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Do women simply just dislike Aspie men?

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hurtloam
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17 May 2020, 1:18 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
People like Rick are NOT precluded from having romantic success.

I hope Rick is able to sing a different tune a year or two from now—or even sooner.


I don't know if telling people with no hope that they will have success is a good idea.

I always had the idea that one day I would meet someone and it never happened. My belief that I would definitely meet someone wasn't good for me.

I think we should be more accepting and supportive of the idea of people not finding a partner.

It should be just as normal as having a partner.

I think it's better to nourish and encourage other more realistic and accessible passions.

Life is more than this romance crap.



rick42
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17 May 2020, 1:32 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
People like Rick are NOT precluded from having romantic success.

I hope Rick is able to sing a different tune a year or two from now—or even sooner.



Thanks for not giving up on me Kraftiekortie. You seem to be a great guy, and a understanding guy.However,I have to be 100% real about myself.It's game over for men like me(not that I ever had a chance in the first place).Never got along with females at all.Never had a girlfriend,or hell even a female friend for that matter.My poor Treatment with girls/women started all the way back in the 1st grade in Elementary School,before some people here were even born.I had a job until I was laid off thanks to coronavirus. I'm not fat or ugly in the face.I have plenty of hobbies/interest.Despite of all that,I get nothing,but s**t from females.I haven't converse with a female at all outside of family in the last 3 years,often because they ignore me. At some point, just gotta realize when it's time to give up on dating and women entirely.I'm still going to rant about my poor experiences with girls/women,but far as ever talking/ conversing with them again,I'm done.



Last edited by rick42 on 17 May 2020, 1:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

rick42
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17 May 2020, 1:35 pm

hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
People like Rick are NOT precluded from having romantic success.

I hope Rick is able to sing a different tune a year or two from now—or even sooner.


I don't know if telling people with no hope that they will have success is a good idea.

I always had the idea that one day I would meet someone and it never happened. My belief that I would definitely meet someone wasn't good for me.

I think we should be more accepting and supportive of the idea of people not finding a partner.

It should be just as normal as having a partner.

I think it's better to nourish and encourage other more realistic and accessible passions.

Life is more than this romance crap.



I agree with both you and TuskenR. I'm so tired of the mistreatment that I get from the opposite sex.



Last edited by rick42 on 17 May 2020, 1:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

dw.731
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17 May 2020, 1:42 pm

NT female here. I adored my ASD (20) boyfriend. I wish he would come back. He kept getting overwhelmed any time remotely I tried to talk about if there was a disagreement or he would disappear and not communicate he was disappearing... or if I felt hurt. The one time he did something inappropriate (used self sexual pleasure for coping) while I was texting him about some serious issues...

Any time since this year if I brought up something as calmly as I could to discuss, he would resort to "maybe it would be best if we broke up". Ultimately he ended it by not breaking up with me directly... 10 days later saying he felt like he made a huge mistake breaking it off... then ghosted me completely. Talk about giving abandonment issues.

Anyway. I loved his special interests. I learned his routines and I knew when to expect him to disappear (about 75% of the time). I loved his quirks, and I admired his truthfulness, although I would get frustrated at him skirting around issues sometimes, as it would seem deceptive. I embraced him for who he was. We were friends beforehand, although I felt an instant connection to him. Where he had a low self esteem, I admired what he hated about himself. We were together for almost a year.

Bottom line: We are out there. I thought the world of him.



kraftiekortie
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17 May 2020, 2:17 pm

I didn’t say he will have success.

I said that he is not PRECLUDED FROM HAVING success.

You never know what will happen a year from now, or even a few minutes from now.



sly279
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17 May 2020, 3:10 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
People like Rick are NOT precluded from having romantic success.

I hope Rick is able to sing a different tune a year or two from now—or even sooner.

Probably not though. Hasn’t changed for me after many years.
And it’s too late now.


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TuskenR
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17 May 2020, 3:10 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
TuskenR wrote:
You seem well on your way to acceptance. Don't judge yourself with someone else yardstick ( I think that's the saying ) , it's not fair on yourself. And of course you are free to rant as much as you want , sometimes you just have to let it out.


Welcome to WP, TuskenR.

