10 Feb 2018, 5:03 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,050
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
10 Feb 2018, 7:31 am
10 Feb 2018, 7:53 am
10 Feb 2018, 8:02 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,050
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
10 Feb 2018, 8:32 am
10 Feb 2018, 1:58 pm
fluffysaurus wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
I can't believe how many guys (not all) are telling you not to bother 
She's an Aspie female, she is going to have issues, you happen to have come across one of hers early on which might be why you have a good chance with her because a lot of NT guys would assume she's playing games, but since you understand that's extremely unlikely from an Aspie you should just be patient. The best way to get her to meet you is to take the pressure off about doing it, tell her to let you know when she's ready and keep communicating in other ways.
She's an Aspie female, she is going to have issues, you happen to have come across one of hers early on which might be why you have a good chance with her because a lot of NT guys would assume she's playing games, but since you understand that's extremely unlikely from an Aspie you should just be patient. The best way to get her to meet you is to take the pressure off about doing it, tell her to let you know when she's ready and keep communicating in other ways.Because it's raising a serious red flag. If she can't even meet up with the guy when arranged, twice, then there's something pretty serious going on.
Yes, it means she's really anxious about it. I get really anxious about some things, I'm still hoping to find someone who will be understanding about those things. Don't most Aspie's get anxious about things that seem easy to normal people?
Wouldn’t yo be less anxious after talking to the guy for weeks?
I know I am. I feel like I know the lady already and so I’m far less anxious. I’m mor anxious about messing up. I’m also far less shy if I’d talked to them via text for weeks before, that’s probably why those women thought I was confident on the dates. But if I made a date with say a lady from work I’d be all shy and quiet on the date, I don’t know them as I haven’t talked to them.
Also no not all aspies get anxious. I get really super anxious about video and voice chatting, or phone calls. This aspie lady forced me into video chatting with her after two messages. It was horrible for me. But obviously she didn’t have any anxiety about it.
10 Feb 2018, 2:22 pm
sly279 wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
I can't believe how many guys (not all) are telling you not to bother She's an Aspie female, she is going to have issues, you happen to have come across one of hers early on which might be why you have a good chance with her because a lot of NT guys would assume she's playing games, but since you understand that's extremely unlikely from an Aspie you should just be patient. The best way to get her to meet you is to take the pressure off about doing it, tell her to let you know when she's ready and keep communicating in other ways.
She's an Aspie female, she is going to have issues, you happen to have come across one of hers early on which might be why you have a good chance with her because a lot of NT guys would assume she's playing games, but since you understand that's extremely unlikely from an Aspie you should just be patient. The best way to get her to meet you is to take the pressure off about doing it, tell her to let you know when she's ready and keep communicating in other ways.Because it's raising a serious red flag. If she can't even meet up with the guy when arranged, twice, then there's something pretty serious going on.
Yes, it means she's really anxious about it. I get really anxious about some things, I'm still hoping to find someone who will be understanding about those things. Don't most Aspie's get anxious about things that seem easy to normal people?
Wouldn’t yo be less anxious after talking to the guy for weeks?
I know I am. I feel like I know the lady already and so I’m far less anxious. I’m mor anxious about messing up. I’m also far less shy if I’d talked to them via text for weeks before, that’s probably why those women thought I was confident on the dates. But if I made a date with say a lady from work I’d be all shy and quiet on the date, I don’t know them as I haven’t talked to them.
Also no not all aspies get anxious. I get really super anxious about video and voice chatting, or phone calls. This aspie lady forced me into video chatting with her after two messages. It was horrible for me. But obviously she didn’t have any anxiety about it.
I'm not sure, I might feel that I had built them up too much in my mind and worry that they were not what I had persuaded myself they were or I might feel that I would disappoint them and worry that I had not represented myself accurately enough. I think my biggest fear would be that the person didn't believe anything that I put because that is such a constant problem that I have with people. That someone I thought I had things in common with me, had just been humouring me. I get that a lot too.
It's like, until I actually jump and crash, I don't know for sure that I can't fly.
10 Feb 2018, 3:07 pm
10 Feb 2018, 3:42 pm
Nira wrote:
I played online game and met there one boy. We chatted together ingame and played together. He wanted to meet me. I was worried, that i disappoint him, and then I lose him. I don't think, that i look good, i was worried, that he will not like my look. I was happy that I have friend and I didn't want to change anything. He claimed me that he love me and meeting will change nothing between us. He persuaded me over half a year, then he convinced me. I had the train for free, so I came to him. I didn't know there was anything wrong, but when I came back, he began to behave differently. He didn't write to me first, he didn't write so often, he played less. Eventually stopped playing completely. After this experience, when I found someone other in game, I had more reason to worry. He was upset at me because I didn't want to meet him and he stopped chatting with me. I wanted to fix it and decided to go to the meeting with people from this game. He didn't come, but there I met my husband.
Maybe she has bad experience or she has the same concerns as I had. For me is better, when is clear, how it will be, when some activity is scheduled, not only talking.
Maybe she has bad experience or she has the same concerns as I had. For me is better, when is clear, how it will be, when some activity is scheduled, not only talking.
That happy ending came as complete surprise
10 Feb 2018, 7:38 pm
10 Feb 2018, 8:58 pm
11 Feb 2018, 12:22 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,050
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
11 Feb 2018, 1:17 am
11 Feb 2018, 2:57 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,050
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
11 Feb 2018, 8:02 am
11 Feb 2018, 1:10 pm
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