How can I open up?

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I have a lady friend (who is Neurotypical) that I talk to frequently, several times a week. I like her and she likes me. She says there are a lot of things she likes about me, but she is on the fence. She says it is because I don't open up emotionally, and she needs that emotional connection.

How can I open up to her emotionally, when I don't usually share my feelings with anybody, not even my parents?

Many times Aspies can communicate better in writing than orally. You might send her a love letter. Communicate you emotions in written words.

Have you told her you don't open up about your feelings to your parents? That's actually quite a personal thing to share. It gives insight into how you were brought up.

Maybe share something about your childhood and your life growing up and ask her about her childhood.

Your parents don't count here. Guess you are unable to develop that kind of emotional connection because it requires you to recognize her feelings emotionally by feeling the same way and amplifying her positive feelings by doing something that causes her feelings to become stronger, e.g. she leans on you and you get how she feels because of mirror neurons and you are showing her that you are liking her by leaning towards her too and putting your arm around her aso.
May be she can teach it to you and help you to get rid of your Asperger's in same way by letting you guessing her emotions and trying to developing the same one until you are able to it. You have to learn to develop much more and stronger feelings near to her. I guess it's possible to get rid of Asperger's but I'm not sure because nobody ever tried it. But your brain is able to learn and to improve - even the emotional part. Just talk to her about this! And please let me know whether you did improve or not once she is OK with giving you that chance.

If it comes to me - the only way I'm able to establish an emotional connection to NT women in case of eye contact. I'm sometimes able to make them loosing their anxieties and feeling fun or a joy that they don't even get. May be it's a way that you can cause her a incredible crush on you too.
Looking in her eyes by putting a feeling of incredible joy about seeing into her eyes just into your eyes...

I did notice for myself that I unconsiously stop to feel emotions towards people as soon other people are near to me. You can open up once you are developing and keeping strong feelings towards her (e.g. a strong longing for feeling her touching you) once she is near to you.

The problem is that the brains of people with Asperger's work different. We are rational and don't feel. We are emotional cold as ice (not just 'cool') and we would be the best actors in vampire films. Beside of this we are the most positive and possible funniest people in the world. NTs are driven by a constant feeling of emotions instead.
For an emotional connection you have to develop emotions and feelings first. For this the real question could be what does you cause to develop a strong and longlasting emotional feeling?

One day in my life I when I visited Maastricht I was able to make the positive way my whole thinking is a feeling. All woman (e.g. cashier) I was talking to began to flirt with me immediately (now I even know what it means 'to flirt') and I did recognice their feelings in a funny way and lots of strangers in the street I didn't even know noticed me and did greet me. It a very different world that NTs live in and it's whats she expects you to be and to see. But we don't feel even nearly the same way that NTs do and mostly we don't even feel at all.

It's pretty common for us Aspies to have problems expressing our feelings. Sometimes we don't even know what we're feeling/have problems identifying feelings. You could try explaining that to her. Like jimmy said we sometimes communicate better in writing or typing so it may help to try that approach. You can also try to express your feelings in other ways, maybe you can do something special for her that she'd really appreciate.

I never been good at expressing my feelings with my parents or anyone else but I'm not sure if it is directly due to my Aspergers. Me & my parents had LOTS of fights my whole life until I moved out at 28 cuz they didn't really understand all my various issues or we even fully aware of the extent of some of them. I was also bullied a lot in elementary school & I never really had a majorly close friend. The only people I ever really felt close to is my current girlfriend & both my exes. I try/tried to express my feelings for them by being very affectionate with them. I tell them I love them multiple times a day, sometimes tell them I'm lost without them or something similar, spend a lot of time just hanging out, snuggle/cuddle/hug alot, offer to give massages & sometimes just start doing it if we're both in good positions for me to(my current girlfriend has a lot of pain issues & probably has fibromyalgia), & I just do what I can to help them with things(LOTS of things I have problems with thou) & I'm always there for them. But I'm not deeper than that. I'm not romantic & I'm NOT creative at all so I cant really express myself from things like poetry, love notes, art, music ect. I'm not that good of a conversationalist either. I listen to them talk & ask questions but lots of times I just say things like "I'm sorry", "OK", "Oh", ect. This probably is no help to you Elensar but maybe it gave you an idea or two.

Does she know you are on the spectrum?

Notice when you have a resistance to telling her something or responding to her and ask yourself in that moment if there is a way you can respond .

example: she asks a question you dont feel comfortable answering.

Do you say ' I dont feel comfortable because...' or do you go distant or change the topic or get angry?