Why do girls want cocky, arrogant guys?

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I think that gets to the heart of the matter here Vertivert.

In most animal social structures (including Humans) there's always an Alpha Male (or Female in some situations, but that's another story).

The Alpha is the leader. Mufasa from The Lion King is an Alpha Male. Generally speaking Alphas are usually the strongest, the ones of the most resources, the ones most sought after by females (I'll get to the why behind that shortly). It's true they are rarely obnoxious about their power. They don't need to be; unless there's competition.
The obnoxious ones are usually the Beta males, not at the top, but have enough power to make the lower echelons feel it.

Females are attracted to Alphas because of their resource abundance (resources can be anything from access to plentiful food supply to money), and their peak physical, and the mere fact this he is Alpha. These are indicators of verility, and fertileness, which would make for an excellent mate in terms of generating offspring. (and yes Humans do still think like this)

Now... Enter the AS male. Because we don't follow social rules, we don't fit anywhere in the structure I laid out above. We're rogues. We're either considered on the bottom and we're picked on by the Beta's. Or we're considered competition and met with hostility from the Alpha. Very rarely we'll be ignored by such a social structure.

This makes it impossible for AS Males to procure themselves a mate, they have little to prove what they can offer...

GA

Like everyone else I've tried to talk sense into, you are completely missing the point. The trouble I have with most of the posts on this topic is that they confuse the actual alpha males with airheaded jocks. I have said this already- Most of the girls I know don't want a dumb 'sports hero', they want a guy who's cocky, arrogant, charismatic, somewhat frightening, and of course -expert at manipulating the emotions-.

I've recently just finished a retail course and to my surprise i ended up becoming pretty good mates with one lad i would'nt normally be friends with. He is the most confident arrogant, big headed, thinks he's gods gift to women, guy i've ever met, The few times i've gone out for a drink with him he just has the unique abilty to be able to chat up any good looking girl often getting a result. me on the other hand while my confidence with girls & people in general has improved greatly in recent years. I still at times come a cross as shy when chatting up girls. I think in some ways that's why i like/ sometimes envy the guy, He has the confidence i can only wish i had.

<chamosiee is confused>

I don't even like Alpha males. I always fall for shy/gentle/loner sorts usually. The only one who was externally confident turned out to be an as*hole. I do like men who present an intellectual challenge, though.

When I see the very confident kinds, it makes me very tempted to take them down a peg and prove their ignorance or stupidity....I don't know why, but that is my reaction.

On the other hand, a man can know what he is capable of and be decent, honest, and worth being around without being dominant...because I don't much like the dominant kinds. I always wind up being dominated, and I hate that.

i have dated some hideous men in the past, and i did it out of insecurity. iwas extremely insecure and dated whoever asked for it. when they treated me badly i felt i deserved it, so let them carry on. it is a difficult cycle to break out from. kinda caring guys, are kinda suspisious. if i found a kind caring guy, my questions would be "is he gay?" "what is he after?" and also as i have probles with sex id find it hard to believe a man could want a rship with no sex, ud have to be really considerate to manage that, or have a problem urself.

what id really like in a man is someone who is my intellectual equal. which is surprisingly tricky to find. the smart ones are usually too smart to wana get involved with people as screwed up as me.

I think the problem is here is that sex is overrated. I have always thought that. Youngsters today are constantly encouraged by the media etc, and the empathesis on boys especially is that the first person to "do it" is the most manly, and girls are drawn into believing that all boys are only interested in sex.

Perhaps I should have been born into an earlier age, when people weren't so obsessed about it, I don't know. I would say that sex IS an important part of a relationship, but certainly not THE most important part, and should only be done after the relationship has been going for some time and fairly stable.

Sorry if I'm repeating what was already said (I didn't feel like skimming through 12 pages), but I think most girls find nice guys to be "boring", and sometimes even a little "creepy". I know many girls say they want a "challenge" or to "tame" a guy, and a lot of then just feel these cocky types are more adventurous. I don't agree with this viewpoint, of course - I'm just saying what a lot of NT girls think.

wow, this thread is long... but i want to say a couple of things...

1) purely from their posts on this thread alone, and not even knowing what they look like, i think vetivert and SINsister are 2 of the sexiest women i know (altho i know vetivert is taken, and if i'm right in thinking SINsister lives in the USA, sorry, financial and political constraints mean meeting u would be pretty much impossible )...

2) there's something in one of vetivert's earlier posts (about honesty) that i want to discuss, but it has nothing to do with this thread topic, so i'd like to split off a thread about it...

3) i'm pleased to find out i'm not the only aspie male with long hair

4) what i would *really* like to find is a woman who would dominate me, and make the final decisions, in the sexual side of the relationship, but be (as near as possible to) equals in every other aspect (see the relationship between Shiva and Kali in Hindu mythology)... and who doesn't like arrogance, but *does* like the aspie-style no-bull statement of beliefs without apology, which many NTs mistake for (or falsely accuse of being) arrogance... and preferably who has the same attitude herself...

5)not really topic relevant, but re the post about men not allowing women not to shave their legs - i have to say that, illiberal as it probably seems, if i got together with a woman who did shave her legs, i'd have to persuade her not to very quickly, because one of my sensory things is *really* not liking the feel of recently shaved skin... legs au naturel for me please!

(hopes this post doesn't make me look like all i think about is sex...)

what a nice way to start the day - all those compliments (:oops: but also )

taken, shiva? you make me sound like a lot at an auction anyway, i'm not - the only "taking" was me taking myself away from the moron i was seeing briefly - yes, even i have mental aberrations at times

i luuurve kali, but i'm probably more yer shakti or parvati, to be honest, in the bedroom, anyway (why does everyone say that? what's wrong with the sitting room/bathroom/kitchen, etc? ).

and huzzah for "don't like the feeling of skin like a plastic bag"!

incidentlly, shiva - if you make it "sexiest and most intelligent women i know, i'll see you on the flirting thread

i'll definitely add "and most intelligent"... that would be intrinsic to my definition of "sexiest", anyway...

i can't flirt to save my life tho, not even on the internet... and if anyone has ever flirted with me, i have never been aware of it...

i thought u were aka melvis, and in a long term relationship with duncvis? in fact i thought u were co-founders of this site...

I'm with you Shiva, for a girl to be sexy to me, they'd need to be intelligent, or at least comfortable with their own intelligence.

GA

no, no! melvis and duncvis are married. i am morgvis, so part of the clan, as it were, but not currently enjoined to anyone. and alex and nuttdan are the founders of the site - dunc was an admin.

oh NO!! ! does this mean your heart is given to melvis and not really me?

There's always me Vetivert

GA

Yes, mine too. That's the sort of person I would want to marry if I ever do.

whats this, someone else after my Vivi, well I never!! !!

good grief! i'm old enough to be your MOTHER, ALL of you! have you SEEN my avatar?

still, nice to be appreciated.