10 year age gap. Can a 29 old date a 19 year old?

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ask her out

Ask her out.

Aspies are in a weird position when it comes to age. Older people like us because we're still kinda childlike in a way, and the elderly are into whole surrogate grandchild thing. But at the same time, we have a bit of an unusual "old soul" kind of vibe that attracts younger people. We're like "dad" or big brother teddy bear. Which can have its negative side. I don't believe in a real "friendzone," a relationship hell from which there is no return. But I very much believe in the bro-zone, which will forever and for all time kill your chances with a girl.

But--I think that's just the risk we take. Exactly what can you do about it? It's just like dating girls of any age. They will either go for you or they won't. So take getting bro-zoned in stride and move on. Being older will defo help your chances more often than not.

Heck, even Hugh Hefner achieved crusty old man status a long time ago and it hasn't changed a thing for him. I'm not saying being older automatically grants you Hef status. But it certainly doesn't hurt.

I started dating my partner when I was 20 and he was 32 so we have a 12 year age gap. We've been together almost 5 years and the age is really no big deal. Nobody even cares. The only people who ever say anything about it are extremely conservative people in their 60's or above who are also concerned that we don't have the same skin color. As such, I completely disregard their opinion. The younger generation today is much more relaxed about age gaps and racial differences and they couldn't care less as long as both parties are consenting adults.

I've always been overly mature for my age and my partner and I were interested in each other based on intellectual conversations that we had with each other. It was not about sex and we did not rush into any kind of physical relationship. We shared the same values and lifestyle goals and we had very similar personalities. It sounds like this is what you are looking for and so I would ask her out and see if she's interested. Maybe she is or maybe she isn't but it's silly to start panicking about what other people might think of the matter when you haven't even found out.

Age gaps are fine. Like everything some relationships work with big age gaps, like my grandparents, others don't like my sister and her husband (he physically and mentally abused her but that could happen with someone the same age depending on the nature of the person). It depends if people connect and have things in common. Due to my interests I should get on famously with teenage boys, so tend to stick to nerds and geeks when dating people.

Dating outside of your age range is more likely to end in heartbreak.

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/arch ... ge/382520/

From that link: Marriage is, above all, about 50-50 partnership; differences in ages also mean differences in life experience and cultural reference points. Generations may be an invention, but they are meaningful nonetheless.

But, that is talking about normal people. Aspies typically don't have the same life experience and cultural reference points as people who are the same age as they are.

Well, now, let's think about that. I know a woman who has spent at least the last 3 years cheating on her husband every chance she got. It's her 2nd marriage. There's about a 10 year or so age gap there, too. He's facing issues such as heart disease, hygeine issues from lifelong smokeless tobacco use, and with his medications is somewhere between lost interest in intimacy to wanting sex at off or inconvenient times. He's also showing early signs of dementia. So now that he's becoming an inconvenience and her sex life is unfulfilled in the marriage, she takes that as a GOOD reason to cheat and avoid being intimate with her husband when he's having a good day.

I know this can't be easy, and I understand that. It just pisses me off when I hear about marrieds who promise each other a life together through thick and thin all of a sudden split because "...or poorer" or "in sickness..." became inconvenient. You dump or cheat on someone when they need you the most. If you can't bear living for someone besides yourself, don't even bother with relationships in the first place.

[/soapbox]

I guess what I'm trying to say is large age gaps defo have advantages for both partners. But you also must be prepared for what's going to happen as one of you approaches old age. If it were me going first, I'd lay every expectation on the table. THIS is what you're signing up for. What's mine is yours on the CONDITION that you have my back and carry out my wishes should I lose my mind. Cheat on me and we're through. And I'd very likely insist on a pre-nup in that case.

Good thing I'll never have to worry about that! lol

Very confusing to my anxiety.

At this point we're all just expressing ourselves in generalized comments on age gaps. Let me uncomplicate it for you right now:

ASK HER OUT.

And when your date is over, come back here and spill it. Tell us how it went.

That is all.

AngelRho is right. Just ask her out.
You won't know how significant that age gap between you is until you get to know her properly or go on a couple of dates. 10 years can be all sorts of different between people.

From my own experiences let me give you a bit of advice. If you're looking for a lasting relationship based on the fact that she's cute is a bad idea, which is what I'm getting here. I skimmed the last page of it but from what I understand, you have done little in the way of talking and the co-workers are looking to play matchmaker just because you are both single and know you are interested.

My recent and second relationship started by us talking and while I think she's attractive in her own right, I've come across some really cute girls but probably wouldn't date. It actually took me about a month to ask her out only because I knew I'd regret it if I didn't and the fact that we could talk for hours and I noticed I was actively looking for her when I walked into the store (she works at a grocery store I was helping to remodel). It also probably helped that both our co-workers noticed we were both interested in each other and were pushing us to start seeing each other.

My first relationship was from a childhood friend I had managed to reconnect with about 15 years ago and we got to talking and fell wildly in love with her, probably from the fact that she paid attention to me while everyone else seemed to hate my guts.

To answer your question, yes, but I would be very VERY careful. Especially as she has yet to figure out what she wants out of life and if she heads off to college... well, things wouldn't be looking to bright there unless it was like a community college.

Nothing wrong with dating people 10 years younger/older than you. If you're both consenting adults, even a 40 years difference shouldn't be a problem if both sides are willing...
I personally wouldn't go past 15 years age difference, but that's just my own decision, so I wouldn't really date a 50-year old or a 20-year old, although my mental age is probably 22-ish as I'm quite childish

So... go for it

From my experience, large age gaps are fine for short term flings, but when it comes to long term relationships, keep it under the 10 year limit. It also depends on both of your ages. When both of you are young, 10 years is a huge difference, but later in life, 10 years is acceptable.

Also, the problem with huge age gaps is mainly social acceptance (family, friends, strangers, etc.), and lifestyles/values/interests are usually different.

That being said, I think you are on the cusp of being acceptable. It's your choice.

Lady asked the girl if she liked me and she said no

Duh! Of COURSE she said no. For one, it's nobody's business who you like, and people run their mouths when they shouldn't. Please tell me you don't expect that to be honest or accurate.

Besides, this isn't jr. high. You should approach her directly and discreetly. If she's just not that into you, you give her a way out without things getting weird--to "save face," so to speak.

And why do we have to "like" anyone? Getting together for a simple, creep-free, casual hangout (heaven forbid we call it a date) is NOT a marriage proposal.

I'm glad I failed to ask her out this morning. I really should known better. No woman can find me attractive or would want to date me. I'm done being nice to women in person except the few who are aqquantiences . I wish women wouldn't smile at me as it sends confusing message.
New girl smiled at me but I just ignored her.
I'm done with their games.