Dating Apps - are they worth the time and effort?

To be honest, I'm not 100% sure. But because I had a 1 month premium membership, I had enough time to try out a few different methods. But all of them had led to nearly the same result. This failure isnt meant to say, dating sites / apps are useless or worthless. But women, especially those around the age 18 - 27 (the ages which I searched for and messaged to most women), are simply childish or not taking it seriously. Many have high expectations, looking for men who have accomplished a few things already or look extremely attracting(I wear glasses and my face looks somewhat unconfident due to the aspergers, even when I smile).
But, I wont go through a plastic surgery for these women.
I'd probably have better luck if I would have went to these places where you can meet new people, but most of these places are closed due to the virus so it's a big problem...
As for meeting them you just need to ask them after a while of chatting. If they're always putting the subject of meeting off or go silent when th date approaches then they're time wasters.
I agree, if I try to ask her to meet up or arrange a date and she avoids talking about this subject, its a good sign she's a waste of time. Right? You experienced this yourself?
Pretty much yes. About 80%+ of people who will respond will never meet up and they will always mislead you as to their real intention of only wanting someone to talk to to kill time. I have managed to get a fair few dates out of dating sites of a few years of being on/off them. A person who is receptive to meeting will make it known as the day approaches as they will not change the subject, go quiet or ignore your request for a date and will be much more proactive. Don't be afraid to be blunt with time wasters for the losers they are, you can send them thousands of messages that they'll gleefully gobble up, read and respond to but all that time that they knowingly (and happily) take from you could be spent on someone who would actually want to meet you (and they know it). People like that actually take dates away from you and I'm not very nice to them once I sniff them out.
Sometimes I have the odd surprise of someone meeting me after over a year of ping ponging messages but it's very rare. The way I see it, dates are not particularly stressful or intimidating and if someone is dodging a date then their not worth their salt in any relationship. If someone is to anxious/bone idle for a date then they shouldn't be on dating sites yet alone looking for a partner.
As for meeting them you just need to ask them after a while of chatting. If they're always putting the subject of meeting off or go silent when th date approaches then they're time wasters.
I agree, if I try to ask her to meet up or arrange a date and she avoids talking about this subject, its a good sign she's a waste of time. Right? You experienced this yourself?
Pretty much yes. About 80%+ of people who will respond will never meet up and they will always mislead you as to their real intention of only wanting someone to talk to to kill time. I have managed to get a fair few dates out of dating sites of a few years of being on/off them. A person who is receptive to meeting will make it known as the day approaches as they will not change the subject, go quiet or ignore your request for a date and will be much more proactive. Don't be afraid to be blunt with time wasters for the losers they are, you can send them thousands of messages that they'll gleefully gobble up, read and respond to but all that time that they knowingly (and happily) take from you could be spent on someone who would actually want to meet you (and they know it). People like that actually take dates away from you and I'm not very nice to them once I sniff them out.
Sometimes I have the odd surprise of someone meeting me after over a year of ping ponging messages but it's very rare. The way I see it, dates are not particularly stressful or intimidating and if someone is dodging a date then their not worth their salt in any relationship. If someone is to anxious/bone idle for a date then they shouldn't be on dating sites yet alone looking for a partner.
I agree that they are many women on dating sites who arent on there because they're looking for a serious relationship, they're just there to play games, joke around, and possibly waste other men's time. They do this for various reasons, but whatever the reason might be, its not fair and its rude and disrespectful. Whats worse, they dont even tell you this, you have to find out yourself.
Like you stated, they use various tricks to make you believe something is going to come out of the conversation, but nothing actually happens. But there are also women who are serious, and are actually looking for a serious relationship, but they fail to see qualities deep inside of a man. They just look at the photos of a man's profile, they think "wow he doesnt look so cute" and move on without even trying to get to know the person. Thats so unfair. I cant be 100% perfect looking, does that mean I'm a bad person? if a woman would have talked to me I would prove to her and explain why and how I can be a good man who knows how to treat a woman and that I'm worth her time.
The main conclusion I've reached with dating sites, is you gotta have a f*****g s**t tons of patience and send atleast 100 messages a day if you want to have a small chance of finding a girlfriend. Even then, the chances are very small, but there is still some chance.
Cavycat
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 12 Jan 2019
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 52
Location: Long Island, NY
I've been doing dating apps and sites for not very long (I'd say less than a year), and it just depends on where you live and who you're looking for. Who you are is also important, as is what type of relationship you want. I live in a major metropolitan area, female, and am kind of young, so I'm more likely to get a larger list of candidates than someone who isn't as desirable statistically. There are different apps for different types of folks, especially as some have specific preferences as to what type of relationship or occupation the person they meet up with is. I've heard others on this thread ask why so many apps are involved in hookups or the short term, to which I say, I don't know. I've been talking to two guys I clicked with on a specialty site for around six or so months, nobody clicked with me on the standard sites like Bumble and Tinder's design layout made me angry. I'm not sure if they are worth the time and effort, but they certainly help with getting to know the person beforehand, especially as a person who has overprotective parents and iffy social skills.
As for meeting them you just need to ask them after a while of chatting. If they're always putting the subject of meeting off or go silent when th date approaches then they're time wasters.
I agree, if I try to ask her to meet up or arrange a date and she avoids talking about this subject, its a good sign she's a waste of time. Right? You experienced this yourself?
Pretty much yes. About 80%+ of people who will respond will never meet up and they will always mislead you as to their real intention of only wanting someone to talk to to kill time. I have managed to get a fair few dates out of dating sites of a few years of being on/off them. A person who is receptive to meeting will make it known as the day approaches as they will not change the subject, go quiet or ignore your request for a date and will be much more proactive. Don't be afraid to be blunt with time wasters for the losers they are, you can send them thousands of messages that they'll gleefully gobble up, read and respond to but all that time that they knowingly (and happily) take from you could be spent on someone who would actually want to meet you (and they know it). People like that actually take dates away from you and I'm not very nice to them once I sniff them out.
Sometimes I have the odd surprise of someone meeting me after over a year of ping ponging messages but it's very rare. The way I see it, dates are not particularly stressful or intimidating and if someone is dodging a date then their not worth their salt in any relationship. If someone is to anxious/bone idle for a date then they shouldn't be on dating sites yet alone looking for a partner.
I agree that they are many women on dating sites who arent on there because they're looking for a serious relationship, they're just there to play games, joke around, and possibly waste other men's time. They do this for various reasons, but whatever the reason might be, its not fair and its rude and disrespectful. Whats worse, they dont even tell you this, you have to find out yourself.
Like you stated, they use various tricks to make you believe something is going to come out of the conversation, but nothing actually happens. But there are also women who are serious, and are actually looking for a serious relationship, but they fail to see qualities deep inside of a man. They just look at the photos of a man's profile, they think "wow he doesnt look so cute" and move on without even trying to get to know the person. Thats so unfair. I cant be 100% perfect looking, does that mean I'm a bad person? if a woman would have talked to me I would prove to her and explain why and how I can be a good man who knows how to treat a woman and that I'm worth her time.
The main conclusion I've reached with dating sites, is you gotta have a f*****g s**t tons of patience and send atleast 100 messages a day if you want to have a small chance of finding a girlfriend. Even then, the chances are very small, but there is still some chance.
Be aware of sob stories too. There is always a sob story to accompany why someone has been unemployed for most of their adult life, why they have kids to three different fathers, why they weigh 400 pounds.
A lot of sob stories are utterly brazen. Be cautious of people who say they have been raped within the first few messages of convo. No legitimate victim of that will ever casually drop something like that in a convo with a complete stranger unless they were telling porkies. That is one of the most common ways people guilt trip you into ignoring massive shortfalls in their lives. Stay clear of them.
nick007
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,890
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
A lot of sob stories are utterly brazen. Be cautious of people who say they have been raped within the first few messages of convo. No legitimate victim of that will ever casually drop something like that in a convo with a complete stranger unless they were telling porkies. That is one of the most common ways people guilt trip you into ignoring massive shortfalls in their lives. Stay clear of them.

