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314pe
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05 Nov 2019, 6:13 am

sly279 wrote:

But as is the money is now required so I’m stuck working a job that’s solely killing me and driving me to meltdown. Mean the job causes most nts to go crazy and quit. Most work for few months year max and move onl it’s so bad even old timers have quit. Turnovers crazy I hardly know anyone, and by time I get use to them they gone.

Then it is not surprising that you get exhausted working even part time. You need to find a better job.

314pe
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05 Nov 2019, 6:46 am

Sabreclaw wrote:

There's options, but they take work and you have to force yourself to do them.

Yes, there is, but, I think, depression is making it really hard for sly to see any options.

BTDT
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05 Nov 2019, 8:54 am

Women of your political bent in child bearing age need to have a partner with sufficient income to support pregnancy. You can't rely on laws to keep job. You need to look at it from their point of view.

kraftiekortie
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05 Nov 2019, 9:15 am

I wish Sly could teach me how to shave so I don’t feel stinginess and get nicks and cuts as a result.

SecretOpossumCabal
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05 Nov 2019, 9:22 am

magz wrote:

SecretOpossumCabal wrote:

magz wrote:

So, in short: do you believe everyone should sacrifice themself and force themself to love someone they find unattractive?

The conundrum is that we're all on a collision course with becoming unattractive, for the ladies every day the passes is another crack on the face, and for the men every day that passes is another which will wear down the edge we have, the lady will lose the love she gained based on her glamour, the man will lose the love he gained based on his works.

Love isn't about force, you can't force yourself to love a thing, but the very nature of love is sacrifice, to love a thing despite not having any reason to love it. This requires compassion, mercy, pity, all the virtues combined into one heart. Like Chesterton says this is really the only way out of this trap; this is how couples will learn to keep on loving each other into old age, otherwise the trap is sprung and the vanity exposed. We can't escape from time.

In the end, if you want to escape this existential trap, you have to learn to love and not lust, but humans thus far have demonstrated that they're not capable of that, if it was love that was properly given in this world it would be a paradise, but it's not. It's a sad horrible place full of bastard children born out of lust, each generation repeating the same mistakes of their parents.

Men that love money are rewarded with this world, they gain a piece of this world, but this world passes away. This is what I try to tell men like sly, who have been given every sign under the sun that they need to fly away and aim for the next world.

And through him I say that to everyone else as well; this world is no good. It's done, it's time to move on for a better planet.

If humanity is so bad and shallow, how come I know plenty of couples living with each other way into old age?
Not some self sacrificing saints, no way, just regular people.

They might seem 'regular' but the fact that they've stayed together for so long means they're irregular. Which more or less proves my point, it's those ancient long-time couples that find a relationship on a foundation of love, not lust. They married young and didn't sleep around, and young couples are hardly ever rich.

SecretOpossumCabal
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05 Nov 2019, 9:26 am

Sabreclaw wrote:

I don't know what to say to you, Sly. Every possible path you can take you find a road-block to put in front of. The life you have right now isn't working for you, but you have to make sacrifices to move forwards. If you've been able to hold down a job that most people rage-quit after a few months then that's something on your resume that's bound to impress somebody.

The brutal fact of the matter is almost no woman wants to date a guy who earns peanuts, has no savings, no assets of value, no social life, has no future and hides behind disability pension. Especially a guy who supports the right-wing, because they're the last people on Earth who are out to help the working-class and the disabled. You need to change something in your life, and that's gonna require personal sacrifice. Maybe you need to get out of your comfort zone and socialize more. Maybe you need to move somewhere and find a different job. Maybe you need to take a temporary financial hit and push yourself off the disability pension. Maybe you need to hit the gym and become super hot. But you have to do something, because you're not content, and you're not in a particularly desirable position right now.

There's options, but they take work and you have to force yourself to do them.

As I said before, he's caught in an existential trap; if he had money in his heart he would have money. Sly is actually among the few normal people in this world.

It's normal to not have money in your heart, but that means you can't pursue it with a fire like all the world does.

The whole world has money in their hearts, and they procure relationships based on that, now if you don't have it in your heart it's hard to pursue; we don't live for money, money is supposed to serve us but we're not supposed to serve money. This world is all about serving money and loving money.

That is the trap that he can't escape out of, which is why the only way out is to aim for a different planet, and Christianity is all about that.

It's a spiritual problem that requires a spiritual answer.

magz
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05 Nov 2019, 9:52 am

SecretOpossumCabal wrote:

Are we living in two different worlds or something?
Of course people marry when they are not rich and of course most of them don't sleep around - some do and later decide not to.
Regular people seem a lot more reasonable that Hollywood fairy tales.

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Fnord
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05 Nov 2019, 10:03 am

magz wrote:

SecretOpossumCabal wrote:

Are we living in two different worlds or something? Of course people marry when they are not rich and of course most of them don't sleep around - some do and later decide not to. Regular people seem a lot more reasonable that Hollywood fairy tales.