Good advice -- I agree with you.


Thanks for the welcome.


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sly279
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17 May 2020, 3:13 pm

dw.731 wrote:
NT female here. I adored my ASD (20) boyfriend. I wish he would come back. He kept getting overwhelmed any time remotely I tried to talk about if there was a disagreement or he would disappear and not communicate he was disappearing... or if I felt hurt. The one time he did something inappropriate (used self sexual pleasure for coping) while I was texting him about some serious issues...

Any time since this year if I brought up something as calmly as I could to discuss, he would resort to "maybe it would be best if we broke up". Ultimately he ended it by not breaking up with me directly... 10 days later saying he felt like he made a huge mistake breaking it off... then ghosted me completely. Talk about giving abandonment issues.

Anyway. I loved his special interests. I learned his routines and I knew when to expect him to disappear (about 75% of the time). I loved his quirks, and I admired his truthfulness, although I would get frustrated at him skirting around issues sometimes, as it would seem deceptive. I embraced him for who he was. We were friends beforehand, although I felt an instant connection to him. Where he had a low self esteem, I admired what he hated about himself. We were together for almost a year.

Bottom line: We are out there. I thought the world of him.


Did he have a job?


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dw.731
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17 May 2020, 3:21 pm

He started his first job during the holiday season last year. November/December-ish. Ghosting could not be that, though... as he still shows pretty active in apps like Instagram. He just doesn't talk to me anymore after he said he felt like he made a huge mistake. To my NT mind, that means he must have lost interest.

sly279 wrote:
dw.731 wrote:
NT female here. I adored my ASD (20) boyfriend. I wish he would come back. He kept getting overwhelmed any time remotely I tried to talk about if there was a disagreement or he would disappear and not communicate he was disappearing... or if I felt hurt. The one time he did something inappropriate (used self sexual pleasure for coping) while I was texting him about some serious issues...

Any time since this year if I brought up something as calmly as I could to discuss, he would resort to "maybe it would be best if we broke up". Ultimately he ended it by not breaking up with me directly... 10 days later saying he felt like he made a huge mistake breaking it off... then ghosted me completely. Talk about giving abandonment issues.

Anyway. I loved his special interests. I learned his routines and I knew when to expect him to disappear (about 75% of the time). I loved his quirks, and I admired his truthfulness, although I would get frustrated at him skirting around issues sometimes, as it would seem deceptive. I embraced him for who he was. We were friends beforehand, although I felt an instant connection to him. Where he had a low self esteem, I admired what he hated about himself. We were together for almost a year.

Bottom line: We are out there. I thought the world of him.


Did he have a job?



sly279
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17 May 2020, 4:12 pm

dw.731 wrote:
He started his first job during the holiday season last year. November/December-ish. Ghosting could not be that, though... as he still shows pretty active in apps like Instagram. He just doesn't talk to me anymore after he said he felt like he made a huge mistake. To my NT mind, that means he must have lost interest.

sly279 wrote:
dw.731 wrote:
NT female here. I adored my ASD (20) boyfriend. I wish he would come back. He kept getting overwhelmed any time remotely I tried to talk about if there was a disagreement or he would disappear and not communicate he was disappearing... or if I felt hurt. The one time he did something inappropriate (used self sexual pleasure for coping) while I was texting him about some serious issues...

Any time since this year if I brought up something as calmly as I could to discuss, he would resort to "maybe it would be best if we broke up". Ultimately he ended it by not breaking up with me directly... 10 days later saying he felt like he made a huge mistake breaking it off... then ghosted me completely. Talk about giving abandonment issues.

Anyway. I loved his special interests. I learned his routines and I knew when to expect him to disappear (about 75% of the time). I loved his quirks, and I admired his truthfulness, although I would get frustrated at him skirting around issues sometimes, as it would seem deceptive. I embraced him for who he was. We were friends beforehand, although I felt an instant connection to him. Where he had a low self esteem, I admired what he hated about himself. We were together for almost a year.

Bottom line: We are out there. I thought the world of him.


Did he have a job?


I was meaning is women won’t even date me cause I lack a real job, so I’m not a real man.
Did you date him before or after he had a job?


