Why its too late for me

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My point is to put these instincts/urges in perspective.
I have an urge to be with Claudia Schiffer, but that isn't going to happen.

And as countless people have said in the past, finding a partner has no guarantee of a fulfilling and satisfying future.
Most relationships fail with the devastating emotional consequences that come with that.

I understand you want to find out for yourself, and maybe you would be one of the lucky ones, but it still doesn't change the fact that the evolutionary process has us on a hook and is playing with us.

I have never committed to this life system and never will.
I am merely doing the best that I can with the cards dealt me.
Others have experienced much, much worse.



Your logic is faulty, and I never suggested that.

Many people gain satisfaction in just having friends and helping people.
Wanting to experience orgasmic/romantic bliss is a much more selfish ambition.
I know which one I appreciate more.



You said you have friends.
Clearly, you aren't a repulsive person.
You simply can't attract a partner you want.
Join the club.



Have you considered deeper supportive friendships instead?
Life is not all about sex.
Err, maybe it is, lol, but it is only one aspect of life.
Don't you enjoy having friends?

the OP is processing his emotions so it doesn't behoove any of us to criticize him for this that he has to do for himself. let him speak and emote.

It has been scientifically proven that lonely people live significantly shorter lifespans. I always have been and always will be alone and unwanted, and it is literally killing me.

I can either continue to wallow in my misery for more years as entropy slowly eats away at me, or I can make the choice to end my life now on my own terms.

One of those options is astronomically less appealing than the other.

all i know is my experience with a fellow aspie group member who decided he couldn't live with himself anymore, so he took a 20 ga. shotgun, braced the buttstock in a corner, stuck the muzzle in his mouth and toed the trigger. but what happened is somehow, the shotgun muzzle shifted upwards at that point and instead it blew his face off, barely avoiding his eyes by some miracle. he and his vision survived but the middle of his face is gone, replaced by a yawning hole. he useta be a hot-lookin' cat but not so much anymore, and the worst thing is brain damage so he is in a group home now, knowing what he useta be. human bodies are surprisingly tough to kill. for the most part, suicide attempts are a crap shoot, with some success but much statistical failure ranging from sad to tragic.
i am certainly naive for my age or any age, but i had high hopes that wrong planet could be a place where people who were feeling way down could get support from other members here and find a kind of emotional nourishment sufficient to wanna stick around.

I have been gang stalked in RL for around 50 years and harassed online since the internet went mainstream, and yet here I still am.

Psychologically and physically bullied.
Was at the receiving end of a man-made car accident that put me in hospital.
Was mercilessly harassed while my father was dying of cancer.
Most of my deeper relationships/friendships were deliberately sabotaged.
Humiliated, intimidated, manipulated, but here I am even stronger *because* of the abuse by those in a position of power.

Nietzche said: "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
I tend to agree.

I don't think I am better than you.
I simply have more life experience and developed an F-you attitude towards my abusers.
It may help to give this obscene life system the bird, also.
Develop an attitude of defiance, without being hateful.

This is not a criticism of you.
I am merely sharing what I have had to go through.

I'm twice your age with a deep well of experience in regard to this unfortunate world we did not choose to be born into.

You are in a position of power over your direction in life.
I suggest you become proactive rather than reactive.

If what I am saying does not resonate with you, ignore it.
If what I say disturbs or offends you, simply tell me and I will not respond again.
I am happy with anything/k you choose.
You have the power.

Pax.

That's because trying to use his foot to shoot himself with a shotgun was extremely stupid. If he just used a pistol he wouldn't have ended up in that position.



The opposite happened to me. The psychological abuse from my ex-fiancé left me much worse than I was before I met her.

I have never been suicidal. However, after my wife, the love of my life, left me, in the darkest hours of my depression on my way to losing everything, there were many mornings when I spoke to God and said "God, if you want to come for me today to take me home, I am ready to go with you." That's how I dealt with my depression. It's a way of thinking which addresses despair while leaving the door open a crack.

And what club would that be?!

Everyone I know, including my sisters (both of whom are younger than me); everyone I grew up with; everyone I went to school or college with; have all gotten married and started families no less than 15 years ago.

Emphasis on the verb "attract". It is something that you have to do.

some of us just don't have the "attraction" or "connection genes, period. some things can't be taught and these social things are those things, if it is not inborn in one [i.e. one is born lacking the social intelligence module], it is rather like trying to recognize faces without a facial recognition module [people with prosopagnosia].

The autism club

« Nearly half of adults with autism live with a family member and about one in five is unemployed, according to a new analysis1. Only 5 percent have ever been married »

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/jobs- ... utism/amp/

While you may never be an equal socially to NT people this doesn't stop you from serenading your interest.

I disagree with the assessment that social skills can't be taught. They absolutely can be. The issue is that most people with an ASD have to be taught them as if they are an academic subject. This is unfortunately a foreign concept to most "neurotypicals" for whom the very notion, the very idea that people "just learn them naturally" is absurd and unthinkable.

you have to serenade your interest IN THE RIGHT WAY,* and THAT is what is lacking, due to aforementioned lack of social relations module and mirror neurons. it is like expecting a tone-deaf person to learn music. just doesn't work that way, no amount of horatio alger will fix this.

*a complicated subject, this. i am reminded of a kilgore trout** story whose moral was the perils of failing to communicate properly, it about an ET named zog, who came from the planet mongo, where the natives communicate via farts and tap-dancing. zog was out in his saucer on a planet-scouting mission when he lands on earth right across the street from a house afire. he is a well-meaning good Samaritan as are all from his planet, and he bounds out of his saucer and runs up to the house, bangs on the door, farting and tap-dancing wildly, desperately trying to warn the homeowners of the imminent danger they were in, and the homeowner opened the door and witnessed this alien display with alarm, and promptly brained zog with a golf club.

**creation of Kurt Vonnegut in his novel "Breakfast of Champions"

Only basic social skills can be taught. Liking knowing when to say "please" or "thank you". Understanding things like eye contact, body language, tone and intonation of voice may slightly improve after a lifetime of experience, but will never approach the level neurotypicals instinctively operate on. Neurotypical children have to be taught to say please and thank you, but not how to understand unconscious social cues that convey happiness, excitement, disinterest, sadness, anger, or disgust. Then there's the issue of stimming, which most of us cannot mask without experiencing heightened anxiety. And neurotypicals will never make any effort to even meet us halfway; we are fully expected to do all the work so that they don't have to feel inconvenienced by our existence.

If only someone here had figured out how to treat their ASD symptoms and then shared how-to with the forum for the last decade.. if only - if only there were something others could try to see if it in fact had positive life changing affects on their social, work, love and sex lives.

If only..