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I Would Prefer to Date an Autistic Guy, but...

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kraftiekortie
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11 Sep 2022, 8:26 am

Supermodels could all walk the plank for all I care :P

I prefer average-looking women myself…..”flaws” and all…..



UncannyDanny
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11 Sep 2022, 8:42 am

I tend to be pretty picky, myself.

I'd rather find someone who's not only cute and healthy, but also quirky.



Last edited by UncannyDanny on 11 Sep 2022, 9:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

Muse933277
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11 Sep 2022, 9:23 am

I believe women tend to be pickier than men in general when it comes to dating. As you can see in this video, women tend to swipe no much more often on online dating sites. On the other hand, men tend to be more open minded and find a wider variety of women attractive.




I think there's a few reasons for this. For one thing, women are pickier because they simply have more options to choose from compared to a typical man. A typical woman gets 5x the match rate that a man does (not exact numbers but you get the point).



kraftiekortie
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11 Sep 2022, 9:39 am

The women shown in the video are not regular, average women….



Agent_Elflord
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11 Sep 2022, 3:53 pm

FantaOpossum wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
FantaOpossum wrote:
I would prefer to date someone who has the same autistic struggles as me, 'cause they get it, you know? Someone to share special interests with and someone to drag to nerdy conventions and do couples cosplay with.


Do you attend cosplay conventions? that's surely a happy hunting ground for cosplay autistic men


Yeah, I've been to a few such as DragonCon. I met a few people there, but after I get their numbers the convo usually fizzles out fast.

Like I met this one guy who was dressed up in a British WWII uniform, and never did I try to get someone's number so fast in my life - mainly because he was non-white, and non-white men into WWII are a rarity from what I've noticed. (I say this cause a lot of white men who are into WWII tend to get all weird about it, no offense)
Anyways, we talked for a little but then he stopped responding.

I think I know what you mean in that last part. They usually turn into Wehraboos, right? :lol:



SkinnyElephant
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12 Sep 2022, 10:31 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
I believe women tend to be pickier than men in general when it comes to dating. As you can see in this video, women tend to swipe no much more often on online dating sites. On the other hand, men tend to be more open minded and find a wider variety of women attractive.




I think there's a few reasons for this. For one thing, women are pickier because they simply have more options to choose from compared to a typical man. A typical woman gets 5x the match rate that a man does (not exact numbers but you get the point).


From what I've heard, there's an evolutionary explanation for a woman being pickier.

Men are biologically programmed to spread our seed as far as possible (which would explain the fact a lot of men are interested in a wide variety of ladies). Men could father infinite amount of children in the same year.

A woman, on the other hand, can only be pregnant once per year. A woman is programmed to pick only the ideal mate.



ironpony
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14 Sep 2022, 12:33 am

SkinnyElephant wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
I believe women tend to be pickier than men in general when it comes to dating. As you can see in this video, women tend to swipe no much more often on online dating sites. On the other hand, men tend to be more open minded and find a wider variety of women attractive.




I think there's a few reasons for this. For one thing, women are pickier because they simply have more options to choose from compared to a typical man. A typical woman gets 5x the match rate that a man does (not exact numbers but you get the point).


From what I've heard, there's an evolutionary explanation for a woman being pickier.

Men are biologically programmed to spread our seed as far as possible (which would explain the fact a lot of men are interested in a wide variety of ladies). Men could father infinite amount of children in the same year.

A woman, on the other hand, can only be pregnant once per year. A woman is programmed to pick only the ideal mate.


This makes sense. But there is the old saying that men are more about looks than women, but I find that women seem pickier on looks, especially when they are swiping no a lot more often, when all they are doing is looking at pictures before they decide on no. Not that I am criticizing this, I just find it interesting how there is the saying that men are more about looks, when the guys I see are willing to date down in terms of looks and will swipe yes more on ones that are not as goodlooking as some.



Muse933277
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15 Sep 2022, 1:23 pm

Women care about looks just as much as men do. I’ve hung around college-aged girls before and many of them are just as shallow, immature, and looks oriented as men are. To say otherwise would be incredibly naive.



SkinnyElephant
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15 Sep 2022, 4:20 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
Women care about looks just as much as men do. I’ve hung around college-aged girls before and many of them are just as shallow, immature, and looks oriented as men are. To say otherwise would be incredibly naive.


Even so, the typical woman won't immediately hop into bed with a guy just because he's good-looking.

The typical man, on the other hand, would immediately hop into bed with any woman he finds attractive.



CosmicFerrets
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16 Sep 2022, 4:31 am

Yeah. I struggle to befriend many autistic men because many of them are incels. They cannot see you as a person, just as an obstacle to be ticked off. I know this sounds terrible. But I do think people with ASD are more inclined to become incels, partly because of our increased social isolation, and partly because I think many of us approach social interactions in a very scripted, algorithmic manner. This isn't necessarily a bad thing and it definitely helps me with social skills but taken to its extreme it can lead to treating people and relationships as checkboxes on the road to normality. I have been this way with friendships in the past and I feel ashamed of the way I treated some people in early high school.

