Would it be harder for an ugly guy on the spectrum?

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I have to post a general comment to all this. I truly can't know what goes on inside @Probably_Drunk's head, but the fact of the matter is that romantic attraction is entirely unfair and has no bearing on whether or not a person "deserves" the companionship of a life partner. In fact, even simple friendship is heavily predicated on appearance. There was a piece on the morning news (I have the day off from work otherwise I would not have seen it) about how quickly people judge each other solely based on appearance.

In this regard, men may have some advantage over women. Some physical traits that are generally considered "ugly", or even in some cases obesity, won't necessarily deny a man female companionship, as the factors that attract women to men are somewhat more complicated. Sorry to generalize about this, but it's basically true.

If I go to the mall, and consider every female over the age of 18 I see there, and sort by whether I could imagine her as a sex partner, I have to confess that the number of rejects would probably represent the vast majority. I often see this as a problem on L&D when men freely claim that "any woman" can go out and find someone to have sex with if they'd just relax their standards a bit. The fact is that the aforementioned group of rejects are invisible to these men — they are simply not included in the statistical sample.

When it comes to choosing a life partner, things get even worse. There's plenty of women who could probably manage some one night stands if they made it clear that was truly all that mattered to them, but compared to more attractive women they WOULD have to lower their standards, which is frankly demeaning if you were to point out to them that they will always be disadvantaged when seeking a mate. It is quite clear to me which women on this forum are attractive and which aren't. The former may complain about lovers' behavior but seem always to have male companionship of some sort. The latter seem to never even find a date. Yeah I truly believe things are worse for women overall, but if you're the Ugly Guy of the subject line then that won't make you feel any better.

I'll confess right now that I've been plenty guilty of judging women on the basis of looks, despite not being God's gift to women in any way. I can remember the last woman I dated before meeting my wife — who was a fantastic bedmate — and thinking about what tiny eyes she had and did I really want to look at them the rest of my life (not the reason the relationship ended but nevertheless there it is).

It's possible some people on the spectrum are faceblind to the extent they are truly less affected by looks. But OTOH I think the lack of empathy actually makes things worse; harder to perceive a person's "inner beauty" and more influenced by outward appearance. In fact I'm almost certain that's my own problem. I value my wife largely due to her appearance and how gracefully she has aged. In fact my belief that she would keep her looks for a long time (and the fact that she is a few years younger anyway) had a lot to do with my willingness to marry her. A horrible confession but there you have it.

One other thing. Regarding getting one's teeth fixed, this can be extremely expensive. It is certainly expensive in the US despite which fact I have generally observed that Americans tend to have better teeth than people from other countries even a wealthy country such as Japan. So you can't just dismiss somebody for not getting their teeth fixed, or their nose for that matter (unless necessary for proper breathing rather than purely cosmetic). This is just out of reach for many, perhaps most folks on WP.

In summary, we live in an ugly world and it's our lot to deal with it.

In no way am I trying to say that people aren't shallow and only look to date people they deem physically attractive, what I'm saying is that there are allot of people who aren't that way, people who feel that they are unattractive damage their chances of meeting someone by listening to the negative views of shallow people.

If someone is deemed unattractive by shallow people there's no point dwelling on it, there are plenty of people who would like to get to know them if they didn't allow themselves to be beaten down into feeling self-conscious and worthless.

Many people would find them to be attractive partners if they learnt to disregard negative people and to be more open with people about themselves, if you're not appealing to shallow people you need to give people who aren't shallow the chance to know you.

Just wanted to leave a quick note here for any moderators directed to this thread, I in no way feel offended or harassed by anyone, everyone has a right to an opinion, freedom of speech is still a thing for some of us, to the person who PM'd me regarding this thread, I totally understand where you are coming from, but if you don't like what anyone has to say you have every right to ignore it, I won't be making any reports, thank you.

^^^^I agree with the vast majority of what you said.

Why would anybody report you?

somebody wanted me to report somebody else, maybe a bit of a witch hunt going on, just thought it best to let my feelings be known on the thread

I believe it's excellent that you believe in a free exchange of ideas.

This runs counter to what's going on in Trump's America.

I believe people have opinions, and should express them.

I don't believe one should be offended if one doesn't share your opinion.

I get offended by people all the time, don't know when it became such a big deal to offend somebody, yet another plague on humanity from the SJW camp, won't be happy until someone moderates every word we say, because god help us if someone gets offended.

There are many "microaggressions" in life.

We have to take them, and go on living.

"Social Justice Warrior" received its sarcastic definition for a reason.

I wouldn't worry about it, I just wanted to make my feelings clear in the thread in case they tried to use our disagreement to try and back up whatever issue they have.

i'll bet anything that they would say the same thing for guys with aspergers,even me

Ooo so you exposed their sinister plan against me; I am starting to like you.

But don’t feel so flattered.