I Would Prefer to Date an Autistic Guy, but...

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cyberdad
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06 Sep 2022, 8:54 pm

Diverse4Me wrote:

cyberdad wrote:

Zakatar wrote:

I don’t think you’ll find too many Autistics who are interested in conventions, a good many of us don’t like large crowds and loud noise, or don’t hate those things but can only handle them for short periods of time.

Fair point, I took my daughter to a convention in Melbourne and decided to leave as many of the girl's costumes were embarrassingly revealing.

Yeah, Although I am an embarrassingly late diagnosis, I never liked malls, or the crush of crowds.

CyberDad, embarrassing revealing to you or her!?

She probably wouldn't have noticed, IMHO, but yes, there is a tendency to be provocative!

Probably me

CJ27
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09 Sep 2022, 7:52 pm

Hi I am an autistic woman like you and I am dating an autistic guy. Yes it’s nice to have someone that understands the struggles of being autistic but i just feel an enormous amount of love for my boyfriend that has nothing to do with him being autistic. I mean it is a huge bonus but I love my boyfriend because he is extremely loving and affectionate towards me, my love language is physical touch and I am a hopeless romantic and I used to watch Nicholas Sparks movies and cry thinking that I would end up alone and just recently I watched the notebook while my boyfriend spooned and kissed my neck the entire time watching it. Another reason as to why my relationship is so beyond perfect is because he just like me has an insanely high sex drive and f***s me every single day. I was a lossless virgin before him and I had wanted to have sex so badly before I meet him that at one point I was sharpening a pencil and felt kind of jealous of the pencil sharpener always having something going in its hole lol. So with him I have said goodbye to sexual frustration and hello to deep penetration.

Agent_Elflord
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10 Sep 2022, 8:47 am

CJ27 wrote:

Good to hear you found someone very compatible with you!

The_Face_of_Boo
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10 Sep 2022, 12:48 pm

I wonder how many pms from single guys here the OP has received.

FantaOpossum
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10 Sep 2022, 1:44 pm

MaxE wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Who is your celeb crush so we can google him?

Probably Patton Oswalt.

Wrong, it's actually Paul Dano and George Mackay. (I think the former looks especially looks good with long hair and glasses, see him in Taking Lives.) I say mediocre, 'cause like. A lot of people consider Paul Dano to be kind of ugly.

I did not expect this thread to blow up, so to speak, haha.

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Last edited by FantaOpossum on 10 Sep 2022, 1:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.

FantaOpossum
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10 Sep 2022, 1:46 pm

cyberdad wrote:

FantaOpossum wrote:

I would prefer to date someone who has the same autistic struggles as me, 'cause they get it, you know? Someone to share special interests with and someone to drag to nerdy conventions and do couples cosplay with.

Do you attend cosplay conventions? that's surely a happy hunting ground for cosplay autistic men

Yeah, I've been to a few such as DragonCon. I met a few people there, but after I get their numbers the convo usually fizzles out fast.

Like I met this one guy who was dressed up in a British WWII uniform, and never did I try to get someone's number so fast in my life - mainly because he was non-white, and non-white men into WWII are a rarity from what I've noticed. (I say this cause a lot of white men who are into WWII tend to get all weird about it, no offense)
Anyways, we talked for a little but then he stopped responding.

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Last edited by FantaOpossum on 10 Sep 2022, 1:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

FantaOpossum
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10 Sep 2022, 1:47 pm

Nades wrote:

What did the autistic men look like with their overall physical appearance?

Just... not my type. A lot of bearded men, which is a huge turn off for me, personally.

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FantaOpossum
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10 Sep 2022, 1:54 pm

CJ27 wrote:

Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship! Wishing you both the best :heart:

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FantaOpossum
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10 Sep 2022, 1:56 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:

Some other autistic dating websites/apps besides Hiki:

- Uneepi
- AutismDate
- DisabledMate: Autism Dating Club

Also, although Wrong Planet is not a dating service, I would suggest that you edit your signature line to mention your special interests, not just your RAADS-R score.

Also I would suggest that you edit your WP profile to include your general geographic location. Don't be specific enough to endanger your privacy, but at least say which country you are in, and, if you are in a large country, which state/province/region and/or nearest major metro area.

TYSM! I appreciate the advice and resources. I've edited my signature, as per what you said.

