Would you date me if I were at my goal weight of 140?

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Pepe
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11 Nov 2021, 4:16 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
wowiexist wrote:
Pepe wrote:
wowiexist wrote:
Yes I have seen your pictures and you are beautiful.


Are they on this website?


I have seen them on here before. I was trying to find them again. There should be some unless she deleted them.

Image
Image
Here I am.


You have a luvly face. :heart:

I have been overweight, in my life.
I am much happier now that I shed a lot, which is more to do with health, now that I am no longer a spring chicken.

Also, as I have mentioned, Covid luvs chubby unfit people.
More my concern.
Don't let the bastardo win, not that you are in the critical age group. :wink:



wowiexist
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11 Nov 2021, 4:32 pm

You are absolutely gorgeous



wowiexist
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11 Nov 2021, 4:44 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
wowiexist wrote:
Pepe wrote:
wowiexist wrote:
Yes I have seen your pictures and you are beautiful.


Are they on this website?


I have seen them on here before. I was trying to find them again. There should be some unless she deleted them.

Image
Image
Here I am.


I would love to see more. You have beautiful eyes and lips.



Pepe
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11 Nov 2021, 4:55 pm

wowiexist wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
wowiexist wrote:
Pepe wrote:
wowiexist wrote:
Yes I have seen your pictures and you are beautiful.


Are they on this website?


I have seen them on here before. I was trying to find them again. There should be some unless she deleted them.

Image
Image
Here I am.


I would love to see more. You have beautiful eyes and lips.


Her "smiling" eyes are dreamy. <sigh> :heart: :mrgreen:



smartHulk
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12 Nov 2021, 8:53 am

Pepe wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
Minervx_2 wrote:
Most of the people in this thread are missing the point! You are all quibbling about bone structure and body shape, but that's irrelevant here.

She shouldn't feel like she's any less of a person because of her body. And you shouldn't be discouraged from dating just because you feel like your body is imperfect. There are a lot of guys who would date her as she is right now.


I think of being overweight due to lifestyle choices as a personality, not physical flaw. This kind of self-neglect is incompatible with my values. Ability to overcome your bad habits, cravings, to stick with a diet and exercise regimen is indication of discipline and motivation, caring about your physical and mental health, this is what I find very attractive. Attractive body is just a nice bonus of these attractive personality traits.


The problem is, there is no even playing field.

E.G.
People with more efficient metabolisms find it easier to keep in shape.
People who have been psychologically abused have more trouble "getting their shite together".
People who have low incomes tend to eat poorly, encouraging greater fat development.
People may not have the required knowledge to effectively lose weight.

Simple discipline is simply one factor in the equation. 8)


Yes, I'm aware of that. What I'm trying to do is level the field.

I think she is beautiful as is, she has stunning eyes, beautiful smile, gorgeous hair, nice lovely face. But at the same time I believe she should be on a healthy diet and exercise regularly for her own well being on fundamental level. It has nothing to do with superficial beauty standards or my aesthetic preferences. Yes, I think if she would lose excess weight, she would be just drop dead gorgeous. But weight loss and conventionally attractive shape would be just a nice side effect of being healthy and happy. If later she would decide she actually wants to be big and strong AF, instead of being conventionally beautiful, would put a lot of effort into gaining 60 lbs of muscles while being able to dead lift twice her weight, I would actually see it as it not being a slave to society's beauty standards. Yes, I personally don't find huge strong women attractive, but I would respect her decision to get bigger to achieve her goals if that's more important for her than compliance to conventional beauty standards.
And yes, I respect her decision to be in whatever shape she decided to be, but I personally will always doubt that decision as being genuine. There is a huge difference between decision you make, working to achieve it and self-serving bias, justifying situation you are already in.



wowiexist
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12 Nov 2021, 10:28 am

smartHulk wrote:
Pepe wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
Minervx_2 wrote:
Most of the people in this thread are missing the point! You are all quibbling about bone structure and body shape, but that's irrelevant here.

She shouldn't feel like she's any less of a person because of her body. And you shouldn't be discouraged from dating just because you feel like your body is imperfect. There are a lot of guys who would date her as she is right now.


I think of being overweight due to lifestyle choices as a personality, not physical flaw. This kind of self-neglect is incompatible with my values. Ability to overcome your bad habits, cravings, to stick with a diet and exercise regimen is indication of discipline and motivation, caring about your physical and mental health, this is what I find very attractive. Attractive body is just a nice bonus of these attractive personality traits.


The problem is, there is no even playing field.

E.G.
People with more efficient metabolisms find it easier to keep in shape.
People who have been psychologically abused have more trouble "getting their shite together".
People who have low incomes tend to eat poorly, encouraging greater fat development.
People may not have the required knowledge to effectively lose weight.

