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the-over-analyzed
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22 Jul 2007, 11:01 pm

Trebuchet wrote:
I've recently met someone, and I really like her. She's intelligent, funny, absolutely beautiful. There's just one thing, she's 17 and I'm in my 30's. Would it be wrong for me to date her? She's very mature, and I don't see what the difference one little year makes... I know it's illegal and everything, but....
It sounds like a really bad idea to me. I think you should try to keep it at least 21 and over. Even though she seems really mature to you doesn't mean that she is emotionally mature enough to date you. For example I have had some conversations with some 5 year olds who seem very mature. They are still 5. I really think it would not be fair to her. Date adults. Seriously I know you want to have a girlfriend or whatever but I think you should try to do some activities where you will meet women in their 20's. You should be looking for women now, not girls. Sorry if that is hard to handle but I don't want to sugar-coat it.



Trebuchet
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29 Jul 2007, 8:53 am

She turns 17 in a couple months.

In other news. She's pregnant.

Should I tell my wife?


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calandale
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29 Jul 2007, 9:19 am

Trebuchet wrote:
She turns 17 in a couple months.

In other news. She's pregnant.

Should I tell my wife?


Well, is it yours?

I guess it doesn't matter either way,
if you love her - yes. And her folks too.



Beenthere
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29 Jul 2007, 11:03 am

Quote:
She turns 17 in a couple months.

In other news. She's pregnant.

Should I tell my wife?


Left that last little bit out before didn't you. :wink:

Sure tell your wife...just remember to duck and cover.... and preferably know the location of the closest exit.

Good luck.


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MrSinister
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29 Jul 2007, 4:57 pm

Trebuchet wrote:
I've recently met someone, and I really like her. She's intelligent, funny, absolutely beautiful. There's just one thing, she's 17 and I'm in my 30's. Would it be wrong for me to date her? She's very mature, and I don't see what the difference one little year makes... I know it's illegal and everything, but....


If you were here in Blighty, I'd say it'd be fine in the legal sense, since 16 is the age of consent. However... the problem lies with the age gap. Sooner or later the differences in your outlook will become more and more apparent, I'd wager, and it's that which is the real issue.


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jkrane
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30 Jul 2007, 12:18 am

subatai_baadur wrote:
At my age, if I found a 30 year old who was willing to be with me(and was fairly intelligent), I'd take her in a second.


Ditto.



jaderabbit
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06 Aug 2007, 1:11 am

You've got to be kidding. You're married? Sorry. I find that inexcusable.

Since the discussion has grown beyond your issue...

The age difference isn't so important where genuine love is involved, but the age is. 23 and 33 is way different than 13 and 23.

Yasmine, all the older people attracted to younger ones aren't necessarily bad. It depends on the person. I've been in love with a woman much younger than myself for several years. It's the purest, most unconditional thing I've ever experienced.
As Autodidact mentioned earlier, it's so rare to find someone that you just can't walk away.



calandale
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06 Aug 2007, 1:13 am

jaderabbit wrote:
You've got to be kidding. You're married? Sorry. I find that inexcusable.


I agree. The only thing worse than marriage is
having children. :P



quiet
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10 Aug 2007, 5:42 pm

This map is interesting: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/e ... rldMap.png

I'm surprised that my state is 17, I thought it was like 45.



Zara
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10 Aug 2007, 9:04 pm

I was once was interested a girl who was 17. We worked together and got along pretty good, got to know her some.
Then I had the crazy idea of asking her out.

I did manage to get her number...
I called her one night...

and she rejected me.
I felt pretty bummed at the time, but looking back at it, I'm wondering what the hell was I thinking?
I think I was just lonely and didn't want to pass up the opportunity with a girl who seemed to like me.


So... I think it's unlikely to work out with you in your 30s and she being 17.


(actually I'd like to add an addendum to this. This girl left my work and some time later I saw her myspace page... and she listed her age as 15. 8O ... Yep, she lied about her age at work. I guess it was a good thing she rejected me... although i still wonder how she got away with that since you have to be 16 where I work...)



Kezzstar
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10 Aug 2007, 10:10 pm

Zara wrote:
I was once was interested a girl who was 17. We worked together and got along pretty good, got to know her some.
Then I had the crazy idea of asking her out.

I did manage to get her number...
I called her one night...

and she rejected me.
I felt pretty bummed at the time, but looking back at it, I'm wondering what the hell was I thinking?
I think I was just lonely and didn't want to pass up the opportunity with a girl who seemed to like me.


So... I think it's unlikely to work out with you in your 30s and she being 17.


(actually I'd like to add an addendum to this. This girl left my work and some time later I saw her myspace page... and she listed her age as 15. 8O ... Yep, she lied about her age at work. I guess it was a good thing she rejected me... although i still wonder how she got away with that since you have to be 16 where I work...)


owch. talk about a steel cap to the balls!

maturity comes with time. and there is a HUGE gap (in my case anyway) between 16 and 18. I was so stupid and immature two years ago. Now I have a job and moved out of home and I've been forced to mature a little bit more. Had I met my current bf two years ago, it would never have worked, because I was too silly to know what a relationship was.

But that's just me. Just like I bet I'm the only person who forgets about the existance of the spacebar.....


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michel
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14 Aug 2007, 11:05 am

Ok, wait a minute, the difference in age, substantial as it may be, is not the only matter of importance here. Uhm, you're married... and she's pregnant??? How much more trouble do you want to get yourself into?
Here's the deal: if a relationship doesn't enhance your life, then by definition, you're better without it. I just hope the child isn't yours, or that she wants an abortion. What girl wants a child out of wedlock at seventeen, when she's still a child herself? Why would you want to create that kind of total chaos around you?



calandale
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14 Aug 2007, 11:16 am

Perhaps he can adopt her? :P



michel
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14 Aug 2007, 12:04 pm

Adopt her? Oh yeah, that'll go over well with the wife. "Honey, I found this on my way home, can we keep her, pretty please?" :lol:



calandale
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14 Aug 2007, 12:20 pm

michel wrote:
Adopt her? Oh yeah, that'll go over well with the wife. "Honey, I found this on my way home, can we keep her, pretty please?" :lol:


I know that I would have put it
in just that manner.



Pandora
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15 Aug 2007, 8:58 am

Trebuchet wrote:
She turns 17 in a couple months.

In other news. She's pregnant.

Should I tell my wife?
Has she had the pregnancy confirmed by a doctor? Better not to tell your wife just yet. You need to find out what this girl wants to do about the baby and decide if you want to stay with your wife or with her. Have you even told your young girlfriend about your wife or was that a little surprise you were going to spring on her at some later time? Oh my, you've got yourself into a fine mess here, no joking.


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