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Finding Places to Meet Women

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NeantHumain
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11 Sep 2007, 11:04 pm

Pugly wrote:
Todd489 wrote:
Whoever said college is an idiot. Let me tell you how college works for me. You run to your class because you only have ten minutes to get there and it's all the way across campus. You come in the room, and sit down. The professor is already lecturing. He doesn't shut up for about an hour, then as soon as he's done talking everyone picks up their things and goes. You run back across campus to your next class and repeat the process a few times, then you get in your car and drive home. Total time you can spend talking to people: 0 seconds. I had better opportunities to talk to women in high school. In college everyone is too busy and noone wants to have anything to do with you. College sucks.


Classes are terrible, but you might want to try the library.... or offering to help people with their classes.

I'm finding I get plenty of opportunities for interaction working in the tutoring center. It's really helped my social skills too...

Of course, I haven't taken the jump to actually starting a relationship with anyone... but it's given me much more positive interactions than anything else I've done. Well except one thing, but that's private...

Heh, I actually struck up conversations with girls in the university library all the time when I was in college. Actually, I think it got to the point where I was "infamous" for that, and people had a canned response of, "I'm trying to study; buzz off." For me, classes were similar as Todd489 described, so I liked to get there a little early and chat with classmates before the professor started lecturing (or after the lecture). Then again, commuter colleges apparently have a different mindset from universities with dormitories on campus (the kind of college I attended).



NeantHumain
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11 Sep 2007, 11:19 pm

calandale wrote:
Todd489 wrote:
Whoever said college is an idiot. ... College sucks.


Try sitting around outside,
looking really unique.

You meet people.

It is extremely rare for someone to approach me for any reason at all. (No, I don't look freaky, and, yes, I do practice hygiene.) I have found the best solution to this is for me to actively approach people. This approach enabled me to overcome my shyness in college although this does not in itself make one friends, as I've discovered.

I definitely don't have the kind of personality that enjoys dressing "goth" or "emo" or whatever weird-looking clique crap is around now. I tend to find women who dress that way less attractive for it.
calandale wrote:
Whether you can hold their interest
after that is a different question.

That's the tough part for us aspies. We have so much knowledge on subjects that interest us, but giving a dry lecture appeals to very few. The ability to make spontaneous smalltalk with someone I don't know is definitely not one of my strengths. My social strengths are humor (often dry or absurdist but occasionally also childish). Yesterday I was engaging in political discussion offline with a couple of aspies, and my sarcastic wit was in full force. Then again, that usually isn't the kind of social interaction that builds an intimate romantic relationship.



calandale
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11 Sep 2007, 11:27 pm

NeantHumain wrote:
It is extremely rare for someone to approach me for any reason at all. (No, I don't look freaky, and, yes, I do practice hygiene.) I have found the best solution to this is for me to actively approach people. This approach enabled me to overcome my shyness in college although this does not in itself make one friends, as I've discovered.


Bully for you! Really. I can't seem to manage this,
or when I choke up the courage to do so, am so
certain that I sound as fake as so many others
I see doing it.

Quote:
I definitely don't have the kind of personality that enjoys dressing "goth" or "emo" or whatever weird-looking clique crap is around now. I tend to find women who dress that way less attractive for it.


Not weird enough. I had to give up one of
my favorite styles of dress, when the goth
movement started going into wearing poet's
shirts and such.

My Red and White striped jacket ALWAYS draws
attention. Some bad, but most pretty damned
complementary.
Quote:
The ability to make spontaneous smalltalk with someone I don't know is definitely not one of my strengths.


More than that, I can't stand it.
Someone approaches me with
so little, and I almost always snub
them.

Quote:
My social strengths are humor (often dry or absurdist but occasionally also childish). Yesterday I was engaging in political discussion offline with a couple of aspies, and my sarcastic wit was in full force. Then again, that usually isn't the kind of social interaction that builds an intimate romantic relationship.


I don't know. I seem to have enraptured the
woman who became my wife through a philosophical
discussion. She didn't add much, but just was watching
me.



juliekitty
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11 Sep 2007, 11:58 pm

calandale wrote:
NeantHumain wrote:
It is extremely rare for someone to approach me for any reason at all. (No, I don't look freaky, and, yes, I do practice hygiene.) I have found the best solution to this is for me to actively approach people. This approach enabled me to overcome my shyness in college although this does not in itself make one friends, as I've discovered.


Bully for you! Really. I can't seem to manage this,
or when I choke up the courage to do so, am so
certain that I sound as fake as so many others
I see doing it.


Ditto.



calandale
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12 Sep 2007, 12:26 am

AND, there is nothing which seems
as immoral to me, as sounding that
fake.



LePetitPrince
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12 Sep 2007, 1:09 am

Quote:
Second, I agree it is bad advice for YOU, since you are outraged by the very idea of putting effort into your profile; /quote]

Here again , the typical female defense mechanism :.when you talk them about an issue they try to make you an issue . :roll:

Yes it is bad for me and for most guys . And yes I won't waste my time to put much effort in profile , pics and emails just to increase my chances a bit and probably would get nothing at the end. compris? ;)

Quote:
and I doubt you could hide your hostility against women long enough not to scare any girl away.[


Grrrrrrraaaaaaaaawwwwwww me hostile? GRRRRRRRRRRRRR no way aaaarrrrrrrrrr .