I guess I don't have your problem as I mostly am into women. Autistic girls generally are not incels, I think because women are not shamed for a lack of sexual or romantic relationships the way men are, so they are less likely to fall into that 'checkbox' mindset. However with autistic girls I find their interests are usually in fandom which is not great for me as that doesn't interest me.

Having said that, the autistic men I have met with ASD who weren't incels were absolutely fantastic. It's so nice being able to get along with someone who thinks the same way as you.

Maybe you should get involved in caving or something related to Earth science. It really seems to attract neurodivergent people. Every single person I've befriended in this area I think was on the spectrum. Just over half were men. However, they were usually in decent shape (as in, a healthy normal person), because you can't do field work or caving if you're too weak or chubby to jump across rocks, climb, or get through little holes and crevices.



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16 Sep 2022, 4:26 pm

CosmicFerrets wrote:
Yeah. I struggle to befriend many autistic men because many of them are incels. They cannot see you as a person, just as an obstacle to be ticked off. I know this sounds terrible. But I do think people with ASD are more inclined to become incels, partly because of our increased social isolation, and partly because I think many of us approach social interactions in a very scripted, algorithmic manner. This isn't necessarily a bad thing and it definitely helps me with social skills but taken to its extreme it can lead to treating people and relationships as checkboxes on the road to normality. I have been this way with friendships in the past and I feel ashamed of the way I treated some people in early high school.

I guess I don't have your problem as I mostly am into women. Autistic girls generally are not incels, I think because women are not shamed for a lack of sexual or romantic relationships the way men are, so they are less likely to fall into that 'checkbox' mindset. However with autistic girls I find their interests are usually in fandom which is not great for me as that doesn't interest me.

Having said that, the autistic men I have met with ASD who weren't incels were absolutely fantastic. It's so nice being able to get along with someone who thinks the same way as you.

Maybe you should get involved in caving or something related to Earth science. It really seems to attract neurodivergent people. Every single person I've befriended in this area I think was on the spectrum. Just over half were men. However, they were usually in decent shape (as in, a healthy normal person), because you can't do field work or caving if you're too weak or chubby to jump across rocks, climb, or get through little holes and crevices.


Another key explanation for autistic men being more prone to inceldom:

1. Men have a higher sex drive to begin with.
2. A woman has an easier time finding sex, in spite of any quirks (in this case, autism)

Both of these factors combined are a recipe for inceldom among autistic men (and also explain an autistic woman being unlikely to become an incel)



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Sep 2022, 4:50 am

…but we don’t give a f**k.



Sweetleaf
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17 Sep 2022, 9:53 am

SkinnyElephant wrote:
CosmicFerrets wrote:
Yeah. I struggle to befriend many autistic men because many of them are incels. They cannot see you as a person, just as an obstacle to be ticked off. I know this sounds terrible. But I do think people with ASD are more inclined to become incels, partly because of our increased social isolation, and partly because I think many of us approach social interactions in a very scripted, algorithmic manner. This isn't necessarily a bad thing and it definitely helps me with social skills but taken to its extreme it can lead to treating people and relationships as checkboxes on the road to normality. I have been this way with friendships in the past and I feel ashamed of the way I treated some people in early high school.

I guess I don't have your problem as I mostly am into women. Autistic girls generally are not incels, I think because women are not shamed for a lack of sexual or romantic relationships the way men are, so they are less likely to fall into that 'checkbox' mindset. However with autistic girls I find their interests are usually in fandom which is not great for me as that doesn't interest me.

Having said that, the autistic men I have met with ASD who weren't incels were absolutely fantastic. It's so nice being able to get along with someone who thinks the same way as you.

Maybe you should get involved in caving or something related to Earth science. It really seems to attract neurodivergent people. Every single person I've befriended in this area I think was on the spectrum. Just over half were men. However, they were usually in decent shape (as in, a healthy normal person), because you can't do field work or caving if you're too weak or chubby to jump across rocks, climb, or get through little holes and crevices.


Another key explanation for autistic men being more prone to inceldom:

1. Men have a higher sex drive to begin with.
2. A woman has an easier time finding sex, in spite of any quirks (in this case, autism)

Both of these factors combined are a recipe for inceldom among autistic men (and also explain an autistic woman being unlikely to become an incel)


Plus, if a woman(who was unable to get dates/sex/relationships) started calling herself an incel she'd probably get accused of lying about lack of success in that area as well as hate emails and death threats, from the incel community so there is that to.


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23 Oct 2022, 1:08 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
CosmicFerrets wrote:
Yeah. I struggle to befriend many autistic men because many of them are incels. They cannot see you as a person, just as an obstacle to be ticked off. I know this sounds terrible. But I do think people with ASD are more inclined to become incels, partly because of our increased social isolation, and partly because I think many of us approach social interactions in a very scripted, algorithmic manner. This isn't necessarily a bad thing and it definitely helps me with social skills but taken to its extreme it can lead to treating people and relationships as checkboxes on the road to normality. I have been this way with friendships in the past and I feel ashamed of the way I treated some people in early high school.

