Ever loved somebody that doesn't love you?

Post Reply New Topic

my friends never loved me
or really even liked me

Friends ain't the word for that then.
I didn't have friends until College.
Eh, I had some buddies, but no one
that I shared love with.

I love women who are "safe" for me to love -- meaning, they'll never love me back and break my heart. I don't claim this makes any sense, I'm just reporting the rut I fall into.

If a woman seems like she's interested, that's a huge red flag to me. She should be able to sense I'm not relationship material! If I can't trust her judgment that far.....

Last edited by Ragtime on 23 Jul 2007, 1:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This has happened to me many times. Usually the girl pretends that she likes me, and then rejects something I say like, "You wanna go to a movie?"
The last girl that did that said, "I am not sure that is appropriate. To be honest with you: I only consider you as a friend." and then you feel sad an miserable for many days.

I have only really "loved" one girl beyond just me loving my friends which is a different kind of love entirely. I am pretty sure she loved me back, she said so all the time and she was the one bringing up marriage. She could have been doing that just to get me to open up more though, as she probably questioned how much I cared about her. That is due to me being a distant, daydreaming, "me" time loving person. I really want to have some time to be left alone, and she wanted to talk on the phone for hours a night and hang out all weekend (I worked with her too lol). So yeah I have never loved anyone else romantically, really didn't let myself do that again. All it did was get me hurt in the end.

To dgd1788: That is B.S. the movie excuse... I see movies with my friends all the time. You can see movies as friends. It isn't like the only time I go to the movies, I am on a date. Most of the time its just hanging out with friends. You might be mistaking a girl being nice to you as a friend, for her liking you in a romantic way. Just because she is nice to you, does not mean she wants to date you.

I have been in love twice when it was unrequited... and once when I was not in love but the other person was (I think) in love with me.

Either way sucks. True love comes when your inferiority complex is equal to your partner's .

Hmm...maybe.

yes, I have loved someone who never loved me back, although she claimed to

She was a compulsive liar and used me rather than loved me like she claimed, also turns out her GP says she needs to see some mental health specialist, which she refuses to do, so I highly suspect she has a mental health problem and it won't be long before it comes to a head

she gave me 3 years of hell, after finishing with her this year I have been happier though she still gives me grief from time to time

Sounds like she still does.
Not sure what I'd say about
you though.

Love is forever. Even if it turns to
hatred.

I like you.

I also disagree a little with Lady Macbeth, because as this happens sometimes, it is not always the case.

A couple can go out, get married and they probably never really loved each other.

Two people reciprocating their feelings to each other is not a thing to constitute wether that feeling is actually Pure Love, I don't think that is a requirement.

Love is something unconditional, you care about the other person, about their needs, their feelings, without expecting something back, accepting the other person as it is, that's true love, it doesn't need to be reciprocated for this.

But I know this isn't always like that, a lot of times when someone doesn't like you back, it can become an obsession, because you don't have that person.

The thing is love is more than just two people going out in my opinion.

Ragtime, I just wanted to say that I can relate to what you said completely! It doesn't make any sense to me either, but it just seems to happen.

I appreciate you are giving your opinion. I think you have every right to that opinion.

Having made a 12 year study of infatuation, or (Limerence) and understanding the chemical nature of both 'love' and 'infatuation' and how the amino acids interact with patterns laid down in our hunting and gathering past, I think that there is no difference in how love is felt, only the time element on how long it is sustained.

Merle

greenBlue, it's like you're speaking
out of my mouth there. I agree completely.

I think the best thing to realize if you ever find yourselves in this situation, realize that whoever it is you have feelings for is far from perfect, has issues of their own, and you don't want to gloss things over. I'm not saying displace your pain on them and look down on them, just keep it in mind that it wasn't meant to be and that no matter what you would have done right or wrong they just weren't right for you and vice a versa. Often enough as well you'll find whoever you had an interest in may have been the person you thought they were but they were still too wrapped up in one thing or another, weren't ready, and you can't see it as your problem.

Indeed so. That's pretty much what I've said both to myself and to others about my friend - I adore her, and I want her to be happy... it's the fact that I will never be the one who does that which hurts.