you're stunning.

That, along with normal aspie social misconceptions, could explain a lot.

Hah, we were both under 32 and so under that age restriction. If one feels older or physically unfit, I don't think it contributes overall to their dating profile or male status, it all comes down to the job they do. It always does.
If someone is bending over charts all day mapping out their own co-ordinates so that they dont become ship wrecked then what else are they likely to be doing, apart from getting seasick, they hve plenty of time to become forlorn and lonely, and that isolation for anyone, would be a killer. I can only aasume that a compass needs to point in the right direction to ensure any hope for a future on dry land.
At what point do you stop lying about your physical attributes and focus on your mental age? Again, I'm selfishly assuming the weight options and struggling delusions about women and self improvement were well tasked in belonging in a male only taskforce, have a part to play and can only limit someones self esteem.
I've been on dating sites long enough to know, when its ok to be your own role model, and not for another twisted generation. If you intend to be discreet when attracting a newcomer that's fine, but then if its someone you really like,you should swap fiction for facts or tell them later when you've gotten a fair gist of them. Improvements can be made over time, if time is on their side, if you gather my meaning. Time is like the tide, it ebbs and flows, then drifts far away into another oceanless existence.
I wonder if another well fought term is like, ''Training the heart of a sealion and having the brains of an ox. ''
God help the next sea bandaged Daryl Hannah who comes forth bearing gifts.

Yeah! That`s very common practice!

Sorry? are you quoting me? If you are, then you should never play down the part of innocence, even for a royal task force bearing gifts. Its about quality not quantity at The Worlds End, so to speak.