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dw.731
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17 May 2020, 4:23 pm

I said yes to being his girlfriend before he had his first job. He works retail now.

sly279 wrote:
dw.731 wrote:
He started his first job during the holiday season last year. November/December-ish. Ghosting could not be that, though... as he still shows pretty active in apps like Instagram. He just doesn't talk to me anymore after he said he felt like he made a huge mistake. To my NT mind, that means he must have lost interest.

sly279 wrote:
dw.731 wrote:
NT female here. I adored my ASD (20) boyfriend. I wish he would come back. He kept getting overwhelmed any time remotely I tried to talk about if there was a disagreement or he would disappear and not communicate he was disappearing... or if I felt hurt. The one time he did something inappropriate (used self sexual pleasure for coping) while I was texting him about some serious issues...

Any time since this year if I brought up something as calmly as I could to discuss, he would resort to "maybe it would be best if we broke up". Ultimately he ended it by not breaking up with me directly... 10 days later saying he felt like he made a huge mistake breaking it off... then ghosted me completely. Talk about giving abandonment issues.

Anyway. I loved his special interests. I learned his routines and I knew when to expect him to disappear (about 75% of the time). I loved his quirks, and I admired his truthfulness, although I would get frustrated at him skirting around issues sometimes, as it would seem deceptive. I embraced him for who he was. We were friends beforehand, although I felt an instant connection to him. Where he had a low self esteem, I admired what he hated about himself. We were together for almost a year.

Bottom line: We are out there. I thought the world of him.


Did he have a job?


I was meaning is women won’t even date me cause I lack a real job, so I’m not a real man.
Did you date him before or after he had a job?



rick42
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17 May 2020, 4:38 pm

sly279 wrote:
dw.731 wrote:
He started his first job during the holiday season last year. November/December-ish. Ghosting could not be that, though... as he still shows pretty active in apps like Instagram. He just doesn't talk to me anymore after he said he felt like he made a huge mistake. To my NT mind, that means he must have lost interest.

sly279 wrote:
dw.731 wrote:
NT female here. I adored my ASD (20) boyfriend. I wish he would come back. He kept getting overwhelmed any time remotely I tried to talk about if there was a disagreement or he would disappear and not communicate he was disappearing... or if I felt hurt. The one time he did something inappropriate (used self sexual pleasure for coping) while I was texting him about some serious issues...

Any time since this year if I brought up something as calmly as I could to discuss, he would resort to "maybe it would be best if we broke up". Ultimately he ended it by not breaking up with me directly... 10 days later saying he felt like he made a huge mistake breaking it off... then ghosted me completely. Talk about giving abandonment issues.

Anyway. I loved his special interests. I learned his routines and I knew when to expect him to disappear (about 75% of the time). I loved his quirks, and I admired his truthfulness, although I would get frustrated at him skirting around issues sometimes, as it would seem deceptive. I embraced him for who he was. We were friends beforehand, although I felt an instant connection to him. Where he had a low self esteem, I admired what he hated about himself. We were together for almost a year.

Bottom line: We are out there. I thought the world of him.


Did he have a job?


I was meaning is women won’t even date me cause I lack a real job, so I’m not a real man.
Did you date him before or after he had a job?


I don't think the main reason why you don't dates is because you don't have a "real job".I had a "real job" for a lot of my life until I got laid off and I can't even remember a time when female ever wanted to hang out with me at all,but meanwhile,I seen and know dudes who work for minimum wage still got girlfriends.I think the real reason might be why you can't get dates is you're overweight. Atleast be happy you're not in my situation. Atleast you did date before and doesn't seem like women truly dislike or even hate you due to being weird. I never even got females to even hang out with me at all,let alone date me.Try to slim down and you have hope of find someone.For myself on the other hand,it's game over no matter what I do.



Last edited by rick42 on 17 May 2020, 4:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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17 May 2020, 4:42 pm

Sly is pretty tall, and not severely overweight.

