Were you rejected for autism?

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Were you rejected by any other autistic men or just that one? I notice that autistic women on these forums are less interested in dating autistic men than the other way around so you might have better luck meeting an autistic man on tlhis forum, especially if you were to make the 1st move & reach out & message some guys you find interesting. That's what my current girlfriend did with me.

The only openly autistic one, but not the only suspected one.

No, I'm done making effort. I'm quite content on my own.

I realised that I made a lot of effort, reaching out, organising, starting conversations and nothing was ever enough.

I've had enough.

Yeah I just got dumped yesterday. He said "get your things and leave and never come back. I'm sick of your BS." My "BS" being the ways I cope with the world as an autistic person I guess. Because I don't do any BS. I just have to try to survive in a human environment that is agonizing for me, and I've explained to him so many times but I guess he thinks I'm just dramatic. I don't know.

Sorry for the long reply. Really hurt right now.

My last relationship ended similarly.

I've been rejected due to my autism before. A lot of people don't understand it and assume that I am just choosing to have the issues that I have.

I'm really sorry. I hope you have somewhere to go if you were living with him. What he said does sound harsh to me. I wonder if he ever tried to learn anything about your autism. A caring supportive partner would try to understand you & be willing to hear you out. Perhaps you would have better luck with a fellow autistic partner or someone who isn't NT at least. Of corse no two autistics are exactly the same since autism is a spectrum but a lot of us can relate to living in a word that is not designed for us at least. There's a reason this forum is called Wrong Planet after all. My 2nd girlfriend was autistic & we had lots of clashes but my current girlfriend is on the spectrum as well or as least has lots of overlapping issues & we understand each other better than anyone else ever has. We are each other's best friends & best people to live with & be around alot. I'm NOT recommending that you jump into another relationship thou, I was just suggesting for down the road when you are ready for another one. Take some time for yourself now if you can to do what you need to make yourself feel better. Indulge yourself in your special interests, stim, cry, make a thread ranting about it on here, whatever.

That is very frustrating. I sure was majorly frustrated being single & trying my best but getting nowhere. There were many times I've thought about giving up or trying to have a gay relationship since gay guys were the only people who were interested in me. Every person seemed to have a different opinion of what my real root problem was. As I mentioned recently in another thread, people tried to lump me into various categories that I never fit nice & neat into.

I was rejected for being the brother of petty criminals, for having a skin condition that made me look like a leper and smell like dead fish, for being the local bullies' favorite punching-bag, and for making other students look ignorant.

I was rejected in college not high school. It depends on what you mean by rejected. There were several girls in high school who wanted to be friends/flirt a bit without dating and I think that's just fine.

College was where I realized I actually had autism, and I got treated like crap. My theory is that the people in high school knew me since elementary school and were used to my quirks.

Didn't matter that I was treated like crap in college. I managed to meet a cute girl with autism at the college and had a romantic fling with her. Does that make me the man? No it doesn't, it is what it is. Funny thing is I think neither of us knew the other had autism, I was just hanging out with her as a friend because I had actually never met a lady who seemed similar to me.

So my point is that things can happen, some things bad some things good. Just because people reject you it will never bar you from continuing to try.

There were three times I suspected it was because of that particularly, but cannot be absolutely certain.

Sorry to hear about your breakup. Sometimes it's hard to understand each other even as autistic people, very different people who dont have similar struggles might just not be able to cope themselves with the differences of us.

Maybe so, maybe not.

Only two people who rejected me gave an explanation, and autism was not mentioned. Of course, they could have just been alibis, but it isn't like I can get inside their minds.

That is awful! Such people IMO need to be more understanding that the spectrum is real.

Example: My two bigoted uncles who believe that the spectrum isn't real, that the only way for a man to truly "man up" (spectrum and NT alike) is to enlist in the US Armed Forces (which is something I'm glad I didn't do) and that the only way for a woman to be truly be happy is to settle down before doing anything else in her life.

My wife thinks I should have been in the Army, too. Her father was in the Trinidad and Tobago Army.

The only reason: Because, then, I would have learned to make a bed properly!

with all due respect, your "two bigoted uncles" know NOTHING. i've been in the army and it didn't "make me a man" in any way, shape or form. it was just something i endured for 4 years, is all, rather like a sentence of indentured servitude for uncle sam.

i learned how to "make a bed properly" i.e. a 4-hospital-cornered bed tight enough to bounce a quarter off of, all you need is blousing rubbers underneath. gee, some great skill that is. anyways, it taught me to NEVER EVER make a bed like that for the rest of my natural days.

LOL....When my wife is gone, I NEVER make my bed