Very few women want Aspie men

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Women are picky. They don't typically like anyone with alexithymia, but a woman with it? My one girlfriend experience was dreadful... Men have been more tolerant of my aromantic tendencies because sex and the ability to hold an intelligent conversation. I'm demisexual and aceflux, so things wither eventually. I've yet to meet anyone that is on my wavelength (that is single and wants to date me). I'm more attracted to women though.

Vegeta - this is very true. It can be very demoralizing and demeaning and frustrating. But I am trying to look at it this way.....I was alone for 12 years (with just my children). At least now I am not. There are worse men in the world and at least we like the same things even if we are just room mates because believe me....that's what we are. I had a boyfriend who adored me in the past and put me on a pedestal....I had an ex husband and we had amazing sex.....so I don't have any of that now (but I did). No touching, no verbal communication of affection.....no affection what-so-ever. Like I said, I can't even tell if he likes me and when I bring it up to him....he calls me dramatic. The Neurotyp website says it's Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome....I can understand how and why. I am not even a year in......

But there are worse things in life. And he has children at home and they are also challenging. I moved in with him but most of my stuff is in storage so I can always leave. Once I realized that.....I was ok. I'm not "stuck" here forever if I don't want to be here and trust me, every day I question that. But he can learn and make changes. My ASD therapist taught me that. : )

Vegeta you can "learn" how to be affectionate and enjoy it if you are not. You can learn how to have a loving and caring relationship and be honest and true to you, if you want. Find an ASD/ADD or whatever it is you are, therapist and get appropriate therapy. It helps. There is no reason why you can't have a great relationship with someone who loves and adores you back.

Right now I am going inwards and shutting down ALL MY FEELINGS because of him. It's awful. Dating was supposed t be fun. I have lost so much weight my doc sends me for tests constantly. : ( My ass still looks great though so that's still a plus. So if you don't want to do this to a woman....go find a therapist that specializes in ASD and learn and be true to you at the same time and be open and honest with your girl. My guy is not open and honest with me because if he was.....we would be happy because I like him. Good luck Vegeta.

Ohhhhh Pepe.....you have no idea.....I have a great Ass-ssessment. It's my best feature : ) Tonight when I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, he looked at me in fear that I was going to want to have s*x with him. (He has children). I tried to initiate the discussion that everyone is telling me to have with him about s*x. He said, like he always does....he doesn't want to discuss it. He can no longer use the excuses that he's stressed, tired, stomach hurts, etc....He said the conversation wasn't normal. I said, Oh yes it was. I am screaming in my Head. Oh that's what I do. I scream in my head and I count things. LOL I don't scream for real.....it's sort of a euphemism. I am sort of a word nerd too and like to "play" with words. Did I scare you away from my, ass-ets? I said you never show me that you like me. You don't touch me. You don't say you love me. We are 9 months into this relationship. He said he hugs me. I'm like, no, I'm pretty sure it's me who hugs you. I can't take this rejection anymore. It HURTS. I am losing MYSELF. Where did I go? I want me back. But I'm scared Pepe that there is nothing better out there. : ( I hate this f*c*ed up world. : (

So Vegeta......this is why women don't want Aspie men.....they hurt you. Badly.

And very few men want an Aspie Woman....

Ohhhhh Pepe.....you have no idea.....I have a great Ass-ssessment. It's my best feature : ) Tonight when I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, he looked at me in fear that I was going to want to have s*x with him. (He has children). I tried to initiate the discussion that everyone is telling me to have with him about s*x. He said, like he always does....he doesn't want to discuss it. He can no longer use the excuses that he's stressed, tired, stomach hurts, etc....He said the conversation wasn't normal. I said, Oh yes it was. I am screaming in my Head. Oh that's what I do. I scream in my head and I count things. LOL I don't scream for real.....it's sort of a euphemism. I am sort of a word nerd too and like to "play" with words. Did I scare you away from my, ass-ets? I said you never show me that you like me. You don't touch me. You don't say you love me. We are 9 months into this relationship. He said he hugs me. I'm like, no, I'm pretty sure it's me who hugs you. I can't take this rejection anymore. It HURTS. I am losing MYSELF. Where did I go? I want me back. But I'm scared Pepe that there is nothing better out there. : ( I hate this f*c*ed up world. : (

So Vegeta......this is why women don't want Aspie men.....they hurt you. Badly.

Interesting! I was with a girl, and I was like afraid to touch her like you describe. Because I think about how I could touch her, but I have to control my arm, and I anticipate her not liking me touching her out of the blue.. so I end up not touching her, because I am having to plan it and then hate myself for not doing it.. it's like the touching momentum isn't there, so she wouldn't expect it or like it. Moving my body and planning how to my arms becomes difficult and I am having to plan how to my move my body in the future.. most important, the situation does not seem natural and perfect for her to be OK with me touching her.

But your husband sounds asexual.

Ohhhhh Pepe.....you have no idea.....I have a great Ass-ssessment. It's my best feature : ) Tonight when I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, he looked at me in fear that I was going to want to have s*x with him. (He has children). I tried to initiate the discussion that everyone is telling me to have with him about s*x. He said, like he always does....he doesn't want to discuss it. He can no longer use the excuses that he's stressed, tired, stomach hurts, etc....He said the conversation wasn't normal. I said, Oh yes it was. I am screaming in my Head. Oh that's what I do. I scream in my head and I count things. LOL I don't scream for real.....it's sort of a euphemism. I am sort of a word nerd too and like to "play" with words. Did I scare you away from my, ass-ets? I said you never show me that you like me. You don't touch me. You don't say you love me. We are 9 months into this relationship. He said he hugs me. I'm like, no, I'm pretty sure it's me who hugs you. I can't take this rejection anymore. It HURTS. I am losing MYSELF. Where did I go? I want me back. But I'm scared Pepe that there is nothing better out there. : ( I hate this f*c*ed up world. : (

So Vegeta......this is why women don't want Aspie men.....they hurt you. Badly.

I think part of the problem is he doesn't know what "s*x" is.
Why so coy?
"Sex" is a 3 letter word, not 4.

Perhaps, or he might know it but doesn't dare to tell her.

I think sex is a super-complicated issue in neurodiversity, and so much more than just having sexual intercourse for five minutes a few times a week or so.

My suggestion?
Keep him as a roommate.
Look for a better, more giving/equitable relationship.

If someone better comes along, go with him.
No harm, no foul.
He had his chance.

So what is the glue that holds you two together again?