Why you are accusing me of having hostility against women? oh sorry , I forgot , another typical female defense mechanism ...my bad! anyways ,i am talking about the useless of dating sites ....not about women.


Quote:
However, I think it's good advice for aspies who are willing to put some time into it, and willing to accept that the numbers aren't in their favour.


ok , give them more false hopes , bravo.


Neathumain , I dunno ...you may try a social network like facebook ....I heard guys telling me that they met girls thro it but I personally hate it and don't use it anymore because it is a site for showing-off and stupidity .


Anyways Neathumain , don't concern a lot about this ...usually 'love' is not worth it ( and I don't personally believe in it) . Continue your life , focus on yourself , your skills , your jobs and continue your life....i am not saying to make no effort but don't make this as first priority in your life. This is what I am doing , if I ever will find a gf then it's good , if no then it's ok to me.



juliekitty
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12 Sep 2007, 9:40 am

LePetitPrince wrote:
Why you are accusing me of having hostility against women?


Oh, I don't know... maybe the fact that you've used the word "female" as a pejorative adjective THREE TIMES now?

And that every time, you've prefaced it with the word "typical", thereby signaling that you consider not only my thought processes, but those of nearly every other woman, to be contemptible simply by virtue of our gender?

That might be it.

Or maybe it's the fury you fly into at the thought of putting effort into attracting a woman?

Or the fact that when a woman tries to help by explaining what's required to get most women's attention online, you get angry at that woman and mock what she's saying?

Those are pretty strong indicators, too.



mark007
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12 Sep 2007, 10:05 am

Well no, you dont know! but she is right! When things are on our minds with out us even knowing it, we give things away by what and how we say things. You should take a step back, take a deep breath and look at yourself and the way you are towards others. If you we cant tell ourselves the truth who can we tell the truth to????



mark007
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12 Sep 2007, 10:14 am

:D In fact now that I have read the whole and I am more knowledgeable on the subject I can honestly say Littleprince Little Dick more like, :D



LePetitPrince
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12 Sep 2007, 12:41 pm

juliekitty wrote:
LePetitPrince wrote:
Why you are accusing me of having hostility against women?


Oh, I don't know... maybe the fact that you've used the word "female" as a pejorative adjective THREE TIMES now?

And that every time, you've prefaced it with the word "typical", thereby signaling that you consider not only my thought processes, but those of nearly every other woman, to be contemptible simply by virtue of our gender?

That might be it.

Or maybe it's the fury you fly into at the thought of putting effort into attracting a woman?

Or the fact that when a woman tries to help by explaining what's required to get most women's attention online, you get angry at that woman and mock what she's saying?

Those are pretty strong indicators, too.


or maybe I just love to tease you ? maybe?

and what's so bad in using the word 'female'? :D there's no shame to be female at all , I won't shoot u if you call me male you know :D ...i find this vocabulary sexy somehow , Miss Female ;) .



Last edited by LePetitPrince on 12 Sep 2007, 12:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LePetitPrince
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12 Sep 2007, 12:43 pm

mark007 wrote:
:D In fact now that I have read the whole and I am more knowledgeable on the subject I can honestly say Littleprince Little Dick more like, :D


oh no you're too wrong bro, my dick as erected can reach 17 cm so it's quite normal :D . Being 5'3'' only , sometimes I lose balance and fall on my front because of it :D



juliekitty
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12 Sep 2007, 2:45 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
A typical female reaction , when you talk them about facts about online dating world they blame the guys instead (and sous-entendu they blame you)....and they start blablabing pff :P "oh it's your fault guys " , " you are the losers guys " ," you need to use your magic to attract us online" , " you are not doing much effort guys" , " it's all guys' fault " , " you must write an interesting biography book on your profile, guys" , "stop complaining guys , it's your fault" ," we girls on these sites are DIAMONDS , so you guys need to make 24/7 effort in writing your profiles/emails in order to get little of our attention ...hihi" ..etc etc etc etc.


You posted that merely to tease me personally, and it indicates no hostility towards women in general?

Yeah, okay, if you say so.



LePetitPrince
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12 Sep 2007, 3:12 pm

juliekitty wrote:
LePetitPrince wrote:
A typical female reaction , when you talk them about facts about online dating world they blame the guys instead (and sous-entendu they blame you)....and they start blablabing pff :P "oh it's your fault guys " , " you are the losers guys " ," you need to use your magic to attract us online" , " you are not doing much effort guys" , " it's all guys' fault " , " you must write an interesting biography book on your profile, guys" , "stop complaining guys , it's your fault" ," we girls on these sites are DIAMONDS , so you guys need to make 24/7 effort in writing your profiles/emails in order to get little of our attention ...hihi" ..etc etc etc etc.


You posted that merely to tease me personally, and it indicates no hostility towards women in general?

Yeah, okay, if you say so.


What if I love to tease all women in this forum ? I won't date any1 of them after all you know ;) so i am not losing anything in teasing you all ;) .



calandale
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12 Sep 2007, 4:35 pm

juliekitty wrote:

You posted that merely to tease me personally, and it indicates no hostility towards women in general?

Yeah, okay, if you say so.


You've opened yourself up to it,
just by arguing. I often tease those
I'm in a disagreement with, no matter
what their gender.

Then again, I am a misanthrope. :P



dasanbe
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15 Sep 2007, 2:44 pm

Women are everywhere dude! Just talk to more of them alot.