Why can’t I spit it out?
11 Mar 2018, 3:03 am
Continuation of this thread (viewtopic.php?t=360922).
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
11 Mar 2018, 3:14 am
rktho wrote:
Continuation of this thread (viewtopic.php?t=360922).
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
What is the purpose of telling her if you believe she already knows and does not reciprocate those feelings?
11 Mar 2018, 1:26 pm
Daniel89 wrote:
I really thought this thread was going to be about how you loved to swallow.
Seriously though, OP. If there are no feelings to be reciprocated, why put yourself through the inevitable anguish of her distancing herself from you for good?
She's trying to be nice and not play on what is a very obvious attraction you have for her. She's probably hoping you'll end up having a crush on another girl and move on without her having to reject you.
If you can be friends and live with that, just be friends.
_________________
Yours sincerely, some dude.
11 Mar 2018, 1:28 pm
Chronos wrote:
rktho wrote:
Continuation of this thread (viewtopic.php?t=360922).
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
What is the purpose of telling her if you believe she already knows and does not reciprocate those feelings?
It needs to be explicitly said so it’s out in the open. Also, there’s a tiny chance I’m wrong about her knowing. (However, I completely doubt she reciprocates.) Nothing is confirmed and it needs to be addressed.
11 Mar 2018, 1:30 pm
TheSpectrum wrote:
Daniel89 wrote:
I really thought this thread was going to be about how you loved to swallow.
Seriously though, OP. If there are no feelings to be reciprocated, why put yourself through the inevitable anguish of her distancing herself from you for good?
She's trying to be nice and not play on what is a very obvious attraction you have for her. She's probably hoping you'll end up having a crush on another girl and move on without her having to reject you.
If you can be friends and live with that, just be friends.
At this point I don’t think it’s her. It’s me. I’m spineless.
AngelRho
Veteran
Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
11 Mar 2018, 1:46 pm
Next chance you see her, you gotta pull the trigger on this thing. Doesn’t matter how you do it, just get it done.
Ok...her talking first...this is GOOD. Always start that way. I know, I know, it derails. Let her run her mouth for 5 minutes (roughly...don’t like, keep looking at your watch the whole time). Between the 5-10 minute mark you say, “hey, listen, I want to tell you something.” And then drop the hammer on it. No more waiting. No more excuses. BAM. Done.
AngelRho
Veteran
Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile
11 Mar 2018, 1:53 pm
Chronos wrote:
rktho wrote:
Continuation of this thread (viewtopic.php?t=360922).
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
What is the purpose of telling her if you believe she already knows and does not reciprocate those feelings?
Easy answer: makes it real. No going back. No wondering. He says how he feels, clears the air, and either gets the satisfaction of the unexpected or the disappointed closure of failure. A life lived with one less load of bs.
I like it.
11 Mar 2018, 3:12 pm
AngelRho wrote:
Next chance you see her, you gotta pull the trigger on this thing. Doesn’t matter how you do it, just get it done.
Ok...her talking first...this is GOOD. Always start that way. I know, I know, it derails. Let her run her mouth for 5 minutes (roughly...don’t like, keep looking at your watch the whole time). Between the 5-10 minute mark you say, “hey, listen, I want to tell you something.” And then drop the hammer on it. No more waiting. No more excuses. BAM. Done.
Ok...her talking first...this is GOOD. Always start that way. I know, I know, it derails. Let her run her mouth for 5 minutes (roughly...don’t like, keep looking at your watch the whole time). Between the 5-10 minute mark you say, “hey, listen, I want to tell you something.” And then drop the hammer on it. No more waiting. No more excuses. BAM. Done.
That’s what I TRIED to do. It didn’t work. I froze up. I need to strengthen my tack.
Also, she doesn’t run her mouth off. She just asks me questions. How’s school? What classes are you taking? Your favorite subject is writing? I remember, you write novels. Have you been working on those? Are you going to get them published? I finally said, “Well, what about your classes? What are you taking?” and I learned a bit about her for a change. When the lull in the conversation came I took a deep breath and said her name. I was going to tell her. And then for whatever reason I couldn’t force out of myself.
I’ve been thinking about bringing up some kind of segue. Like, “Have you read Harry Potter? Who’s your favorite character?” And after she told me about hers (assuming she’s seen or read Harry Potter) I’d say, “My favorite character is Ginny Weasley, ‘cause she’s nice, athletic, and comes from the best family ever. Kinda reminds me of someone.” I dunno, that’s just a hypothetical segue I could do. I’m thinking a segue subject would really help, but it’d have to funnel straight into what I was trying to tell her.
11 Mar 2018, 3:16 pm
AngelRho wrote:
Chronos wrote:
rktho wrote:
Continuation of this thread (viewtopic.php?t=360922).
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
What is the purpose of telling her if you believe she already knows and does not reciprocate those feelings?
Easy answer: makes it real. No going back. No wondering. He says how he feels, clears the air, and either gets the satisfaction of the unexpected or the disappointed closure of failure. A life lived with one less load of bs.
I like it.
Disappointed closure of failure? I won’t be disappointed. It’s what I’m expecting after all. As long as it removes all awkwardness instead of increasing it, it won’t be failure. But yes. CLOSURE is EXACTLY what this is about. You hit it right on the head.
11 Mar 2018, 4:16 pm
rktho wrote:
Chronos wrote:
rktho wrote:
Continuation of this thread (viewtopic.php?t=360922).
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
What is the purpose of telling her if you believe she already knows and does not reciprocate those feelings?
It needs to be explicitly said so it’s out in the open. Also, there’s a tiny chance I’m wrong about her knowing. (However, I completely doubt she reciprocates.) Nothing is confirmed and it needs to be addressed.
