17 May 2020, 8:11 pm
kraftiekortie wrote:
I’m just a clerk, just like you’re a clerk.
I think I have a “real job.”
Most people are smart enough to know that any job is a “real job.”
Especially in this era of COVID.
I think I have a “real job.”
Most people are smart enough to know that any job is a “real job.”
Especially in this era of COVID.
But watch your back.
There may be a better offering than you, down the line.
dw.731 wrote:
I think that is a very silly question. For now it is a real job, could still continue to be a real job... and he has a future. Who are any of us to judge another.
<Pepe tentatively raises his paw>
dw.731 wrote:
This. I work retail as an assistant manager as well... never judge some one.
But assessing the situation is valid.
Psychologists and psychiatrists, well, that is their job, literally.
17 May 2020, 8:28 pm
hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
People like Rick are NOT precluded from having romantic success.
I hope Rick is able to sing a different tune a year or two from now—or even sooner.
I hope Rick is able to sing a different tune a year or two from now—or even sooner.
I don't know if telling people with no hope that they will have success is a good idea.
I always had the idea that one day I would meet someone and it never happened. My belief that I would definitely meet someone wasn't good for me.
I think we should be more accepting and supportive of the idea of people not finding a partner.
It should be just as normal as having a partner.
I think it's better to nourish and encourage other more realistic and accessible passions.
Life is more than this romance crap.
WOW!
Total agreement.
I'm glad to see you have worked out your previous issues. (hugz)
While it is a case of "Giving it a try" to work out if a sig-other-rel is for "you",
People "need" to understand that what we are dealing with here is an arbitrary social paradigm.
And they also "need" to understand that engaging in a coupling relationship is a massive trade-off, especially for those on the spectrum.
To all:
"Read my lips": It is a valid and satisfying lifestyle to remain single, for some/many.
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 29,570
Location: Right over your left shoulder
17 May 2020, 8:32 pm
rick42 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
rick42 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
rick42 wrote:
Cyberdad doesn't know how it's like to go a entire lifetime without a single woman being interested in him,but he's telling you,me,along with other aspie men that we continue to try to meet women,that it's our fault for why women dislike us and why meeting women in real life is somehow going to make our situation better,which will not in reality.
I find it odd that an NT, especially one who has no training in psychology, is giving advice to those on the spectrum.
Rather, he should ask questions to try an understand our valid situation and gain enlightenment.
Aspie males have difficultly with relating to NT women.
NT women are usually interested in NT males.
Nature at work.
Natural selection is a biatch.
Not rocket surgery.
I'm starting to agree.Natural selection is probably at work and natural selection is pretty much telling me that I will be alone forever,and there's nothing that I can do about it.You're also correct that NT females are interested in only non aspie males.Even aspie females(who make up a very small % of the population anyway) seem to be only interested in non aspie males as well.
Oh for crying out loud, don't listen to him, there's hundreds of WP members who are married or dating NTs, we aren't the bogey here.
At some point you might have to let people who insist on choosing failure to just stew in their own negativity and self-fulfilling prophecies while everyone else achieves some level of success around them. If they'd like to pull themselves out of the misery stew and try again later we'll still be here to offer a hand but until they make that decision for themselves there's no point waiting leaned over with your hand out.
You seem to be blaming men who are black pilled/incels for their situations with women.There's a difference between being overly "negative"/" having self fulling prophecies" and being realistic.Lets real here. Some men are just doomed to be alone forever no matter what they do.Some males have even been treated poorly by females before they even started becoming interested in dating. For example,I have treated poorly by females ever since 1st Grade when I was 6 years old,and been poorly by females ever since.That's a long f*****g time ago,before some people here were even born.That's NOT something that easily be shaken off.So if people like me can't be "helped",then how would you feel if you been rejected by every single female throughout your entire life? Personally,I really close to giving up women,and can you blame me based on my situation and past experiences?
You're right, I do believe the attitude you've voluntarily adopted explains most of your struggles and yes I do believe you have to take responsibility for correcting your attitude before you're likely to have any success.
Some men might be more likely to struggle, but no one is guaranteed to be doomed 100%. Blaming everyone else for the attitude that you've adopted is a type of immaturity that should be disqualifying because it makes it clear that the person expressing it isn't yet capable of taking responsibility for their choices, actions and outcomes resulting from. Until you choose to improve your attitude I don't believe you can be helped and rather than exhaust myself trying to help others improve their chances I'd rather go back to worrying about improving my outcomes. Best of luck.
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,077
Location: Adelaide, Australia
17 May 2020, 8:51 pm
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,077
Location: Adelaide, Australia
17 May 2020, 8:54 pm
17 May 2020, 8:58 pm
Assessing the situation can be valid, but judging a situation never is. No one except the parties in participation know a situations it's and outs, nor does any one know the progress that can be made or the growth that can come with a particular situation.