And there is nothing at all mystical about it, either.

magz
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05 Nov 2019, 10:12 am

Fnord wrote:

magz wrote:

SecretOpossumCabal wrote:

Are we living in two different worlds or something? Of course people marry when they are not rich and of course most of them don't sleep around - some do and later decide not to. Regular people seem a lot more reasonable that Hollywood fairy tales.

And there is nothing at all mystical about it, either.

You can be mystical about it if it resonates with you that way but it's not mandatory for a healthy marriage.

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Fnord
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05 Nov 2019, 10:25 am

magz wrote:

Fnord wrote:

magz wrote:

SecretOpossumCabal wrote:

Are we living in two different worlds or something? Of course people marry when they are not rich and of course most of them don't sleep around - some do and later decide not to. Regular people seem a lot more reasonable that Hollywood fairy tales.

And there is nothing at all mystical about it, either.

You can be mystical about it if it resonates with you that way but it's not mandatory for a healthy marriage.

Certainly. "Mystical" and "Spiritual" experiences in a relationship are merely incidental to that relationship, and are not required for a healthy relationship, either.

SecretOpossumCabal
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05 Nov 2019, 10:30 am

magz wrote:

SecretOpossumCabal wrote:

Most do sleep around, and most people marry for riches, the state of this world is proof of that, and the children being broken to repeat the errors of their parents is also proof of that. Couples that stay together were the ones that married young in their poverty, and they stayed together, these couples are no longer the norm. They're not 'regular' people, but extraordinary, though what they are now was once ordinary.

Marrying young out of love is deeper and more original than the hollywood fairy tales, as it existed before Hollywood, and it's how marriage originally was.

And we do live in two different worlds, one passes away, but the other will last. Which is among the things I've been saying, this world is no good, but the next one will last forever. What is vain will pass away, but the truth will stand forever.

For I lift up my hand to heaven, and say, I live for ever. Deuteronomy 32:40

Fnord wrote:

magz wrote:

SecretOpossumCabal wrote:

Are we living in two different worlds or something? Of course people marry when they are not rich and of course most of them don't sleep around - some do and later decide not to. Regular people seem a lot more reasonable that Hollywood fairy tales.

And there is nothing at all mystical about it, either.

The very nature of love is mystical in nature, but the fact that it's not to some shows how far divorced it is from this world, truly if you want that kind of love, you shall have it, but so shall you also lose it. Nobody sets out a gallon of milk from the fridge thinking that it will last unspoiled, but humans seem to do it all the time and with the most important things. You say that it's 'healthy', but I say that it will become unhealthy just as your body is going to become unhealthy.

In the end, what comes by worldly matters is going to perish by worldly matters. Christ repeatedly warned humankind of this foolishness but humans don't seem to want to listen.

Fnord
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05 Nov 2019, 10:35 am

SecretOpossumCabal wrote:

... The very nature of love is mystical in nature...

No, it's biochemical -- hormones, endorphins, and other neurochemicals produced as reactions to sensory stimuli for the sole purpose of encouraging people to perpetuate the human species.

Only this, and nothing more.

kraftiekortie
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05 Nov 2019, 10:36 am

It FEELS mystical to some.

It doesn't feel mystical to me----it feels good, though.

SharonB
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05 Nov 2019, 11:13 am

Fnord wrote:

SecretOpossumCabal wrote:

... The very nature of love is mystical in nature...

Fnord, what you say may be true, but it is a bit of a downer. Studies show that happiness is correlated to self-delusion (when in moderation). As always a good balance. I am hypersensitive in general and that includes to hormones, so once a month a get that warm, loving feeling. I like the idea of saying it's "mystical" even if I know better. My now-husband was lucky he was nearby and willing to dance in one of those moments. Maybe all Sly has to do is find an indicator of cyclic ---oh, wait - there is one: pupil size (but requires looking at a woman's eyes - for scientific purposes of course), although if he's attracted to women in menopause, I don't know about that yet. Soon.

Fnord
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05 Nov 2019, 11:21 am

SharonB wrote:

Fnord wrote:

SecretOpossumCabal wrote:

... The very nature of love is mystical in nature...

Fnord, what you say may be true, but it is a bit of a downer...

I know. If everyone accepted the facts about attraction and reproduction, the candy, flower, and greeting-card industries would soon go broke, and the human species would eventually go extinct (IMHO).

It was difficult as a single man to believe that "romance" was anything more than manipulating the other person to acquire their exclusive attention within the context of unspoken negotiations regarding who would initiate the mating process.

But somehow I met the perfect woman and married her anyway.

magz
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05 Nov 2019, 11:44 am

Fnord wrote:

SharonB wrote:

Fnord wrote:

SecretOpossumCabal wrote:

... The very nature of love is mystical in nature...

Fnord, what you say may be true, but it is a bit of a downer...

I'm sure there is more to it than pheromones, even on the reductionist, materialistic point of view.
The fact that there is someone you can count on to be there for you. The direction your life takes when it becomes the life together. Every conflict resolved and every obstacle crossed that make you grow closer to each other.
I don't care for postcards and flowers when the right bouquet is an umbrella in the rain and warm hug in cold.

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