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SkinnyElephant
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10 Sep 2022, 2:58 pm

FantaOpossum wrote:

(Just a small rant and some public musings, so don't get mad at me.)

I can't seem to find any autistic men I'm actually interested in dating. It breaks my heart 'cause I know we all tend to have it rough in the dating scene. I've seen the posts on here.

I would prefer to date someone who has the same autistic struggles as me, 'cause they get it, you know? Someone to share special interests with and someone to drag to nerdy conventions and do couples cosplay with. All of the men I've been romantically involved with so far, while they sure as hell aren't NT, they're not autistic either. My ex likely had undiagnosed ADHD and this guy I'm talking to at the moment is bipolar. (I met him through So Syncd, I recommend the app if you're willing to give online dating a shot.)

The autistic men I've talked to were not my type physically - which is saying a lot, considering my type of man I am attracted to is mediocre white men; Mom was not impressed with my ex's appearance by any means.

I've met a good autistic friend through Hiki, though. I also met some really creepy autistic men through that app as well. It's so weird I end up being friends with most of the autistic men I met, but never date them.

So as much as I'd love to have an autistic leftist furry boyfriend who looks like my mediocre white male celebrity crush, I don't think it's gonna happen. But hey, I can dream, right?

I'm going to address the part where you said you've met some creepy autistic men. I have a theory on why:

Men, in general, have a higher sex drive (for evolutionary reasons). While a lot of neurotypical men don't necessarily get sex as often as they'd like, they generally have a much easier time obtaining sex (and obtain sex way more often) than an autistic man.

For example, a few months without sex would be seen as a long time for a neurotypical man. An autistic man, however, could very well go years without sex.

A combination of higher sex drive (due to being a man) as well as long dry spells (due to being autistic) causes a lot of autistic men to act "creepy." He's most likely not trying to act creepy; he just really wants sex, is really frustrated with his long dry spell, and has a hard time hiding his desperation.

None of this means you're obligated to date an autistic man. As a man on the spectrum, I'm merely giving you insight onto why we might come across as creepy.

UncannyDanny
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10 Sep 2022, 3:09 pm

You say that bearded males turn you off, right?

Just HOW bearded? Long bearded, like Gimli or ZZ Top, or any bearded?

FantaOpossum
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10 Sep 2022, 3:41 pm

UncannyDanny wrote:

You say that bearded males turn you off, right?

Just HOW bearded? Long bearded, like Gimli or ZZ Top, or any bearded?

Literally any kind of beard is a huge no from me.

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UncannyDanny
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10 Sep 2022, 3:43 pm

...Not even scruffy ones?

I myself do shave, but only when my growing beard starts to become a nuisance.

FantaOpossum
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10 Sep 2022, 9:46 pm

UncannyDanny wrote:

...Not even scruffy ones?

I myself do shave, but only when my growing beard starts to become a nuisance.

No, not even scruffy ones. Reminds me too much of my dad, haha.

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Muse933277
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10 Sep 2022, 11:03 pm

FantaOpossum wrote:

I can't seem to find any autistic men I'm actually interested in dating. It breaks my heart 'cause I know we all tend to have it rough in the dating scene. I've seen the posts on here.

Maybe you're too picky or your criteria for picking potential dating partners is bad.

I think one problem that many young people have is, and you're certainly not the only one, is to pick a partner solely on their physical appearance. They see a cute girl/boy and become so infatuated with the person, that they ignore red-flags or flaws that the other person has.

On the other hand, there's some guys who aren't necessarily your physical type, but who you would be highly compatible with and they would make a wonderful boyfriend. I'm not saying to date someone you find ugly, but perhaps to be more open minded when it comes to physical appearance.

And i'm going to be perfectly blunt with you. If you want a hot guy for a boyfriend, you better be fairly hot yourself. Sure he may hookup with you, simply because it's easy for girls to get sex, but he may not see you as relationship material.

Muse933277
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10 Sep 2022, 11:09 pm

FantaOpossum wrote:

It breaks my heart 'cause I know we all tend to have it rough in the dating scene.

Yeah sure, we're all going to find a way to complain about out dating life. But i'd much rather complain about multiple super models wanting to date me and I can't pick the right one, then complain about being a 30 year old virgin because nobody even gives me the time of day.

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