Pepe wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I’m just a clerk, just like you’re a clerk.
I think I have a “real job.”
Most people are smart enough to know that any job is a “real job.”
Especially in this era of COVID.
I think I have a “real job.”
Most people are smart enough to know that any job is a “real job.”
Especially in this era of COVID.
But watch your back.
There may be a better offering than you, down the line.
dw.731 wrote:
I think that is a very silly question. For now it is a real job, could still continue to be a real job... and he has a future. Who are any of us to judge another.
<Pepe tentatively raises his paw>
dw.731 wrote:
This. I work retail as an assistant manager as well... never judge some one.
But assessing the situation is valid.
Psychologists and psychiatrists, well, that is their job, literally.
18 May 2020, 12:01 am
dw.731 wrote:
Assessing the situation can be valid, but judging a situation never is. No one except the parties in participation know a situations it's and outs, nor does any one know the progress that can be made or the growth that can come with a particular situation.
In other words,
It is a question of Attitude.
Interestingly, "Judges", in a court of law, actually "judge",
But from an objective POV.
There is a lot of semantics involved, here.
I enjoy semantic analysis, btw.
You have been warned.
But I take your point.
There is no need for a sanctimonious/supercilious/"judgemental" attitude.
That is the context you are accurately/validly referring to.
BTW,
It is the job of a judge, in a court of law, to determine the "a situations in's and outs".
But you don't have to be a court official to engage in this investigative, errr, investigation.
Sorry,
I'm high on caffeine,
Hence this "interesting" post of mine.
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 29,570
Location: Right over your left shoulder
18 May 2020, 12:06 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,088
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
18 May 2020, 12:06 am
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 29,570
Location: Right over your left shoulder
18 May 2020, 12:17 am
18 May 2020, 12:33 am
funeralxempire wrote:
rick42 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
rick42 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
rick42 wrote:
Cyberdad doesn't know how it's like to go a entire lifetime without a single woman being interested in him,but he's telling you,me,along with other aspie men that we continue to try to meet women,that it's our fault for why women dislike us and why meeting women in real life is somehow going to make our situation better,which will not in reality.
I find it odd that an NT, especially one who has no training in psychology, is giving advice to those on the spectrum.
Rather, he should ask questions to try an understand our valid situation and gain enlightenment.
Aspie males have difficultly with relating to NT women.
NT women are usually interested in NT males.
Nature at work.
Natural selection is a biatch.
Not rocket surgery.
I'm starting to agree.Natural selection is probably at work and natural selection is pretty much telling me that I will be alone forever,and there's nothing that I can do about it.You're also correct that NT females are interested in only non aspie males.Even aspie females(who make up a very small % of the population anyway) seem to be only interested in non aspie males as well.
Oh for crying out loud, don't listen to him, there's hundreds of WP members who are married or dating NTs, we aren't the bogey here.
At some point you might have to let people who insist on choosing failure to just stew in their own negativity and self-fulfilling prophecies while everyone else achieves some level of success around them. If they'd like to pull themselves out of the misery stew and try again later we'll still be here to offer a hand but until they make that decision for themselves there's no point waiting leaned over with your hand out.
You seem to be blaming men who are black pilled/incels for their situations with women.There's a difference between being overly "negative"/" having self fulling prophecies" and being realistic.Lets real here. Some men are just doomed to be alone forever no matter what they do.Some males have even been treated poorly by females before they even started becoming interested in dating. For example,I have treated poorly by females ever since 1st Grade when I was 6 years old,and been poorly by females ever since.That's a long f*****g time ago,before some people here were even born.That's NOT something that easily be shaken off.So if people like me can't be "helped",then how would you feel if you been rejected by every single female throughout your entire life? Personally,I really close to giving up women,and can you blame me based on my situation and past experiences?
You're right, I do believe the attitude you've voluntarily adopted explains most of your struggles and yes I do believe you have to take responsibility for correcting your attitude before you're likely to have any success.
Some men might be more likely to struggle, but no one is guaranteed to be doomed 100%. Blaming everyone else for the attitude that you've adopted is a type of immaturity that should be disqualifying because it makes it clear that the person expressing it isn't yet capable of taking responsibility for their choices, actions and outcomes resulting from. Until you choose to improve your attitude I don't believe you can be helped and rather than exhaust myself trying to help others improve their chances I'd rather go back to worrying about improving my outcomes. Best of luck.
It seems very strange to me when people blame someone's pessimistic outlook on dating as the source of all their dating failures, when it makes a lot more sense that previous dating failures are responsible for the cultivation of the pessimistic attitude.
