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No friends, but constantly having guys "wanting" me

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funeralxempire
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07 Jul 2020, 6:28 pm

dorkseid wrote:
I always had the exact opposite problem. Every woman I met wanted to be just friends. This while I watched everyone else around me dating and getting married and starting families. It made me wonder what's wrong with me.


You confuse wanting to hook-up with wanting to date. :?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Jul 2020, 11:35 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
I always had the exact opposite problem. Every woman I met wanted to be just friends. This while I watched everyone else around me dating and getting married and starting families. It made me wonder what's wrong with me.


You confuse wanting to hook-up with wanting to date. :?


How did you get this impression of him?



funeralxempire
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08 Jul 2020, 4:19 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
I always had the exact opposite problem. Every woman I met wanted to be just friends. This while I watched everyone else around me dating and getting married and starting families. It made me wonder what's wrong with me.


You confuse wanting to hook-up with wanting to date. :?


How did you get this impression of him?


Did you not read his comment? :?

OP isn't describing everyone wanting to date her, so dorkseid's situation doesn't mirror hers in anyway. If it's not intended to mirror it in some way it's not even relevant.


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Jul 2020, 6:21 am

funeralxempire wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
I always had the exact opposite problem. Every woman I met wanted to be just friends. This while I watched everyone else around me dating and getting married and starting families. It made me wonder what's wrong with me.


You confuse wanting to hook-up with wanting to date. :?


How did you get this impression of him?


Did you not read his comment? :?

OP isn't describing everyone wanting to date her, so dorkseid's situation doesn't mirror hers in anyway. If it's not intended to mirror it in some way it's not even relevant.



Yes, but that doesn’t mean the guy wants a hookup.

And besides we don’t know if all the OP’s fans just wanted a hookup; some may really have wanted a relationship with her.

You are assuming a lot.



dorkseid
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08 Jul 2020, 6:03 pm

I'm interested primarily in a long-term relationship. I'm open to hook-ups if the situation is right, but my goal is to find someone who will help feel less lonely.

Anyway, I commented simply because I found it interesting to hear from someone with the exact opposite perspective. That's all.



funeralxempire
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08 Jul 2020, 8:47 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
I always had the exact opposite problem. Every woman I met wanted to be just friends. This while I watched everyone else around me dating and getting married and starting families. It made me wonder what's wrong with me.


You confuse wanting to hook-up with wanting to date. :?


How did you get this impression of him?


Did you not read his comment? :?

OP isn't describing everyone wanting to date her, so dorkseid's situation doesn't mirror hers in anyway. If it's not intended to mirror it in some way it's not even relevant.



Yes, but that doesn’t mean the guy wants a hookup.

And besides we don’t know if all the OP’s fans just wanted a hookup; some may really have wanted a relationship with her.

You are assuming a lot.


You're assuming I'm assuming. I'm merely commenting on the provided information.


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When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn't become king, the palace becomes a circus.
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


The_Face_of_Boo
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09 Jul 2020, 6:53 am

funeralxempire wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
I always had the exact opposite problem. Every woman I met wanted to be just friends. This while I watched everyone else around me dating and getting married and starting families. It made me wonder what's wrong with me.


You confuse wanting to hook-up with wanting to date. :?


How did you get this impression of him?


Did you not read his comment? :?

OP isn't describing everyone wanting to date her, so dorkseid's situation doesn't mirror hers in anyway. If it's not intended to mirror it in some way it's not even relevant.



Yes, but that doesn’t mean the guy wants a hookup.

And besides we don’t know if all the OP’s fans just wanted a hookup; some may really have wanted a relationship with her.

You are assuming a lot.


You're assuming I'm assuming. I'm merely commenting on the provided information.


You're assuming I'm unjustly assuming that you're assuming based on what LC is assuming of her fans' assumed intentions.


Wat?



kraftiekortie
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09 Jul 2020, 6:55 am

It’s all very complex assuming :P



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09 Jul 2020, 7:57 am

How does that saying go? Makes something of you and me?



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30 Jul 2020, 10:28 pm

This is also something I've struggled with. I have few female friends, and they tend to reject me unless they're "different" themselves. I'd like to find some aspie female friends, because I think it'd be a lot better that way. Either that, or women who accept me for being different.

