Got ghosted. Again. Really upset about this one.

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Just a few nights after that other girl that I posted about on here last week, another girl on Bumble comes along.

This conversation lasted just 2 days. But in that time I felt even better with this one than I did the last one. Had stuff in common and all. On Friday night I decided that there was no point in waiting anymore and asked her if she wanted to video chat. She said "maybe in a little while I need to(do something that I have no reason to question)". About 50 minutes go by and I don't hear anything else from her. So I then ask her if she's ready yet. No response to that. She hasn't texted me all day today.

This is the severalth time I have been talking to someone on a dating site for like a few days to a week, only for them to just blow me off without an explanation. I've been told that there needs to be an emotional connection. I subconciously thought that the only things you needed were an attraction towards each other and things in common. But now I've gotten the impression that there is more to it than that and/or I need to work on my conversation skills. I just talked to her about our common interests and asked questions regarding them, had a conversation about the pandemic, among other things. And from here on out it will become harder for me to not be worried about the possibility of any girl to just blow me off at anytime, no matter how well the conversation is going.

I could say that I at least had an emotional connection with her, given how frusturated I still am about her blowing me off, but again, it's apperantly not that simple and I don't think I fully understand it all.

This is why I’m lucky I never had to go on an online dating site.

I can feel your pain. But, really, the best thing to do is to move on from this, and keep plugging away.

I’ve experienced precisely the same thing (except for the online thing) many times.

I'm sorry to hear that. It seems to be that people online are too comfortable with just straight up ignoring other people, especially on dating apps. Maybe she was too shy to video chat with you, and is also too shy to tell you so? I know it takes awhile for some people to be comfortable with that, and women are especially sometimes too scared to outright turn down things due to past experiences with men getting angry at them.

Maybe the next time you offer to video chat with someone you can reassure them that if they don't want to yet it wouldn't be a huge deal to you? It might make it less awkward for the other person if they didn't want to, and if they turned it down you could wait a bit longer to ask again to make sure they were more comfortable with it.

The previous poster gives good advice.

Don't feel too bad. On sites like Tinder, Bumble, and any other online dating site, ghosting is extremely common, you're just going to have to get used to it otherwise you're going to have an extremely miserable time on there. You have to remember, the majority of women on these dating apps have literally dozens of men trying to talk to them and pursue them and when you have that many people trying to hit you up and ask you out, women are much more likely to be picky or drop you if a better guy comes along.


I think one problem with many men, not just you, is that we tend to fall extremely quickly for a girl without even knowing her. You match with a girl you find attractive on Tinder; you don't even know her, never even talked to her, you don't even know if you'll ever go on a date with this girl, yet you're already fantasizing about her and imagining a life together. Don't do this, you're only setting yourself up for more pain and disappointment.

The trick is to go on with low expectations. You want to try but you don't want to get super attached to a girl early on because the chances of you two even meeting up, let alone going on a date is pretty low anyways. That's just the way it is for the majority of men.

I like what has been posted so far & I'm not gonna reiterate it. But one thing I thought of that hasn't been mentioned is that maybe some of the people who disappear that you hadn't video chatted with may be catfishes.

Dude, she gets DOZENS of messages per the minute, you'll always get ghosted due to their massive abundance of choices in these apps.

You know what you should do? You should get a professional photographer to take good high-quality photos of yourself that look really good.

A lot of guys don't know how to take good pictures of themselves. Maybe the photo looks too grainy or unprofessional, maybe the person in the photo is too close or too faraway, maybe there isn't enough lighting around the person and they look too dark. One common mistake is the person in the photo is covered with a shadow while the rest of the photo is bright, try to avoid this. The person in the photo should be well-lit, and the quality of the photo should be high-quality.


Here's a neat trick for a good photo. Go outside in a plain field (without anything else in the background) and then have someone take a close up photo of you from the chest up. Make sure you're clearly in focus while the background is blurred out a little bit. Here's a good example.

https://www.tinderseduction.com/wp-cont ... otos-2.png

^Idk if that was a big reason why I keep getting ghosted and ignored, but that sounds like something I should give a try. Thank you!

I had this dream lately. It’s hard for me to describe, but it gave me the message that you’re more likely to find someone on tinder.