He’s about as overweight as I am. I’m 5 foot 5 and 180 pounds. I don’t consider myself severely overweight.



sly279
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17 May 2020, 5:06 pm

rick42 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
dw.731 wrote:
He started his first job during the holiday season last year. November/December-ish. Ghosting could not be that, though... as he still shows pretty active in apps like Instagram. He just doesn't talk to me anymore after he said he felt like he made a huge mistake. To my NT mind, that means he must have lost interest.

sly279 wrote:
dw.731 wrote:
NT female here. I adored my ASD (20) boyfriend. I wish he would come back. He kept getting overwhelmed any time remotely I tried to talk about if there was a disagreement or he would disappear and not communicate he was disappearing... or if I felt hurt. The one time he did something inappropriate (used self sexual pleasure for coping) while I was texting him about some serious issues...

Any time since this year if I brought up something as calmly as I could to discuss, he would resort to "maybe it would be best if we broke up". Ultimately he ended it by not breaking up with me directly... 10 days later saying he felt like he made a huge mistake breaking it off... then ghosted me completely. Talk about giving abandonment issues.

Anyway. I loved his special interests. I learned his routines and I knew when to expect him to disappear (about 75% of the time). I loved his quirks, and I admired his truthfulness, although I would get frustrated at him skirting around issues sometimes, as it would seem deceptive. I embraced him for who he was. We were friends beforehand, although I felt an instant connection to him. Where he had a low self esteem, I admired what he hated about himself. We were together for almost a year.

Bottom line: We are out there. I thought the world of him.


Did he have a job?


I was meaning is women won’t even date me cause I lack a real job, so I’m not a real man.
Did you date him before or after he had a job?


I don't think the main reason why you don't dates is because you don't have a "real job".I had a "real job" for a lot of my life until I got laid off and I can't even remember a time when female ever wanted to hang out with me at all,but meanwhile,I seen and know dudes who work for minimum wage still got girlfriends.I think the real reason might be why you can't get dates is you're overweight. Atleast be happy you're not in my situation. Atleast you did date before and doesn't seem like women truly dislike or even hate you due to being weird. I never even got females to even hang out with me at all,let alone date me.Try to slim down and you have hope of find someone.For myself on the other hand,it's game over no matter what I do.


Being I have women show interest in me until they find out my jobs and tell me it’s why they won’t date me. I’d bet it’s the lack of a real job.
The fact is money is what makes most relationships.
I will never own another car, I will never own a house. I will never take vacations around the world. Most women want that, so they want a guy who can have that.


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sly279
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17 May 2020, 5:09 pm

dw.731 wrote:
I said yes to being his girlfriend before he had his first job. He works retail now.

sly279 wrote:
dw.731 wrote:
He started his first job during the holiday season last year. November/December-ish. Ghosting could not be that, though... as he still shows pretty active in apps like Instagram. He just doesn't talk to me anymore after he said he felt like he made a huge mistake. To my NT mind, that means he must have lost interest.

sly279 wrote:
dw.731 wrote:
NT female here. I adored my ASD (20) boyfriend. I wish he would come back. He kept getting overwhelmed any time remotely I tried to talk about if there was a disagreement or he would disappear and not communicate he was disappearing... or if I felt hurt. The one time he did something inappropriate (used self sexual pleasure for coping) while I was texting him about some serious issues...

Any time since this year if I brought up something as calmly as I could to discuss, he would resort to "maybe it would be best if we broke up". Ultimately he ended it by not breaking up with me directly... 10 days later saying he felt like he made a huge mistake breaking it off... then ghosted me completely. Talk about giving abandonment issues.

Anyway. I loved his special interests. I learned his routines and I knew when to expect him to disappear (about 75% of the time). I loved his quirks, and I admired his truthfulness, although I would get frustrated at him skirting around issues sometimes, as it would seem deceptive. I embraced him for who he was. We were friends beforehand, although I felt an instant connection to him. Where he had a low self esteem, I admired what he hated about himself. We were together for almost a year.

Bottom line: We are out there. I thought the world of him.


Did he have a job?


I was meaning is women won’t even date me cause I lack a real job, so I’m not a real man.
Did you date him before or after he had a job?


Why not date a guy with real job and future?


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kraftiekortie
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17 May 2020, 5:09 pm

I’m just a clerk, just like you’re a clerk.

I think I have a “real job.”

Most people are smart enough to know that any job is a “real job.”

Especially in this era of COVID.