I don't care for "Love on the Spectrum"

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MaxE
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20 Mar 2022, 11:54 am

I've given this some thought and concluded that a relationship between 2 people on the autism spectrum could be very successful but only if both are diagnosed and plan up front to avoid pitfalls. Otherwise one or the other will probably "stray" at some point. I could talk about this at length and may if I find more time.


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cyberdad
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20 Mar 2022, 3:33 pm

MaxE wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
The reason these are blind dates is because the participants need introductions otherwise they will remain dateless, The whole purpose of the date is to get to know the other person so no it's big deal.

The only person from season one who I was a little surprised participated was Chloe who seemed quite confident and presentable enough to attract any male or female partner.

You certain you don't mean Kassandra?


Kassandra too. I didn't get why Chloe or Cassandra needed help finding a date? sounded like they both just wanted to be on TV



auntblabby
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20 Mar 2022, 3:56 pm

just what kind of "autistic" person wants to be seen on TV? methinks they are just bein' big fish in a little pond.



Muse933277
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20 Mar 2022, 7:27 pm

jamesebtrout wrote:
Blind dates can work if the pair have something in common. The big issue remains that too many people are stuck in the belief that just having Autism in common is enough.



I agree.

Many will assume that two people will get along as friends or be compatible as dating partners just because both people are autistic, and this definitely is not the case at all. Autistic people can be much different from each other when many people just assume that we are all the same and that we'll bond over our shared autism diagnosis. That's probably why the blind date with another autistic girl I was set up with ultimately failed. The people matchmaking us just assumed that since we're both autistic, we would have a lot in common, when it was quite the opposite. We couldn't have been more different from each other in terms of personality, lifestyle, and values and ultimately, it led to a terrible experience.



Summer_Twilight
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21 Mar 2022, 7:33 am

I remember when this family, who I went to church with, told me to date another member simply because we were disabled. After that, I never wanted to speak with them again.


I have also seen people introduce two disabled adults out of pity.



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23 Mar 2022, 7:52 pm

jamesebtrout wrote:
I just finished "Love on the Spectrum." I found it to be underwhelming. The bulk of the participants don't have a university education and the producers of the show seem to be incapable of accepting that people on the Spectrum often want to date people who aren't on the Spectrum or don't have a disability.


I haven't seen the show, accept for one episode so far, but why would the producers only be interested in setting them up with people on the spectrum only, if that's the case?



cyberdad
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23 Mar 2022, 7:56 pm

ironpony wrote:
jamesebtrout wrote:
I just finished "Love on the Spectrum." I found it to be underwhelming. The bulk of the participants don't have a university education and the producers of the show seem to be incapable of accepting that people on the Spectrum often want to date people who aren't on the Spectrum or don't have a disability.


I haven't seen the show, accept for one episode so far, but why would the producers only be interested in setting them up with people on the spectrum only, if that's the case?


That was a concern I had. Its suggesting nobody could love an autistic person unless they were autistic.



ironpony
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23 Mar 2022, 8:05 pm

But what is the point of going with that theme though, if that's the case? If they went the other way, and tried to get them dates with non-autistic people, wouldn't you then have a more say 'forbidden romance' angle to play off of? Not really forbidden of course, but I mean just breaking more of a social barrier when it comes to romance, which will make it more interesting?



cyberdad
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23 Mar 2022, 8:24 pm

ironpony wrote:
Not really forbidden of course, but I mean just breaking more of a social barrier when it comes to romance, which will make it more interesting?


In reality most autistic people would be looking for somebody who is NT (just based on the numbers). As I noted, at least two of the females on the show really wouldn't have a problem dating an NT guy. I think they just want to be on TV.



old_comedywriter
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23 Mar 2022, 8:30 pm

Once again, autism does NOT guarantee compatibility. I've seen people on the spectrum locked up in irreconcilable arguments over and over - including my mother and my grandfather. The "stubborn know-it-all" type of Asperger's runs in my family.


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jamesebtrout
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23 Mar 2022, 8:47 pm

Of course Autism doesn't guarantee compatibility in relationships. Try telling that to much of mainstream society and even to some disability "experts" though. They just can't let go of the fact that not everyone on the Spectrum is the exact same person.



ironpony
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23 Mar 2022, 10:09 pm

But if they restrict the contestants' (if that's the right word) to only being allowed to date a certain type of woman while on the show, doesn't that increase the risk of them finding someone on their own time, and that romance can then interfere with the show, should they decide to become exclusive?



cyberdad
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24 Mar 2022, 1:04 am

jamesebtrout wrote:
Of course Autism doesn't guarantee compatibility in relationships. Try telling that to much of mainstream society and even to some disability "experts" though. They just can't let go of the fact that not everyone on the Spectrum is the exact same person.


In some ways it can make things harder.

People may be surprised, but NTs are actually more flexible than autistic people (and more willing to compromise) if they like you.



ironpony
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24 Mar 2022, 1:11 am

More flexible how so?



cyberdad
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24 Mar 2022, 3:51 am

ironpony wrote:
More flexible how so?


NTs are less fixated about things



jamesebtrout
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24 Mar 2022, 11:50 am

That's less of an Autism thing and more of a human thing. Humans regardless of whether you are Autistic or "neurotypical" tend to prefer being around humans they like and/or think are "cool." The issue that many of us on the Spectrum have is that we aren't generally seen as "cool" or "likeable" and generally don't accentuate high status behavior.