How to bring up that your partner might have Aspergers?

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Since I've gotten my own diagnosis, I've been thinking a lot about the behaviours and mannerisms of aspies, and I feel like my girlfriend of 2 years might also have Aspergers. She's had trouble with anxiety all her life, and went to therapy as a kid for it, still struggles to this day (though much less), and I have a nagging suspicion that it's because she's on the spectrum. I tried bringing it up once while we were out walking but she got kinda defensive about it so I dropped it. Given her personality, I feel like it's something that she would have to figure out on her own, but since I told her I was an aspie about a year ago she's shown no interest in learning about autism. If she is, I want her to know because it helped with a lot of the insecurities and questions I have about myself and I think it will help her in the same way too. How should I bring it up to her?

No easy way that won't piss her off. She knows you have it and that it exists to learn about. If she wants to learn about it, she will seek out info or ask you. If you bring it up she will likely be PISSED. Even to if you mention it when she's being particularly aspie with a comment like "and I thought I was the autistic one," she's not going to be happy about it because she sounds like someone who'd prefer to live in denial that she's even on the spectrum.

Many of my family are like that. There's no reasoning with them at all. There's no amount of telling them that if they'd at least learn about it they'd have the knowledge and tools to understand themselves and their lives better, and live better lives for it even if they're not interested in treating their symptoms.. but they're simply not interested in knowing and thus you cannot teach people like that anything about it because they don't want to hear it.

So, either bring it up flat out and piss her right off and see what happens.. or never bring it up and let her just do her thing ignoring what she already likely knows is true of herself and just roll with it.

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