Almost every male friend has had hidden intentions, only spending time around me for a relationship. Most of my male friends have dropped me since I've gotten married. It wasn't until I was old enough to understand that bonding with men is inappropriate in the ways in which one bonds with other women.



LunaticCentruroides
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30 Jul 2020, 11:15 pm

Kinme wrote:
This is also something I've struggled with. I have few female friends, and they tend to reject me unless they're "different" themselves. I'd like to find some aspie female friends, because I think it'd be a lot better that way. Either that, or women who accept me for being different.

Almost every male friend has had hidden intentions, only spending time around me for a relationship. Most of my male friends have dropped me since I've gotten married. It wasn't until I was old enough to understand that bonding with men is inappropriate in the ways in which one bonds with other women.


Crazy, right?
Females that are different themselves don’t reject me right away. The other more “normal” ones like to judge, bully or just stare weirdly at me, cause they don’t know what’s going on. I don’t even know myself what’s going on lol

Every time I got into a relationship, I lost one male friend after the other. That might be even more of a reason why I started to deeply dislike committed relationships. It makes lonely to the bones.

How many friends do you have now that you’re married?



cyberdad
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31 Jul 2020, 12:07 am

LunaticCentruroides wrote:
[ or just stare weirdly at me, cause they don’t know what’s going on.


Why do they stare at you just out of curiosity?



Kitty4670
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31 Jul 2020, 12:24 am

Kinme wrote:
This is also something I've struggled with. I have few female friends, and they tend to reject me unless they're "different" themselves. I'd like to find some aspie female friends, because I think it'd be a lot better that way. Either that, or women who accept me for being different.

Almost every male friend has had hidden intentions, only spending time around me for a relationship. Most of my male friends have dropped me since I've gotten married. It wasn't until I was old enough to understand that bonding with men is inappropriate in the ways in which one bonds with other women.


I will be your friend, I wish I can have Aspie friends too. I feel soooo out of place with all the NTs. I live in California too.



LunaticCentruroides
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31 Jul 2020, 12:43 am

cyberdad wrote:
LunaticCentruroides wrote:
[ or just stare weirdly at me, cause they don’t know what’s going on.


Why do they stare at you just out of curiosity?


I really don't know man... Like imagine a group of people - there's an interesting discussion going on and at some point I'm giving my opinion on something or explaining my point of view – Everybody looks at me - While the males would be super opened up, the females just stare at me and don’t say any word. But if my goal is being accepted by females, I prefer to just joke around. Females like to laugh and they like it if I present myself as a “clown”, because I'd not be a threat anymore. At least I won’t get judged or bullied by them lol

Or another example is me having a wild discussion about something (with mostly a male of course) and there sits a female nearby that just stares weirdly at me. All the females stare weird and stop talking if I get all hyped up.

Sometimes, rarely, there's an interesting woman that would engage into the discussion with me. They'd normally have the potential of a forming a friendship with me.
So yes, I’ve encountered very genuine and interesting females before. But they really have to be on the same line as I am. Just normal and nice, you know :lol:

Oh and other times it happens, that I feel uncomfortable and shy around others and don't say much in the group, because there’s like nothing I could add. People would just stare at me as if I was an alien and not including me in any discussion. Ughh, how I hate this…
It’s that typical social anxiety/autism thing.

It's really all based on luck/bad luck, depending on the people I meet.



cyberdad
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31 Jul 2020, 3:35 am

LunaticCentruroides wrote:
Or another example is me having a wild discussion about something (with mostly a male of course) and there sits a female nearby that just stares weirdly at me. All the females stare weird and stop talking if I get all hyped up.


Get one of your male friends to tape you when you are hyped up or in the middle of discussion and review it with somebody objectively to analyse what you might be doing in the heat of the moment.

NT Girls (as you probably already know) are much more adept at picking up subtle social quirks than men.



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31 Jul 2020, 10:30 am

Kinme wrote:
This is also something I've struggled with. I have few female friends, and they tend to reject me unless they're "different" themselves. I'd like to find some aspie female friends, because I think it'd be a lot better that way. Either that, or women who accept me for being different.

Almost every male friend has had hidden intentions, only spending time around me for a relationship. Most of my male friends have dropped me since I've gotten married. It wasn't until I was old enough to understand that bonding with men is inappropriate in the ways in which one bonds with other women.



Friendship between men and women is always temporary, and often ends when one of them gets married.