I don't care for "Love on the Spectrum"

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Let me repeat myself, my boyfriend and I are both on the spectrum and not because we have that in common. Rather, it's because we are compatible on so many levels. Additionally, we were attracted to each other from day 1.

Exactly. If the only thing you and he had in common is Autism, I doubt you two would be friends, let alone in a relationship.

Well more than that, we compliment each other

This raises an interesting point. Is it wise for an autistic person to look for a partner who is autistic?
Ultimately it's up to the individual but it's valid that if the only thing you have in common is autism then that's not a basis to build a life long relationship.

In my experience I'd say their are pros and cons. I found that an autistic person in dating can be more picky and unpredictable about things, but an NT will be less accepting of a person with autism, so there is that.

QFT.

are baby pics coming soon? [humor]

I think this issue is terribly over rated. Judging from WP there's a wide range of males and females who have NT partners. NTs are not all the caricatures created in the imaginations of people who avoid them. There are a lot of NTs who are introverted/lonely and crave friends/life partners. Many of these people are willing to compromise more than the average autistic person to make a relationship work.

That's true, and I was just going by my personal experiences of dating both so far.

Why do you think being autistic rules out wanting to be seen on TV?

There are plenty of autistic actors, for example. There are some theater companies that are made up specifically of autistic actors.

Also, long before I was aware of autism, I knew some people who had difficulty with ordinary conversation yet had no difficulty with being on-stage. I'm not sure whether those people were autistic, but I strongly suspect they were.

The ability to perform well on stage, even while having difficulties with ordinary conversation, might seem paradoxical to most people, as if the person had managed to do calculus without yet having learned algebra. However, such seemingly paradoxical combinations of skills and disabilities are common among autistic people.

I personally have no desire to be on TV, but I do have another, similar paradoxical-seeming (to most people) skill/disability combination: I tend to be better at leading a group than I am at participating in groups led by others. I have difficulties with participating in conversations involving more than two people. But when I'm leading a group, I'm in a position to structure things to accommodate my own difficulties.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 26 Mar 2022, 4:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I was curious in this show, how personal do they get with these people's dating lives. Do they go into the sex, the fighting, the more ugly personal stuff, etc?

Do you literally mean they must both be officially "diagnosed," or is a well-informed self-diagnosis just as good for this purpose?

I think it's important that both people be knowledgeable about autism. For example, reading up on autism helped me better understand my boyfriend's sensory issues.

Of course, it's also important to have more in common than just autism (and/or other demographic categories).

As far as personal life is concerned, they really don't go care that far, save the couple who get married at the end of Season 2. If anything, the fact that people on the Spectrum even date at all is treated as if it's the Eighth Wonder of the World. As has been stated before, this show wasn't designed with people on the Spectrum in mind.

Except for two same-sex couples.

I welcome this question. So insofar as I am undiagnosed (please follow the link in my sig for the full story) I happen to believe that both my previous long-term relationships were with people who were on the spectrum (at the time I thought of them as girls but nowadays you can't use that word) however as that was the 70s nobody "high functioning" (another term I know I should avoid) was evaluated for autism per se, especially not female (I suppose). Interestingly, everyone else I got involved with, the "relationship" ended quickly, but those two relationships had some staying power, the 2nd more than 2 years. But at the same time, neither relationship involved any real exploration of true feelings, especially the 2nd one. The first girlfriend seemed to expect me to marry her, I suppose because I had taken her virginity (although I'm not convinced that was entirely true) and would cry about it, but later admitted to me that wanting to get married had been silly on her part. I point that out only because it would seem to argue against my premise, but I still claim there was never any true sharing of feelings. I can't recall ever seeing the other girlfriend cry for any reason, not even once, although I can't absolutely swear that I haven't forgotten. But I can confidently say that we never really discussed our feelings for each other in a frank manner. I think in her case she just projected feelings onto me that were consistent with what she wanted whereas in my case I stayed with her because I liked being with her and she was always nice to me. I can remember one time that we went to a Chinese restaurant and we'd both had some wine and starting gazing into each others' eyes, and an older couple sitting near us remarked (they were drinking heavily so didn't care that we heard) that we were in love with each other; and so I think the love was there but needed alcohol to come to the surface — but oddly enough, although I drank a lot when I was young I usually never felt the need to drink when I was with her.

My point is that had we been a couple, each of whom was aware of being on the spectrum, that we would probably have been aware of the communication issue and made a point of dealing with it. I hope that explains my previous assertion.

This feels out of place and confusing to me, so I need to ask: what do you mean by this?

If two people in a relationship don't fully understand each other then one of them is bound to have sex behind the others back? If this was your thought, why do you think that? I don't follow the logic..... why does lack of understanding = infidelity?

To be clear, I am not accusing or upset. I am just confused.