01 Oct 2018, 9:53 am
01 Oct 2018, 9:56 am
Scam? It's not a scam. It works. It's not for everybody though, and you need to believe what you are experiencing, and so I don't think you will be able to set it up.
01 Oct 2018, 10:13 am
He sounds kind of like me. I got diagnosed this year as an adult.
I am also very quiet. When i'm with someone they carry the conversation and if they don't we can sit quietly for long periods of time. I can't do small talk if I tried.
I also do well with eye contact but I struggle with it internally, in every conversation I have with someone i'm constantly thinking about how much I should look the other person in the eye, it's tiring.
I also love routine, without it I don't do anything. Can't improvise how to spend the day at all. 
I also shut down easily. It's something I don't even think about but it constantly gets on my familys nerves when we're going through rough patches because they're worrying, wanting to talk about it, can't sleep etc.while I can very easily "shut down" and pretend like the problems don't exist. Rough patches still affect me physically though because it takes a toll on you to surpress things so in the end it's not the best way to deal with things therefore I would advice you to try and get him to talk to you if something's bothering him. Therapy is a really good way to learn to open up too.
With other words it definietely sounds like your S/O might be on the spectrum. My best advice is to be patient and understanding and accept him as he is. Let him have his space to rest when he needs to, let him have his special interests if he has any, be very clear about what you want as he may not understand what you mean by something unless you're literal, let him have a routine and don't force him to be spontaneous often if he can't handle it. You could come up with a daily routine together (if you live together) that you could follow and both be comfortable with. It might also be difficult for him to talk about his emotions so don't make him feel forced to if he's better at showing how he feels - you could help him better put things into words though when it's necessary like if you need to talk about something. Again, just be patient with him. When (if) he gets his diagnose he will hopefully be provided with enough help and support to learn how to handle things better which could be good for your relationship as well.
That's the best advice I can give. Hope it helps.
01 Oct 2018, 10:16 am
01 Oct 2018, 10:21 am
01 Oct 2018, 12:56 pm
01 Oct 2018, 1:48 pm
01 Oct 2018, 2:08 pm
01 Oct 2018, 2:50 pm
01 Oct 2018, 3:20 pm
01 Oct 2018, 3:32 pm
01 Oct 2018, 4:01 pm
Even with her, I sometimes need a few hours by myself to unwind. She doesn't like this. She says she misses me too much, even if I'm in the next room.
She wants me to go on a holiday with her next year and I'm a bit nervous about this. Three whole weeks in a different country, sleeping on strange beds and away from people I know.
Like a lot of aspies I'm uncoordinated. Sometimes she wants me to go with her to gym classes or yoga classes. I don't mind some exercise but certain types of movement can be too complicated for me. For example, her yoga class requires doing things while standing on one leg. It's nearly impossible for me to stand on one leg for a second, let alone a minute and having to balance on one leg for a minute while trying to hold my body sideways and lift one arm towards the ceiling is beyond impossible for me.
When I was single I sometimes felt like I wasn't good enough for girls and now I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough for my girlfriend. She's beautiful and I'm plain looking. She's fit and I'm fat. She's a really good cook and I'm not. She has a master's degree and I never went to college. She really seems to love me but sometimes I wonder what she sees in me.
Thank you for sharing
Your girlfriend sounds a lot like me, haha. I'm always trying to convince my s/o to try the gym with me. He says he's lazy so I just let it slide lol. I do notice that it's difficult for my bf to interact with others but the ONE time I saw him do it was because we were playing a game with some of my friends that he REALLY liked and it was like night and day. I saw the most social, outgoing version of himself I had ever seen. I was blown away. He acts like that when we're one-on-one but hardly in any other social outings. She, like me, probably sees every single good thing about you and acknowledges that it compliments and outweighs any "flaw" you perceive yourself to have. While I have made this post, originally frustrated at my bf's lack of verbal input, I've learned that I have a very special someone who is an EXCELLENT listener. I feel privileged that he feels comfortable enough to be himself around me. I am honored that he makes a daily effort to talk/text/interact with me because he loves me.
I'm sure there's lots that you do for your girlfriend that you may not realize you do. Give yourself some credit
Wonderful people attract wonderful people.
01 Oct 2018, 4:04 pm
That would be mind-to-mind, but it is unlikely you will be able to create such a connection when you have been together for almost a year.
Probably. Phone conversations are just horrible.
You shouldn't expect flow in conversation. That's pretty unnatural for Aspies.
What is mind-to-mind?
We spend a lot of time on the phone actually. We call each other a fair amount. As for who does the talking... well we know who that is
01 Oct 2018, 4:06 pm
01 Oct 2018, 4:08 pm
02 Oct 2018, 6:04 am
We spend a lot of time on the phone actually. We call each other a fair amount. As for who does the talking... well we know who that is
Mind-to-mind is basically when you skip talking and communicate directly instead.
You will notice it by getting his feelings directly into your head.
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