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hurtloam
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24 Dec 2018, 7:23 pm

Raleigh wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
cberg wrote:
sly279 wrote:
On a side note
I’m so tired of this “ have you’re life together” s**t.
Why not just date people who’ll love you , make you happy and treat you well?


Please make a new thread about this. Seriously.

Agreed.


Wasn't that what this thread was about in the first place? He mentioned it right there in the first post.

You must have amazing deciphering skills.


He mentioned "stuff together" 3 times!

Knowing sly from is previous posts it's obvious.

He was annoyed a woman who doesn't have employment outside the home could be considered as having their "stuff together" when an unemployed man can't, he said it confused him.



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24 Dec 2018, 7:24 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Hurtloam likes you, Sly.


Hurtloam is trying to help, but is beginning to think her help is not wanted.



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24 Dec 2018, 7:28 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
cberg wrote:
sly279 wrote:
On a side note
I’m so tired of this “ have you’re life together” s**t.
Why not just date people who’ll love you , make you happy and treat you well?


Please make a new thread about this. Seriously.

Agreed.


Wasn't that what this thread was about in the first place? He mentioned it right there in the first post.

You must have amazing deciphering skills.


He mentioned "stuff together" 3 times!

Knowing sly from is previous posts it's obvious.

He was annoyed a woman who doesn't have employment outside the home could be considered as having their "stuff together" when an unemployed man can't, he said it confused him.

So he was really saying he's sick of having to have his s**t together to find a gf and wants someone who wants him for him.
As cberg said: say it without all the smoke and mirrors.


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kraftiekortie
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24 Dec 2018, 7:30 pm

I would say what Raleigh said is true.

And I also believe Hurtloam would be a good friend to Sly.

And Sly to Hurtloam.



CockneyRebel
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24 Dec 2018, 7:35 pm

I bet that either that woman is a successful author or she's published a handful of jigsaw puzzles that happened to be big sellers. That could be one possibility.


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CockneyRebel
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24 Dec 2018, 7:36 pm

I also can't believe that we're all arguing on Christmas Eve.


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24 Dec 2018, 7:39 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I might be able to do the fancy restaurant once in a while---but certainly not the trip overseas. My wife pays for our trips overseas. She makes more than me--and that's okay. She works a lot harder, too.

I've never thought about a woman's income when I started digging her. I have found that many women really didn't think about mine, either. As long as I can take them to a movie and dinner (which was much cheaper, it must said, in the 1980s). A movie was like maybe 3-4 dollars a person, and a dinner for two in a decent restaurant about in the $30 range. I took home about, let's say, about $800 a month in the early 80s. My rent was $300 a month.


I don't care one bit about a woman's income. Money is nothing more than a resource. If I like somebody, I'm not going to disregard them because they don't have a huge stockpile of resources. Besides, you can always find ways to help your partner fix such trivial issues. If I were to date an unemployed woman, I'll just use my network to find or even get her into a job, no worries. She wants to get a degree that'll get her a job but can't afford it, then I'll just help cover those costs while she studies. This sort of thing doesn't bother me.

And no, I don't expect a woman to do the same for me. It's just that for what I want in a partner, her ability to rake in the cash isn't a concern.



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24 Dec 2018, 7:46 pm

sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Oh C'mon Sly....by a thread on the Internet?

That and my family doesn’t like the turkey or Christmas dinner and things I ruin everything on top of the fact Christmas is the most depressing holiday.


I beg to differ with you about Christmas. Perhaps you wouldn't be in such a bad mood if you didn't start this thread. I guess the best thing that you can do now is forget about this thread and don't keep coming back to it if it's going to upset you more.


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24 Dec 2018, 7:58 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I also can't believe that we're all arguing on Christmas Eve.

Were we arguing?

Anyway, it's half way through Christmas Day here.


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24 Dec 2018, 8:18 pm

sly279 wrote:
puzzledoll wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I wonder if I’d left out the mom part if people been as reactionary.


Something like "How does a single stay at home parent make enough money to make ends meet?" would have been a good way to go. I know several and aranger, I think it was, mentioned how their mom does it. Many people have told you possible ways. The way the original post was phrased very much comes across as being judgmental of the mom for not working and makes it seem like you think it has to be alimony (ie some wounded ex supporting her lazy ass). There is literally NO way you can know how that specific stay at home mom supports herself unless she chose to tell you. Setting it up aimed at one specific dating site profile of a woman made it feel very judgmental of that specific woman who we literally know nothing about and never will. There is no way to answer how she supports herself.

