Here's the problem

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There’s a huge difference between friendship with no mutual attraction vs friendship with mutual attraction. The former rarely leads to anything.

Indeed. Another reality is that we aren't usually seen as "attractive" or "desirable" people. As a result, we get less slack and more flack than most people do when it comes to social mistakes. Society can pay lip service to equity all they want, but we don't treat people the same. Something we generally refuse to acknowledge.

So much generalization.
Do you really think autistic women get asked on dates all the time?
And I know several women who are not autistic and never get asked out either.

You think society is forgiving of women who are not cute, spontaneous and know exactly how to respond in social situations? Think again.

In many cases they are. A woman who does her own thing is often- except in very religious situations- lauded as "independent" and "strong." Sorry, I am not going to pretend that women get the same leeway as men do.

You have no idea.
None.

Again, where did I say the words "in all cases?" nowhere. And I do understand what you're saying. I simply don't agree. Especially since gender roles have not completely disappeared. Far from it.

Where do I talk about 'doing their own thing'?
I talked about women who are not cute, spontaneous and know exactly how to respond in social situations.

Women have their own challenges and autistic women have as well.

I do know one secret about most women: men who feel sorry for themselves all the time and whose whole image of society is that they have it so much harder, without paying much attention to what women are really saying, are considered unattractive by most women.
The plus side of this, is that men who do this can change, by listening to women without making it a competition and remove at least this barrier that is not helpful at all.

For a decade in my early life, I was trying to simply survive, literally.
Looking for a relationship was a distant second priority if it was on the radar at all.
Make of that what you will.

I think this dead horse has been beaten into pulp by now. Dating as a 40-year old won't be easy.

For every "type" of woman you will seek you will have to have desirable qualities that "type" seeks. This is perfectly fair, as you've stated that you have your own preferences too.

Relevant to this thread, the women that will be single in an age group you desire will be in places where they can't find a suitable man. Usually that's in less prosperous parts of the world, for one reason or another, where there are "good for nothing" men. In that case you just have to make sure you're not one of those "good for nothing" types.

Indeed.

Agreed.

Good you prioritized what was most important.

Hope things are going better for you now.

Don’t they use Tinder?

"Don’t they use Tinder?"

Yes they do, as much do. More often than not though, that's another reason why it's easier. Many more men than women on Tinker and on the dating sites in general.

I haven't been suicidal for over 35 years.
While I do feel sadness, I never get *depressed* these days, ever.
When you have been in the "Pit of Despair" for a decade, it raises your threshold of emotional pain, I guess.

Q: Why did the person hit his/her head against a brick wall?
A: It felt so good when he/she stopped, by comparison.

I have "bigger fish to fry" than worrying about not having a relationship.