Would you date me if I were at my goal weight of 140?

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I became a lot more EMOish & had more EMO friends in my early 20s than I did in my teens & I turned 20 at the end of 2003. These days thou I'm gravitating more towards the old-skewl hardcore punk culture. If you guys paid attention to my music & non music posts I've made on WP over the years you've probably noticed I'm regressing cultural wise but whatever.

Getting back to the weight topic. Having good health & being at an attractive weight can not always easily coexist together. A lot of us autistics do tend to have various comorbid mental health issues like depression, anxiety, OCD, & problems with stress to name a few. Those things can have a direct affect on our eating & lifestyle habits which of corse could have a major impact on our weight. Sometimes we need to do things to benefit our mental health that can have a negative effect on our weight & physical fitness. Our comfort foods may be unhealthy & our special interests & our preferred less stressful jobs involve us being less physically active. Also lots of psychiatric meds that treat things like depression, anxiety, OCD, & stress issues can potentially have a direct effect on our weight without us changing any of our lifestyle or eating habits. Sometimes we do end up making a choice between being at a healthy normal attractive weight while having lots of negative mental health problems; Or we have better mental health at the expense of us being over or underweight. The latter would be much more attractive to me.

I think it would be fair to rephrase this as many women say that money/looks/status don't matter. I would, however, be naive to go into the dating scene thinking that is really the case.

I think you have a nice body as well. You are beautiful in every way.

Agreed.

This is a load of BS.

Having a good physical and mental health and having excess fat can not coexist together. Adipose tissue is your largest endocrine organ, excess fat directly contributes to onset of clinical depression among other things.

Comfort foods do not benefit your mental health, this is form of food addiction. Consuming meth gives you a temporary mood fix too, but obviously it doesn't benefit your mental health at all.

If less stressful job is sedentary, you should exercise to compensate.

Majority of meds for depression and anxiety make depression and anxiety worse long term. If you have to choose between healthy weight and exercising regularly or taking SSRIs, you should choose healthy weight and exercise every time, because SSRIs just do not work when there is nothing to re-uptake. If you can improve your serotonin and norepinephrine with exercise, you are better off without SSRIs at all.

Metalhead =/= Emo

Goth =/= Emo

Mixing metal, goth and emo up together, calling a metalhead or a goth emo or being a metalhead or goth an “emo phase” is the intend of mockery and insult or a genuine lack of knowledge. Back then this insult mostly came from rap & hip hop fans, jocks and bimbos.

Emos had a completely different (in my opinion obnoxious and whiny) attitude and subculture and also listened to entirely different music which was vastly unpopular in both the metal and goth scene. I (unfortunately) came into contact with quite some emos and those individuals were very unpleasant, unfunny, thin-skinned people who took everything dead serious and were overly dramatic and emotional and some even arrogant believing themselves superior because they were more in touch with their emotions or some s**t. I never got along with them at all and they didn’t get along with me or most other metal heads for that matter as their overly emotional, whiny subculture was basically the direct antithesis to metal. There was also a general attention whoring going on with the emos which I too disliked especially when it came to self-harming just to parade the wounds around, constantly announcing to be suicidal and going to commit suicide all to get some pity points from the surroundings and other such deplorable things too many emos tended to do. (Yes, I actually witnessed them doing that.)

What does dressing up cheerful and happy mean by the way? Overly colourful? I’m just curious as I don’t ascribe emotions to clothes, I just wear whatever I like and is comfortable. And because neither of those ladies looks dressed “unhappy” to me in the slightest…






[/spoiler]
All of them are female metal musicians by the way.

Or are you literally meaning something like this by dressing like a “cheerful” and “happy girl":
[spoiler]




This I personally find very unaesthetic and completely infantile.
I don't like bright colourful stuff to start with.
I stick with Goethe’s colour theory in this regards, who said:”Only children and simple people like bright colours.”

The last pic reminds me of some anime & cosplay outfits I've seen which can be very attractive sometimes but so can darker outfits like the 1st two pix in your post

Stereotypical heavy metal look is just as unaesthetic and infantile for people who are not fans of the genre, I'm aware of that even though I personally like this look.

Goethe was an ultimate emo, though. "Simple people like bright colors" is an example of what you describe as "some even arrogant believing themselves superior because they were more in touch with their emotions or some s**t."

What is the stereotypical heavy metal look to you? I'm curious.




What else can I do to make an obvious joke obvious other than to mark it with those ":lol: " ?
Because it apparently failed.
I don't actually believe in Goethe's colour theory, I just think it's funny.

To revert back to your original question, it really couldn't hurt to try. The longer you wait the harder its going to be.

And about "cheerful and happy" part. ^

And when I say there are people who find it "unaesthetic and infantile" you should know I look like the last guy from this photo dressed as the second guy. I'm aware that majority don't care about my look, like 20-30% think it is "unaesthetic and infantile" maybe 5-10% actually like my look.

And you honestly think that the way these women look




is commonly viewed as just as infantile as this



by those not into metal music?

I absolutely doubt that and couldn’t disagree more! I don't even have words for just how much I disagree with this sentiment.

I also doubt and couldn’t disagree more that the average Joe would find those equally as unaesthetic.

In fact I know enough people not really into the subculture who think that style I posted and you apparently refered to aesthetic. Even older people 50+ find Taarja Turunen and her style beautiful by the way.

I honestly expected something very weird and ridiculous and unrealistic as the stereotypical heavy metal style from you now based off of your claim.

As far as your cheerful remark goes you just rated their facial expression just now.


Does this make the clothing she’s wearing more cheerful and happy now? x’D What a cheerful shirt

Unaesthetic and infantile? I love plushies, Hello Kitty, Moomin, Monchhichi (I’m getting my first one with my Christmas money. I named her Ribbon after the fairy from the N64 Kirby game), unicorns, baby animals, bunnies, Disney and get easily attached to my Pokémon and Neopets. I also love Pusheen.

I’m naturally that way and I don’t find any of that simple. Most of my female friends chose to do the ladylike, glow up crap. That’s their fault because they had kids.

My point was it is wrong and infantile in itself to judge any look you don't like as "Unaesthetic and infantile".

On your original question, I suggest something that would help you to make an informed decision: imagine you are at your goal weight already, really try to feel it. Then ask yourself a question: would you go out of your way to reach your current weight with some weight gaining diet? Would you sacrifice some of your health, because this is what you really believe is better reflection of your personality and your values or would help you to achieve something important for you? E.g. Christian Bale gained a ton of weight for Dick Cheney role because his method acting, recognition as actor, possible academy awards are more important for him than damage to his health. What your motivation would be?

Even if you really don't care about beauty standards, and this is not a factor at all, your health is. Unless there are reasons outweighing your health, this should be your goal. Weight loss is not that hard or stressful and doesn't take a toll on mental health when executed properly, "weight loss or mental health" is false dilemma.

What you have said is interesting, but...

I stick with Goethe’s colour theory in this regards, who said:”Only children and simple people like bright colours.”

Quite a number of extroverts and narcissistic individuals like to draw attention to themselves by using bright colours. Geothe was not a psychologist.