Generally, no one is to blame when someone who's never had any romantic success develops a pessimistic outlook on their capacity to attract a partner. In fact that's pretty natural, and probably what you'd expect. That said, no one can truly know that they're doomed to stay single forever, so maximising on attributes that give you leverage in the dating market and ensuring you get exposure to eligible potential partners is probably the way to give yourself the best chance.
I would agree that assigning blame where it doesn't belong over your situation isn't going to bring about a productive outcome, but I would also say that it's reasonable to recognise that you're almost certainly not fully to blame for your relentless failure at attracting the opposite sex if you were born with a neurological condition that impairs your social skills and ability to recognise social cues.
18 May 2020, 2:23 am
Pepe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
People like Rick are NOT precluded from having romantic success.
I hope Rick is able to sing a different tune a year or two from now—or even sooner.
I hope Rick is able to sing a different tune a year or two from now—or even sooner.
I don't know if telling people with no hope that they will have success is a good idea.
I always had the idea that one day I would meet someone and it never happened. My belief that I would definitely meet someone wasn't good for me.
I think we should be more accepting and supportive of the idea of people not finding a partner.
It should be just as normal as having a partner.
I think it's better to nourish and encourage other more realistic and accessible passions.
Life is more than this romance crap.
WOW!
Total agreement.
I'm glad to see you have worked out your previous issues. (hugz)
While it is a case of "Giving it a try" to work out if a sig-other-rel is for "you",
People "need" to understand that what we are dealing with here is an arbitrary social paradigm.
And they also "need" to understand that engaging in a coupling relationship is a massive trade-off, especially for those on the spectrum.
To all:
"Read my lips": It is a valid and satisfying lifestyle to remain single, for some/many.
I realised that I was trying so hard to do all the right things for men who really could never be pleased.
What's the point? I'll never be enough no matter what I do.
I'm not playing their stupid games anymore. What gives these people the right to judge my worth and make me feel like crap? They have no right.
Like Rick I look after myself, I work, I'm independent. All the advice you get is never enough.
I'm done.
You have to get to a point where you are totally broken before you can give up.
I'm still very angry.
18 May 2020, 2:33 am
18 May 2020, 2:37 am
18 May 2020, 3:42 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Pepe stop hugging random people.
You’re killing them with your odor.
You’re killing them with your odor.
I didn't know they were "random".
I was under the impression they were "randy".
My bad.
18 May 2020, 4:02 am
hurtloam wrote:
Pepe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
People like Rick are NOT precluded from having romantic success.
I hope Rick is able to sing a different tune a year or two from now—or even sooner.
I hope Rick is able to sing a different tune a year or two from now—or even sooner.
I don't know if telling people with no hope that they will have success is a good idea.
I always had the idea that one day I would meet someone and it never happened. My belief that I would definitely meet someone wasn't good for me.
I think we should be more accepting and supportive of the idea of people not finding a partner.
It should be just as normal as having a partner.
I think it's better to nourish and encourage other more realistic and accessible passions.
Life is more than this romance crap.
WOW!
Total agreement.
I'm glad to see you have worked out your previous issues. (hugz)
While it is a case of "Giving it a try" to work out if a sig-other-rel is for "you",
People "need" to understand that what we are dealing with here is an arbitrary social paradigm.
And they also "need" to understand that engaging in a coupling relationship is a massive trade-off, especially for those on the spectrum.
To all:
"Read my lips": It is a valid and satisfying lifestyle to remain single, for some/many.
I realised that I was trying so hard to do all the right things for men who really could never be pleased.
What's the point? I'll never be enough no matter what I do.
I'm not playing their stupid games anymore. What gives these people the right to judge my worth and make me feel like crap? They have no right.
Like Rick I look after myself, I work, I'm independent. All the advice you get is never enough.
I'm done.
You have to get to a point where you are totally broken before you can give up.
I'm still very angry.
Yes, you have a ways to go to realise you don't need "them".
Invest in yourself, generally, and your solid platinum independence.
I'm not a person who wants to have friends,
But if *you* are, is that an option?
Will that fill the emotional void to some degree?
Probably the biggest joy I have is my companionship with my animal kids.
Having pets satisfies our innate desire to care for something,
And those on the spectrum have a particularly profound affinity with them.
Human psychology is rather primitive, in some ways, and this sort of substitution works extremely well.
And besides, animals are better than people.
You can trust them, and they are always honest, seriously.
I'm pretty sure, that as you mature in age and life experience, you will find tranquillity, as I have.
There have even been studies done on this, which suggest, after a certain age, people lose their angst about the shoddy life system we were forced into, and accept our circumstances.
Perhaps it has something to do with gaining greater stoicism. <shrug>
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