Why not just give her a note then? Or give a friend a note to give her. Stop creating awkward situations.
11 Mar 2018, 4:19 pm
Chronos wrote:
rktho wrote:
Chronos wrote:
rktho wrote:
Continuation of this thread (viewtopic.php?t=360922).
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
What is the purpose of telling her if you believe she already knows and does not reciprocate those feelings?
It needs to be explicitly said so it’s out in the open. Also, there’s a tiny chance I’m wrong about her knowing. (However, I completely doubt she reciprocates.) Nothing is confirmed and it needs to be addressed.
Why not just give her a note then? Or give a friend a note to give her. Stop creating awkward situations.
There’s something important about doing it in person. Seeing their reaction. Yes, I know what it is already, but that doesn’t make it less important.
11 Mar 2018, 4:47 pm
rktho wrote:
Chronos wrote:
rktho wrote:
Chronos wrote:
rktho wrote:
Continuation of this thread (viewtopic.php?t=360922).
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
What is the purpose of telling her if you believe she already knows and does not reciprocate those feelings?
It needs to be explicitly said so it’s out in the open. Also, there’s a tiny chance I’m wrong about her knowing. (However, I completely doubt she reciprocates.) Nothing is confirmed and it needs to be addressed.
Why not just give her a note then? Or give a friend a note to give her. Stop creating awkward situations.
There’s something important about doing it in person. Seeing their reaction. Yes, I know what it is already, but that doesn’t make it less important.
It sounds like this is all about you and how you feel with little regard to her experience of the situation. She is obviously putting time and effort in to being polite to you. I know you are very young and have a lot of growing to do but I will tell you two things flat out.
1. Relationships are about two people and you need to consider the other person.
2. Girls are often polite and civil even when a situation is socially stressful for them.
You seem to have very fixed ideas about how this situation should unfold, which conflicts with the sociodynamic flow of tge situation. You seem to be attempting to force this situation without regard to her.
What do you think her perspective is in all of this?
11 Mar 2018, 4:50 pm
Chronos wrote:
rktho wrote:
Chronos wrote:
rktho wrote:
Chronos wrote:
rktho wrote:
Continuation of this thread (viewtopic.php?t=360922).
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
So now we’re on good terms, and I want to tell her how I feel. I’m 99.99% sure she already knows but it needs to be acknowledged. So I’ve been planning to tell her.
Well, last night I went to a dance. Her friend said they were t coming but they showed up anyway for a little bit. I was able to snag a dance with her.
The song I’d been listening to to pump myself up was playing. I’d just led her into the dancehall and we started dancing. I had a big smile on my face. I was going to do it.
Well, my first mistake was letting her talk first. She asked about my classes— even though I’d told her about them last time we danced, which was LAST WEEK. (And before you ask, no, we don’t usually have dances two weeks in a row. The last one was an annual ball and this one was a monthly one.) I turned the conversation to her classes after telling her everything I’d already talked to her about. (She’s in high school. We’re the same age but I skipped a grade so I take college classes.) I learned her favorite subjects and stuff. Then I mentioned my 18th birthday was coming up and she said she couldn’t make it to the party because her brother (the one who’s not on a mission) was getting married. (I knew that— I’d forgotten when the wedding was.) I told her to tell him congratulations from me. After that there was a lull in the conversation.
I said her name.
I choked on my words and all I could manage was a sheepish smile.
I was going to try again when the dance ended. All I could do was hug her for ever-so-slightly too long and thank her for dancing with me. It was too late to say anything else.
Except it wasn’t, because as I was texting my confidant Luna about it, I walked into the snack room and realized she was still there. I asked Luna for advice— should I go for it even though the moment was gone? But before I could hit send, she left, and instead I texted her about missing my chance for the second time.
As we talked about it and how I’m absolutely spineless, she walked right by with her friends and said goodbye as she walked out the door. That was the THIRD time I thought she’d left, only this time it was for real. I’m an idiot.
I’m seeing her again tomorrow like I do every Sunday, but I wasted the perfect opportunity. God HANDED it to me and I dropped it through my sweaty fingers. And He kept trying to hand it back when I wasn’t paying attention.
Should I try to tell her tomorrow or wait for a better time? I’ve noticed pulling her aside to talk about something specific is more anxiety-inducing than asking her to dance and bringing up stuff I want to talk about, so I’m thinking maybe not. But when I try to tell her I have a crush on her, I can’t do it. I don’t know why. There’s no way she doesn’t already know I like her. I know she doesn’t feel the same way, but I need to get it off my chest so it doesn’t make things awkward again.
How do I tell her? Telling her over message is out because it’s the coward’s path and she doesn’t respond to them anyway. Asking a friend to do it is pointless because she already knows. I have to tell her, in person. But I can’t, no matter how easy it seems.
What is the purpose of telling her if you believe she already knows and does not reciprocate those feelings?
It needs to be explicitly said so it’s out in the open. Also, there’s a tiny chance I’m wrong about her knowing. (However, I completely doubt she reciprocates.) Nothing is confirmed and it needs to be addressed.
Why not just give her a note then? Or give a friend a note to give her. Stop creating awkward situations.
There’s something important about doing it in person. Seeing their reaction. Yes, I know what it is already, but that doesn’t make it less important.
It sounds like this is all about you and how you feel with little regard to her experience of the situation. She is obviously putting time and effort in to being polite to you. I know you are very young and have a lot of growing to do but I will tell you two things flat out.
1. Relationships are about two people and you need to consider the other person.
2. Girls are often polite and civil even when a situation is socially stressful for them.
You seem to have very fixed ideas about how this situation should unfold, which conflicts with the sociodynamic flow of tge situation. You seem to be attempting to force this situation without regard to her.
What do you think her perspective is in all of this?
I’m TRYING to find out.