Simple discipline is simply one factor in the equation. 8)


Yes, I'm aware of that. What I'm trying to do is level the field.

I think she is beautiful as is, she has stunning eyes, beautiful smile, gorgeous hair, nice lovely face. But at the same time I believe she should be on a healthy diet and exercise regularly for her own well being on fundamental level. It has nothing to do with superficial beauty standards or my aesthetic preferences. Yes, I think if she would lose excess weight, she would be just drop dead gorgeous. But weight loss and conventionally attractive shape would be just a nice side effect of being healthy and happy. If later she would decide she actually wants to be big and strong AF, instead of being conventionally beautiful, would put a lot of effort into gaining 60 lbs of muscles while being able to dead lift twice her weight, I would actually see it as it not being a slave to society's beauty standards. Yes, I personally don't find huge strong women attractive, but I would respect her decision to get bigger to achieve her goals if that's more important for her than compliance to conventional beauty standards.
And yes, I respect her decision to be in whatever shape she decided to be, but I personally will always doubt that decision as being genuine. There is a huge difference between decision you make, working to achieve it and self-serving bias, justifying situation you are already in.


As far as looks I don’t think she needs to lose weight. She is already beautiful. I can see your point about being healthy. Sometimes people can eat healthy and still be a little bigger though.



AquaineBay
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12 Nov 2021, 3:19 pm

Ettina wrote:
AquaineBay wrote:
Minervx_2 wrote:
Most of the people in this thread are missing the point! You are all quibbling about bone structure and body shape, but that's irrelevant here.

She shouldn't feel like she's any less of a person because of her body. And you shouldn't be discouraged from dating just because you feel like your body is imperfect. There are a lot of guys who would date her as she is right now.


Where the French toast do you find guys that are willing to date a woman that is overweight(in abundance)? I have seen overweight women in relationships but they usually didn't start out that way. We as men need to stop lying to women that being overweight is okay and they are just fine. We certainly don't give these sort of lies to men so why do we do it for women!?(I am sorry OP if you aren't overweight right now but last I checked you said you were please correct me if I'm wrong) Also if we can talk about men and their body structures like it's no big deal than why can't we do the same for women? It's harsh to hear but, I'm just saying it like it is.


I know guys who actively prefer BBWs, and would rather date an overweight woman than a thin woman.

Insecurity is unattractive at any weight, though. So how about we stop encouraging women to be insecure about their weight?


And I know girls that will date guys with no money, status, and still living at home with his parents. Is that the normal though? No.

From what I know of no one is encouraging women to be insecure about their weight. Being overweight is not a good thing for either gender and both get insecure because of it so why do you think society only targets women with this? Yes media has a lot of slim women but you also see a lot of tall muscular men that are not overweight as well so no one is "targeting" anyone when it comes to weight.

Zeromancer I think it's possible since you lived at your parents house for so long that you aren't sure of your personality, values, and beliefs. If I remember you said you got your own apartment so maybe try going out and interacting with others or interact with your neighbors and as you continue you should get more of a sense of who you are as a person.


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Pepe
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12 Nov 2021, 3:56 pm

AquaineBay wrote:
Ettina wrote:
AquaineBay wrote:
Minervx_2 wrote:
Most of the people in this thread are missing the point! You are all quibbling about bone structure and body shape, but that's irrelevant here.

She shouldn't feel like she's any less of a person because of her body. And you shouldn't be discouraged from dating just because you feel like your body is imperfect. There are a lot of guys who would date her as she is right now.


Where the French toast do you find guys that are willing to date a woman that is overweight(in abundance)? I have seen overweight women in relationships but they usually didn't start out that way. We as men need to stop lying to women that being overweight is okay and they are just fine. We certainly don't give these sort of lies to men so why do we do it for women!?(I am sorry OP if you aren't overweight right now but last I checked you said you were please correct me if I'm wrong) Also if we can talk about men and their body structures like it's no big deal than why can't we do the same for women? It's harsh to hear but, I'm just saying it like it is.


I know guys who actively prefer BBWs, and would rather date an overweight woman than a thin woman.

Insecurity is unattractive at any weight, though. So how about we stop encouraging women to be insecure about their weight?


And I know girls that will date guys with no money, status, and still living at home with his parents. Is that the normal though? No.


Precisely.
There is no binary, here. 8)

AquaineBay wrote:
Zeromancer I think it's possible since you lived at your parents house for so long that you aren't sure of your personality, values, and beliefs. If I remember you said you got your own apartment so maybe try going out and interacting with others or interact with your neighbors and as you continue you should get more of a sense of who you are as a person.


