Honestlyme wrote:
Hi, I'm back. Apparently "for as long as I can stand" wasn't a very long time and I broke up with him, right before telling him I think he has Aspergers. He immediately became very forthcoming, but it turns out he had no idea he might be autistic. People have suggested it to him over the years, but he hasn't taken it seriously. He did now and took the autism self assessment, but got a very low score. Lower than I get when I take the test. There's some ADD/autism overlap. We will go over the questions together, cause there's been some indication he didn't quite understand them. I wonder if I might just be seeing autism everywhere where there's none, due to the situation. He's going to go to therapy due to there being trouble no matter what you call it. I want to go too, but can't afford it. I will discuss joining as a couple.
I'm confused here. You mentioned breaking up with him & getting back together in your 1st post but here it sounds like you broke up with him again in this post but your talking about him like you are still in a relationship with him
Did you change your mind & have second thoughts after breaking up both times? Or you still officially broken up but considering the possibility that things or him may suddenly change? I know from experience that flip-flopping behavior from a romantic partner can be extremely difficult for an Aspie to handle. It can cause major confusion, major insecurity, & major frustration. You mentioned in your 1st post that you had a major breach of trust within your relationship & I have to warn you that the cycle of breaking up & getting back together with him is only going to make him more untrusting of you. If he is the one that broke your trust, being very unsure of you & your relationship will majorly increase the chance that he will majorly f#ck up again either by him acting out or him making bad decisions when he is trying to do rite by you. If you can not accept him the way he currently is, instead of pushing him to get help & change, it will probably be better for both of you if you just walk away for good. You can NOT get an Aspie to suddenly stop being an Aspie anymore than you can suddently get a non-Aspie(an NT) to suddenly become an Aspie. I know I'm sounding harsh here but I really don't know how else to explain it.