I guess I don't have your problem as I mostly am into women. Autistic girls generally are not incels, I think because women are not shamed for a lack of sexual or romantic relationships the way men are, so they are less likely to fall into that 'checkbox' mindset. However with autistic girls I find their interests are usually in fandom which is not great for me as that doesn't interest me.

Having said that, the autistic men I have met with ASD who weren't incels were absolutely fantastic. It's so nice being able to get along with someone who thinks the same way as you.

Maybe you should get involved in caving or something related to Earth science. It really seems to attract neurodivergent people. Every single person I've befriended in this area I think was on the spectrum. Just over half were men. However, they were usually in decent shape (as in, a healthy normal person), because you can't do field work or caving if you're too weak or chubby to jump across rocks, climb, or get through little holes and crevices.


Another key explanation for autistic men being more prone to inceldom:

1. Men have a higher sex drive to begin with.
2. A woman has an easier time finding sex, in spite of any quirks (in this case, autism)

Both of these factors combined are a recipe for inceldom among autistic men (and also explain an autistic woman being unlikely to become an incel)


Plus, if a woman(who was unable to get dates/sex/relationships) started calling herself an incel she'd probably get accused of lying about lack of success in that area as well as hate emails and death threats, from the incel community so there is that to.


Oh really, I thought the Intel community would most likely welcome her with open arms, because having women in the Intel community could be better publicity too.



ironpony
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23 Oct 2022, 1:12 pm

CosmicFerrets wrote:
Yeah. I struggle to befriend many autistic men because many of them are incels. They cannot see you as a person, just as an obstacle to be ticked off. I know this sounds terrible. But I do think people with ASD are more inclined to become incels, partly because of our increased social isolation, and partly because I think many of us approach social interactions in a very scripted, algorithmic manner. This isn't necessarily a bad thing and it definitely helps me with social skills but taken to its extreme it can lead to treating people and relationships as checkboxes on the road to normality. I have been this way with friendships in the past and I feel ashamed of the way I treated some people in early high school.

I guess I don't have your problem as I mostly am into women. Autistic girls generally are not incels, I think because women are not shamed for a lack of sexual or romantic relationships the way men are, so they are less likely to fall into that 'checkbox' mindset. However with autistic girls I find their interests are usually in fandom which is not great for me as that doesn't interest me.

Having said that, the autistic men I have met with ASD who weren't incels were absolutely fantastic. It's so nice being able to get along with someone who thinks the same way as you.

Maybe you should get involved in caving or something related to Earth science. It really seems to attract neurodivergent people. Every single person I've befriended in this area I think was on the spectrum. Just over half were men. However, they were usually in decent shape (as in, a healthy normal person), because you can't do field work or caving if you're too weak or chubby to jump across rocks, climb, or get through little holes and crevices.


In my experience, I would have to disagree with this because guys who cannot get women usually want a life partner because they see more value in finding that special one that will accept them.

popular guys who have women all over them especially Rich successful good looking guys, are usually the ones to use women more because they cannot be locked down.

so I would say good looking rich and successful guys are the ones to see women as objects more rather than autistic guys who cannot get women there as much and are therefore hoping to find a more special one.



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23 Oct 2022, 2:51 pm

ironpony wrote:
CosmicFerrets wrote:
Yeah. I struggle to befriend many autistic men because many of them are incels. They cannot see you as a person, just as an obstacle to be ticked off. I know this sounds terrible. But I do think people with ASD are more inclined to become incels, partly because of our increased social isolation, and partly because I think many of us approach social interactions in a very scripted, algorithmic manner. This isn't necessarily a bad thing and it definitely helps me with social skills but taken to its extreme it can lead to treating people and relationships as checkboxes on the road to normality. I have been this way with friendships in the past and I feel ashamed of the way I treated some people in early high school.

I guess I don't have your problem as I mostly am into women. Autistic girls generally are not incels, I think because women are not shamed for a lack of sexual or romantic relationships the way men are, so they are less likely to fall into that 'checkbox' mindset. However with autistic girls I find their interests are usually in fandom which is not great for me as that doesn't interest me.

Having said that, the autistic men I have met with ASD who weren't incels were absolutely fantastic. It's so nice being able to get along with someone who thinks the same way as you.

Maybe you should get involved in caving or something related to Earth science. It really seems to attract neurodivergent people. Every single person I've befriended in this area I think was on the spectrum. Just over half were men. However, they were usually in decent shape (as in, a healthy normal person), because you can't do field work or caving if you're too weak or chubby to jump across rocks, climb, or get through little holes and crevices.


In my experience, I would have to disagree with this because guys who cannot get women usually want a life partner because they see more value in finding that special one that will accept them.

popular guys who have women all over them especially Rich successful good looking guys, are usually the ones to use women more because they cannot be locked down.

so I would say good looking rich and successful guys are the ones to see women as objects more rather than autistic guys who cannot get women there as much and are therefore hoping to find a more special one.


Some guys on the spectrum want life partners.

However, some of us have quirks that would make a long-term relationship impossible/impractical (even if we found a willing life partner)

Thats my theory on why some autistic guys only want sex.