It profoundly changes a person when they leave the family environment, yes. 8)



Pepe
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12 Nov 2021, 4:00 pm

wowiexist wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
Pepe wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
Minervx_2 wrote:
Most of the people in this thread are missing the point! You are all quibbling about bone structure and body shape, but that's irrelevant here.

She shouldn't feel like she's any less of a person because of her body. And you shouldn't be discouraged from dating just because you feel like your body is imperfect. There are a lot of guys who would date her as she is right now.


I think of being overweight due to lifestyle choices as a personality, not physical flaw. This kind of self-neglect is incompatible with my values. Ability to overcome your bad habits, cravings, to stick with a diet and exercise regimen is indication of discipline and motivation, caring about your physical and mental health, this is what I find very attractive. Attractive body is just a nice bonus of these attractive personality traits.


The problem is, there is no even playing field.

E.G.
People with more efficient metabolisms find it easier to keep in shape.
People who have been psychologically abused have more trouble "getting their shite together".
People who have low incomes tend to eat poorly, encouraging greater fat development.
People may not have the required knowledge to effectively lose weight.

Simple discipline is simply one factor in the equation. 8)


Yes, I'm aware of that. What I'm trying to do is level the field.

I think she is beautiful as is, she has stunning eyes, beautiful smile, gorgeous hair, nice lovely face. But at the same time I believe she should be on a healthy diet and exercise regularly for her own well being on fundamental level. It has nothing to do with superficial beauty standards or my aesthetic preferences. Yes, I think if she would lose excess weight, she would be just drop dead gorgeous. But weight loss and conventionally attractive shape would be just a nice side effect of being healthy and happy. If later she would decide she actually wants to be big and strong AF, instead of being conventionally beautiful, would put a lot of effort into gaining 60 lbs of muscles while being able to dead lift twice her weight, I would actually see it as it not being a slave to society's beauty standards. Yes, I personally don't find huge strong women attractive, but I would respect her decision to get bigger to achieve her goals if that's more important for her than compliance to conventional beauty standards.
And yes, I respect her decision to be in whatever shape she decided to be, but I personally will always doubt that decision as being genuine. There is a huge difference between decision you make, working to achieve it and self-serving bias, justifying situation you are already in.


As far as looks I don’t think she needs to lose weight. She is already beautiful. I can see your point about being healthy. Sometimes people can eat healthy and still be a little bigger though.


While there are exceptions, the reality is, most men prefer their partner to be more normal/average in weight.
But people can get lucky, yes. 8)

As I keep on saying, most relationships are superficial.
This is the nature of the human beast.
Whatcha gunna do? :scratch: :mrgreen:



wowiexist
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12 Nov 2021, 4:53 pm

Pepe wrote:
wowiexist wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
Pepe wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
Minervx_2 wrote:
Most of the people in this thread are missing the point! You are all quibbling about bone structure and body shape, but that's irrelevant here.

She shouldn't feel like she's any less of a person because of her body. And you shouldn't be discouraged from dating just because you feel like your body is imperfect. There are a lot of guys who would date her as she is right now.


I think of being overweight due to lifestyle choices as a personality, not physical flaw. This kind of self-neglect is incompatible with my values. Ability to overcome your bad habits, cravings, to stick with a diet and exercise regimen is indication of discipline and motivation, caring about your physical and mental health, this is what I find very attractive. Attractive body is just a nice bonus of these attractive personality traits.


The problem is, there is no even playing field.

E.G.
People with more efficient metabolisms find it easier to keep in shape.
People who have been psychologically abused have more trouble "getting their shite together".
People who have low incomes tend to eat poorly, encouraging greater fat development.
People may not have the required knowledge to effectively lose weight.

Simple discipline is simply one factor in the equation. 8)


Yes, I'm aware of that. What I'm trying to do is level the field.

I think she is beautiful as is, she has stunning eyes, beautiful smile, gorgeous hair, nice lovely face. But at the same time I believe she should be on a healthy diet and exercise regularly for her own well being on fundamental level. It has nothing to do with superficial beauty standards or my aesthetic preferences. Yes, I think if she would lose excess weight, she would be just drop dead gorgeous. But weight loss and conventionally attractive shape would be just a nice side effect of being healthy and happy. If later she would decide she actually wants to be big and strong AF, instead of being conventionally beautiful, would put a lot of effort into gaining 60 lbs of muscles while being able to dead lift twice her weight, I would actually see it as it not being a slave to society's beauty standards. Yes, I personally don't find huge strong women attractive, but I would respect her decision to get bigger to achieve her goals if that's more important for her than compliance to conventional beauty standards.
And yes, I respect her decision to be in whatever shape she decided to be, but I personally will always doubt that decision as being genuine. There is a huge difference between decision you make, working to achieve it and self-serving bias, justifying situation you are already in.


