Do you miss someone right now?

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No, I don't need anyone anymore.

I miss talking to him. I want to talk everyday now. Maybe it's just to distract me from my anxiety but there's no one like him around me and i don't think i will find anyone like him where i live.

Okay so a couple of weeks ago I just found out my ex died.

We were touch and go for years, and I have mentioned her in this thread before. (About when I met her)

She was diabetic and I met her in hospital.

We would usually take turns dropping each other and the last time I was with her I still remember.

I don't really know how to feel, I've told one of my parents and talked it through here and there.

But just looking her up to check up on her and I found multiple obituaries and even a funeral video.

I have since tried to contact the family, to no avail.

I really don't know what to do, She was my first and only gf and I was very surprised that she grabbed my attention.

Because I was always pretty much in standoff mode and really didn't really to concentrate on getting a gf like my friends at the time.

Currently I've been on the up and up, trying to silence the voice in my head of her or anything related to her, I choose not to listen to some of the music she liked as I have pretty much been through the mourning period.

Regardless of how it turned out, She probably wanted this to happen.

She was in between study and work. She told me that she used to nick the papers for more pain meds.

I hope nothing too shady happened, as I have heard about her family from her herself and I do believe it.

Before the last news I heard she was doing some extras work on different kinds of sets.

The obituary mentioned she had a peaceful death. I can only hope so.

The point I'm at is, she was the first girl I let get close. She had her problems and so did I.

The thing that bothers me know is will I find someone similar to her?

I guess it's back to the drawing board, concentrate on myself, my health and my future.

I miss my last girlfriend but not so much for us being an item, but us being friends. She is married now. I actually introduced them in a way. I called it off as though I loved her but came to the point after much prayer that she wasn't the one for me. I felt God giving me a choice. I didn't want to tell her but I had to and when I was about to she said something like "Do you still love me?" And though I do, I couldn't answer. I want the best for her and the gentleman that she married was just right. I really know that he will take great care of her.
The problem is that I wanted to keep in touch, but being over sensitive to asking that she was ok was not the best thing for her and she asked me one day not to contact her. I have left her two or three messages since as we once met when a mutual friend arranged for them (They were not married then) to come back to this area so we all met up, but though it was lovely to meet them and my mutual friend (So there were four of us) and they later asked me to go to a restauraunt and pub with them I didn't want to go as I don't like pubs and rarely ever drink, and I wanted them two to really enjoy their holiday.

It is however, the friendship of both her and her husband I really miss. I don't expect regular contact, but I only heard they were married months after the event from a mutual friend. Maybe it is better I am not in touch. I do find it very difficult to know how often to say hello or not to someone to remain friendly. I mean. Either I contact too much or too little.

Sometimes I really blame myself as I think "I should never have gone out with her". But then how does one know if it will work or not without dating? She was my second girlfriend.

The thing is, do I risk dating again in future years? Maybe. No idea. But I absolutely hate upsetting people. So I don't know.

Always I miss my mother, who's been gone maybe 20 years. Nothing is valid unless I can show it to her. Look, Mom, Freddie Mercury! Nothing is real if I can't share it with Mom.

I miss my boyfriend & I miss my mom.

I do, I haven't adjusted to her passing very well. I'd rather if she was alive and hated me.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm missing talking to my crush.

Me too. It’s been the biggest reason I embarked on more reading and analysing my own self-diagnosis...

It seems the only people who have that all-forgiving capacity of Love for me are my parents and relatives and a handful of genuine friends.

In relationships it’s shown me how cold guys’ hearts can get. - Not all tho, it really depends on the person...

Right now I’m missing a recent romantic connection I had hoped was gonna work out. As with all of them eventually I got to a point of over-texting. Hyperfocusing and trying to go over and over what was said in other moments in the relationship.

I’m now starting to feel much more comforted just being a part of this forum actually.

I’m not sure if the guy who’s still in my heart is actually taking the time and space that I’m giving him now to chew on it, maybe read some stuff about Aspergers here and there - but I sure hope so. I hope he doesn’t give up on us (even tho already said it)...

I can understand that sense of overwhelming hopelessness some ppl must feel when they have been completely disillusioned from “falling in love” with someone on the Spectrum.

It’s not like we’re setting out to “trick” people but we are trying our best to balance between social norms (polite conversations, giving ppl space), and yet who we are and even potentially how intense we could get if u allowed us that freedom!

I think a lot of the tools ppl need is some form of awareness of healthy boundaries and how to communicate that with each other.

From what I’ve been reading on these forums it seems that it certainly helps to have a diagnosis and get some professional advice from there or even reading books with practical advice for some ways of coping.

Writing is oftentimes a form of stimming and I feel that way for sure in myself.

I guess if not this one guy I’m still sentimental about, eventually with the next one, by the time I start getting excited again, I’ll just try to remind myself to jump on here and shout it out to all of you!

Instead of coworkers or even some friends and relatives, and especially not my public social media profiles...! Lol - I think my Facebook friends tolerated my outbursts but just felt like “oh God she’s gonna get her heart broken again she’s getting too excited... *eye rolling!*”

I don’t know why writing helps so much and huge long paragraphs too, right?

Yet I feel it’s actually the most authentic form of communication for me, and my most authentic synethesizing of my life experiences.

It seems many Aspies do feel the same way. And at the same time, it’s not like I’m super keen on another Aspie for a potential partner in a relationship...

I’m not gonna say never but for now anyway, I actually have a sneaking suspicion the guy I still like is high functioning Autism...

He’s very very good at maths.

But then again he could simply be a neurotypical Guy who’s good at maths!

I get to a point in my writing then when I feel like “ok that’s enough self-indulgence for now, I’m done!” And I feel BETTER!

I really love writing and I feel like maybe I’ve finally found a more healthy outlet for it here...

Yes but we find time to see each other. We'll be in touch when we get the chance to discuss our anxiety more. I'm greatful beyond words to know this girl.

I know I'm alarmingly different & I know we can be good for each other. I sense a resolution coming.

Yes, and I'll have to keep missing for a little while.

Indescribable loss

ehugs for My favorite Aussie

Also, yeah - it seems that I myself am currently missing somehow. I don't know where my mind is at.

I miss myself.

Very much.