I think it is judgemental & hypocritical of us to want others to give us a real chance despite our many various flaws & issues if we ourselves are going to be immedidently distrusting of others with flaws & issues. I do however believe everyone should be catious & try to protect themselves thou. I think we should be watchfull of if the other person is trying to take advantage of us & just use us. Are they asking for money? Are they wanting me to pay for everything? Are they wanting me to do stuff for them while they do nothing for me? Do they make everything all about them? Do they controdict themselves a lot or with major things? Do they make excuses to put off meeting up? Hopefully all those answers will be No. Now for the Yes answers. Do they take an interest in what I say? Do they make time for me?
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
A lot of sob stories are utterly brazen. Be cautious of people who say they have been raped within the first few messages of convo. No legitimate victim of that will ever casually drop something like that in a convo with a complete stranger unless they were telling porkies. That is one of the most common ways people guilt trip you into ignoring massive shortfalls in their lives. Stay clear of them.

I think it is judgemental & hypocritical of us to want others to give us a real chance despite our many various flaws & issues if we ourselves are going to be immedidently distrusting of others with flaws & issues. I do however believe everyone should be catious & try to protect themselves thou. I think we should be watchfull of if the other person is trying to take advantage of us & just use us. Are they asking for money? Are they wanting me to pay for everything? Are they wanting me to do stuff for them while they do nothing for me? Do they make everything all about them? Do they controdict themselves a lot or with major things? Do they make excuses to put off meeting up? Hopefully all those answers will be No. Now for the Yes answers. Do they take an interest in what I say? Do they make time for me?
I would say about 2/3rds of the people I speak to on dating sites have claimed something horrible has happened to them to cause whatever problems they have. Granted there are often good reasons for said problems but given how grossly disproportionate these unfortunate events are from the user's of dating sites vs the general public I think a healthy amount if scepticism is needed when two or three people in a row nonchalantly say they been seriously abuse to a complete stranger.
I'm extremely cautious of people who say that given how hard it is to come to terms with genuine abuse.
nick007
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,890
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
A lot of sob stories are utterly brazen. Be cautious of people who say they have been raped within the first few messages of convo. No legitimate victim of that will ever casually drop something like that in a convo with a complete stranger unless they were telling porkies. That is one of the most common ways people guilt trip you into ignoring massive shortfalls in their lives. Stay clear of them.

I think it is judgemental & hypocritical of us to want others to give us a real chance despite our many various flaws & issues if we ourselves are going to be immedidently distrusting of others with flaws & issues. I do however believe everyone should be catious & try to protect themselves thou. I think we should be watchfull of if the other person is trying to take advantage of us & just use us. Are they asking for money? Are they wanting me to pay for everything? Are they wanting me to do stuff for them while they do nothing for me? Do they make everything all about them? Do they controdict themselves a lot or with major things? Do they make excuses to put off meeting up? Hopefully all those answers will be No. Now for the Yes answers. Do they take an interest in what I say? Do they make time for me?
I would say about 2/3rds of the people I speak to on dating sites have claimed something horrible has happened to them to cause whatever problems they have. Granted there are often good reasons for said problems but given how grossly disproportionate these unfortunate events are from the user's of dating sites vs the general public I think a healthy amount if scepticism is needed when two or three people in a row nonchalantly say they been seriously abuse to a complete stranger.
I'm extremely cautious of people who say that given how hard it is to come to terms with genuine abuse.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
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