As far as looks I don’t think she needs to lose weight. She is already beautiful. I can see your point about being healthy. Sometimes people can eat healthy and still be a little bigger though.


While there are exceptions, the reality is, most men prefer their partner to be more normal/average in weight.
But people can get lucky, yes. 8)

As I keep on saying, most relationships are superficial.
This is the nature of the human beast.
Whatcha gunna do? :scratch: :mrgreen:


I don’t agree that relationships are superficial. The initial attraction probably is, but a relationship can’t be successful unless there is something deeper.



Pepe
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12 Nov 2021, 4:58 pm

wowiexist wrote:
Pepe wrote:
wowiexist wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
Pepe wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
Minervx_2 wrote:
Most of the people in this thread are missing the point! You are all quibbling about bone structure and body shape, but that's irrelevant here.

She shouldn't feel like she's any less of a person because of her body. And you shouldn't be discouraged from dating just because you feel like your body is imperfect. There are a lot of guys who would date her as she is right now.


I think of being overweight due to lifestyle choices as a personality, not physical flaw. This kind of self-neglect is incompatible with my values. Ability to overcome your bad habits, cravings, to stick with a diet and exercise regimen is indication of discipline and motivation, caring about your physical and mental health, this is what I find very attractive. Attractive body is just a nice bonus of these attractive personality traits.


The problem is, there is no even playing field.

E.G.
People with more efficient metabolisms find it easier to keep in shape.
People who have been psychologically abused have more trouble "getting their shite together".
People who have low incomes tend to eat poorly, encouraging greater fat development.
People may not have the required knowledge to effectively lose weight.

Simple discipline is simply one factor in the equation. 8)


Yes, I'm aware of that. What I'm trying to do is level the field.

I think she is beautiful as is, she has stunning eyes, beautiful smile, gorgeous hair, nice lovely face. But at the same time I believe she should be on a healthy diet and exercise regularly for her own well being on fundamental level. It has nothing to do with superficial beauty standards or my aesthetic preferences. Yes, I think if she would lose excess weight, she would be just drop dead gorgeous. But weight loss and conventionally attractive shape would be just a nice side effect of being healthy and happy. If later she would decide she actually wants to be big and strong AF, instead of being conventionally beautiful, would put a lot of effort into gaining 60 lbs of muscles while being able to dead lift twice her weight, I would actually see it as it not being a slave to society's beauty standards. Yes, I personally don't find huge strong women attractive, but I would respect her decision to get bigger to achieve her goals if that's more important for her than compliance to conventional beauty standards.
And yes, I respect her decision to be in whatever shape she decided to be, but I personally will always doubt that decision as being genuine. There is a huge difference between decision you make, working to achieve it and self-serving bias, justifying situation you are already in.


As far as looks I don’t think she needs to lose weight. She is already beautiful. I can see your point about being healthy. Sometimes people can eat healthy and still be a little bigger though.


While there are exceptions, the reality is, most men prefer their partner to be more normal/average in weight.
But people can get lucky, yes. 8)

As I keep on saying, most relationships are superficial.
This is the nature of the human beast.
Whatcha gunna do? :scratch: :mrgreen:


I don’t agree that relationships are superficial. The initial attraction probably is, but a relationship can’t be successful unless there is something deeper.


We will have to agree to disagee. 8)



Chummy
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12 Nov 2021, 5:25 pm

I don't see why not. Of course you can always eat more healthy, hit and the gym regularly and lose weight if that's something you'd like... but since people are often opting for proportional looking partners you can easily find a similar looking date where you'd both be attracted to each other.



Pepe
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12 Nov 2021, 5:51 pm

Chummy wrote:
I don't see why not. Of course you can always eat more healthy, hit and the gym regularly and lose weight if that's something you'd like... but since people are often opting for proportional looking partners you can easily find a similar looking date where you'd both be attracted to each other.


Good point.
Hunt within your league. 8)



xxZeromancerlovexx
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14 Nov 2021, 12:38 pm

You can’t really see but this is how I’m shaped

Image

Image

Keep in mind, clothes can make people look slimmer


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14 Nov 2021, 12:51 pm

You look nice, I don't believe anything about your appearance is holding you back.


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xxZeromancerlovexx
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14 Nov 2021, 2:42 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
You look nice, I don't believe anything about your appearance is holding you back.


Thank you. I’m having a rough day but you and other people’s nice compliments on this thread made me feel better.

To answer some unanswered questions:

No, I was never involved in the goth or metal scene. I love bands like Amaranthe and The Birthday Massacre but other than that, I dress like a cheerful and happy girl. I never went through the emo phase in high school and I just wanted to look intimidating because I was desperate for attention.

Happy now?


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