I saw her profile and I wonder how I used it as example. I didn’t share her name or profile so I don’t see how it’s bad. I really do feel men just can’t talk about women here like at all. Seems wp puts women on a pedestal.
People judge me all the time without knowing my reasons or situation that’s just how the world works. They do it to my face, it’s not like I messaged her rudely and and judged her. I just came to ask what I believed to be a harmless question and people took it personal for reasons beyond me.

On a side note
I’m so tired of this “ have you’re life together” s**t.
Why not just date people who’ll love you , make you happy and treat you well?


It was the way you phrased it that made it seem other than harmless curiosity. It wasn't a "How does a person do this thing?" It was "How does THIS woman on a dating site who I don't know from Adam do this thing? It mustn't be because they are doing something correct with their life...." What you wrote came off sounding very judgmental and that was what I responded to. I know several single moms and they get so much judgment from people that my mama bear perks up when it seems single moms are being looked down on.

I agree, people should date people who they love and who will treat them well. The whole thing about getting your act together is about being a decent partner though. If a person can't even cope with their own life, it just isn't a good sign that they can cope well as part of a couple. Having your act together doesn't mean having a six figure income or anything though, at least not in my book and not in the opinions of most of the people I know. Most people I know don't care if people work retail or "menial" jobs as long as they get along and between them can manage to survive financially long term. If someone does care about that then they are obviously too shallow for me to deal with.



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24 Dec 2018, 8:19 pm

And who doesn't like a Christmas Eve/Christmas debate anyway? Gotta bring some excitement into things! LOL



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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24 Dec 2018, 8:38 pm

puzzledoll wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I can't stand these sorts of discussions.

I don't think anybody would criticize Sly if he were a stay-at-home dad who recently got divorced.

I wish people wouldn't go by the sorts of people who hang out on dating sites.

For every one of those women who demand that a man "have his life together," there are several who don't demand that.

Many women, these days, don't want to rely on a man in any way---financially or what have you.

My wife certainly doesn't rely on me (if she did, she wouldn't be where she is now).


What Kortie said! Seriously people, why even ponder about this? It's her life, her thing, and the OP said he couldn't and/or wouldn't even contact her because he doesn't meet her profile expectations. Why does he even care where a woman he will never interact with gets her income? Why does ANYONE? All this thread is, is a steaming pile of judgement being placed on a woman no one here knows anything about! You wouldn't criticize a stay at home dad you knew, why jump all over this poor woman with your judgmental conjectures? It gets no one anywhere good.


Hear! Hear!



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24 Dec 2018, 8:41 pm

puzzledoll wrote:
sly279 wrote:
puzzledoll wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I wonder if I’d left out the mom part if people been as reactionary.


Something like "How does a single stay at home parent make enough money to make ends meet?" would have been a good way to go. I know several and aranger, I think it was, mentioned how their mom does it. Many people have told you possible ways. The way the original post was phrased very much comes across as being judgmental of the mom for not working and makes it seem like you think it has to be alimony (ie some wounded ex supporting her lazy ass). There is literally NO way you can know how that specific stay at home mom supports herself unless she chose to tell you. Setting it up aimed at one specific dating site profile of a woman made it feel very judgmental of that specific woman who we literally know nothing about and never will. There is no way to answer how she supports herself.

I saw her profile and I wonder how I used it as example. I didn’t share her name or profile so I don’t see how it’s bad. I really do feel men just can’t talk about women here like at all. Seems wp puts women on a pedestal.
People judge me all the time without knowing my reasons or situation that’s just how the world works. They do it to my face, it’s not like I messaged her rudely and and judged her. I just came to ask what I believed to be a harmless question and people took it personal for reasons beyond me.

On a side note
I’m so tired of this “ have you’re life together” s**t.
Why not just date people who’ll love you , make you happy and treat you well?


It was the way you phrased it that made it seem other than harmless curiosity. It wasn't a "How does a person do this thing?" It was "How does THIS woman on a dating site who I don't know from Adam do this thing? It mustn't be because they are doing something correct with their life...." What you wrote came off sounding very judgmental and that was what I responded to. I know several single moms and they get so much judgment from people that my mama bear perks up when it seems single moms are being looked down on.

I agree, people should date people who they love and who will treat them well. The whole thing about getting your act together is about being a decent partner though. If a person can't even cope with their own life, it just isn't a good sign that they can cope well as part of a couple. Having your act together doesn't mean having a six figure income or anything though, at least not in my book and not in the opinions of most of the people I know. Most people I know don't care if people work retail or "menial" jobs as long as they get along and between them can manage to survive financially long term. If someone does care about that then they are obviously too shallow for me to deal with.


Actually most people I know find it annoying or incomprehensible that I work with lots of advanced technology. I would be much more able to relate if I had any kind of job working with people or material things.


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24 Dec 2018, 9:06 pm

puzzledoll wrote:
sly279 wrote:
puzzledoll wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I wonder if I’d left out the mom part if people been as reactionary.


Something like "How does a single stay at home parent make enough money to make ends meet?" would have been a good way to go. I know several and aranger, I think it was, mentioned how their mom does it. Many people have told you possible ways. The way the original post was phrased very much comes across as being judgmental of the mom for not working and makes it seem like you think it has to be alimony (ie some wounded ex supporting her lazy ass). There is literally NO way you can know how that specific stay at home mom supports herself unless she chose to tell you. Setting it up aimed at one specific dating site profile of a woman made it feel very judgmental of that specific woman who we literally know nothing about and never will. There is no way to answer how she supports herself.

I saw her profile and I wonder how I used it as example. I didn’t share her name or profile so I don’t see how it’s bad. I really do feel men just can’t talk about women here like at all. Seems wp puts women on a pedestal.
People judge me all the time without knowing my reasons or situation that’s just how the world works. They do it to my face, it’s not like I messaged her rudely and and judged her. I just came to ask what I believed to be a harmless question and people took it personal for reasons beyond me.

On a side note
I’m so tired of this “ have you’re life together” s**t.
Why not just date people who’ll love you , make you happy and treat you well?


It was the way you phrased it that made it seem other than harmless curiosity. It wasn't a "How does a person do this thing?" It was "How does THIS woman on a dating site who I don't know from Adam do this thing? It mustn't be because they are doing something correct with their life...." What you wrote came off sounding very judgmental and that was what I responded to. I know several single moms and they get so much judgment from people that my mama bear perks up when it seems single moms are being looked down on.

I agree, people should date people who they love and who will treat them well. The whole thing about getting your act together is about being a decent partner though. If a person can't even cope with their own life, it just isn't a good sign that they can cope well as part of a couple. Having your act together doesn't mean having a six figure income or anything though, at least not in my book and not in the opinions of most of the people I know. Most people I know don't care if people work retail or "menial" jobs as long as they get along and between them can manage to survive financially long term. If someone does care about that then they are obviously too shallow for me to deal with.

I wasn’t looking down on single moms I even said so. My mom was single mom, I neber had a dad. Though it’d be better to have a mom and dad in picture that’s not always possible. Most single moms I’ve seen or met work or live with parants and work.
We lived with my grandma until i was in middle school.

See you don’t think I’m dateable or a decent guy either.



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24 Dec 2018, 9:10 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
sly279 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Oh C'mon Sly....by a thread on the Internet?

That and my family doesn’t like the turkey or Christmas dinner and things I ruin everything on top of the fact Christmas is the most depressing holiday.


I beg to differ with you about Christmas. Perhaps you wouldn't be in such a bad mood if you didn't start this thread. I guess the best thing that you can do now is forget about this thread and don't keep coming back to it if it's going to upset you more.

No I’m super depressed at Christmas and holidays every year. I loved Christmas but I hate it now, i hate being alone, holidays are for family’s and couples. Everything about them is geared towards, pushed towards couples and families all Christmas movies are love movies. Some guy and woman meet and bam few days later they madelunin love and married. Blah being alone all my life killed my Christmas spirit.



sly279
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24 Dec 2018, 9:13 pm

hurtloam wrote:
sly279 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
cberg wrote:
sly279 wrote:
On a side note
I’m so tired of this “ have you’re life together” s**t.
Why not just date people who’ll love you , make you happy and treat you well?


Please make a new thread about this. Seriously.

Agreed.


Wasn't that what this thread was about in the first place? He mentioned it right there in the first post.

I take it you no longer like me?


You're so dramatic. I'm stating what I saw in the first post. Nothing less, nothing more.

Does not mean I don't like you.

We don’t message anymore and you seem to be mad at me a lot on here lately.
:s