I keep crushing on fictional characters

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But fictional characters>most real men

I still want to get married in the near future however my dreams involved marriage and weddings to the fictional characters

They can't hurt you or take advantage of you in the way a real human relationship does

I was explaining this to my neuro-typical neighbor Anita Tressler who said that I should see a therapist to decipher what these dreams could mean

Mickey, SpongeBob, and the others are too sweet and kind to hurt the ones they love

Even though I'm a cartoonist I don't get having real crushes on fictional characters, even if they are good-looking and have likable traits. When I was younger I once met this woman who had a thing for Mickey Mouse and was jealous of Minnie. She said that one time when she was a kid her family threw her a Minnie Mouse themed surprise birthday party, and she was not impressed.

It's not physically possible to have a romantic relationship with fictional characters. In fact it gets pretty creepy and gross when some people "sleep" with their fake anime "girlfriends" printed on pillows. And rule 34 "artwork" of family-friendly characters, like Isabelle from Animal Crossing. And they no shame whatsoever about letting the entire world know about it.

Yeah it's obviously impossible to have a "romantic relationship" with a fictional character but it's fun to dream about and fantasize about

I can't help it. I fantasize anyway. Most of my "dream dates" are human-looking, though. I could imagine them translated into the real world fairly easily, but they'd be just as quirky and odd as they are in the comic books.

But we gotta be careful what we say about this stuff to neuro-typical people or we could piss them off!

This is why Anita doesn't want to talk to me on Facebook Messenger anymore

She thinks I have real feelings for Mickey Mouse, SpongeBob SquarePants and Mario

Like if one of them walked through the door I would immediately run into his arms and make out with him

That couldn't be further from the truth!

It's more like if these characters were real or if I lived in their world that I would fall in love with them and that is precisely what my dreams are about

Anita is neuro-typical and has a husband and 2 kids so of course she doesn't understand

Because of this, I feel like an outcast of society even though it's like I said this is a coping mechanism for not having a real partner

It doesn't help that my expectations are ridiculously high, for some reason. I'm the kind of person who was picked on mercilessly in high school and throughout my public school experience. You might think my expectations were lowered because I learned how easy it is for people to reject me, but it's kind of the opposite for me. I guess I have sort of a "Cinderella" complex, although if you talked to your average NT, they'd probably say that I brought all of the abuse upon myself with my odd behavior. I have to take special medication to live in their world, though, and I can still only tolerate their mindset in small doses.

I like reaching for the moon and the stars; it's what I was taught to do. Just because they don't have the imagination to appreciate it doesn't mean I should have to stop and lower my expectations, should it? Of course, it doesn't help that my idea of an ideal partner is me and/or people I imagine from fiction stories.

Well, most fictional characters are better than real people but fantasizing about them will only take you so far

I do it because it's my way of manifesting my desires without having to put out the hard work of looking for, creating, cultivating, and maintaining a relationship

However, I have been stuck being my mom's caregiver for 2 years and I have reached the age where it is time to start looking for a soulmate but because of my situation it is hard to actually go out and meet people

My goal is to have a job and be married by next year

James Bond may happen live down your street
Damn these guys look kewl

Aren't there plenty of organized fandoms out there?

Look online for groups of fans of the characters you mentioned. (Meetup.com might be one place to look. Or just Google "James Bond fan club" and similar phrases.) Some of the larger fan clubs will likely hold parties -- or even conventions -- that may include cosplay.

Of course COVID has put a damper on this sort of thing these past few years, but hopefully it will revive soon.

Good for you, but be careful. I've seen too many marriages go sour when one person's outlook changes or when they otherwise find out that the person they thought they married wasn't that way at all. For example, the fun-loving spouse is actually deeply religious/traditional/anti-religious and holds uncompromising beliefs that directly contradict those of the other spouse. That's not a comfortable position to be in. Real marriage is a relationship of give and take and compromise, and I don't really think popular fiction properly explores its many nuances and difficulties, or as someone else put it "if you try to have a Hollywood marriage, you'll probably also end up with a Hollywood divorce."

Maybe so, but the closest big city to where I live is San Antonio, and with gas prices the way they are, I don't want to drive 100+ miles just to meet some people in costumes. An online meetup would be fine with me, honestly.

The more I reflect on this, though, the more I think it's a desire for self-improvement. Maybe I should just take some acting or comedy writing classes and become my own cool fictional character?

Once you learn and master the practice of manifestation I feel finding love will become MUCH easier and will put a stop to fantasizing about fictional characters!

If you were dealing with all the crap I put up with on a daily basis with my mom and brother, is it any wonder why I dream about falling in love with Mickey, SpongeBob or Mario?

They may not be real but I like to pretend they are rescuing me from this horrible situation and taking me away from all of this!

So yeah it's not only a coping mechanism for not having a partner but also for dealing with my current situation

I relate to this. I developed a mega huge crush obsession on a celeb maybe about 13 years ago partly due to depression along with desperately trying for a relationship for 6 years straight without getting a single date. I felt very trapped living with my parents as well & was very frustrated about it. Looking back, developing the crush then kinda made sense. My brain was trying to help itself.

However while it may have been helping in some ways, it caused other problems for me. Talking about it online contributed to me getting judged negatively & contributed to making me the target of bullying. There's been lots of emotional pain cuz I cant realistically be with her. I've had issues offline as well like crying myself to sleep & episodes of almost passing out. I've always daydreamed aLOT but daydreaming about the crush made it even harder for me to focus on things I really needed to. It probably manifested into being a borderline delusional disorder along the erotomania category. I NEVER attempted to stalk or anything but I kept trying to come up with plans that seemed like they had a somewhat realistic chance of working but I just gave myself headaches trying to think.

I've been in my current relationship for about 10 & a half years & the crush kinda left for the 1st year but then it came back. In some ways it seems kinda depressing & I feel guilty about it. Being on OCD medication helps my OCD but no effect on the crush & being on an antipsychotic helps me be less irritable & prevents meltdowns but no effect on the crush either. Talking & posting about it & trying to analyze things just goes round in circles. I've been trying to practice avoidance & not dwell on things but that only helps a tiny bit. At this point it's gonna last the rest of my life so I need to learn to live with it.

Yeah it works by mentally taking me away from this awful caregiving situation I have been in for 2 years and puts me into a state of relaxation

So maybe in my case dreaming about falling in love with fictional characters is actually beneficial because it means I am ready to find the one who I want to spend my life with and it will force me to start looking for a partner

Me and my brother despite only doing this for 2 years are suffering from Caregiver Burnout and Compassion Fatigue which is part of why I am silently working on making an escape plan so I can GET OUT ASAP before things get worse!

There IS a way out but it means getting a job and driver's license so I can successfully untether myself from my mom

That is the ultimate goal!

I may still be tethered to her BUT I am already becoming more independant and am slowly gaining autonomy and freedom because me and my brother are done playing her stupid games

How did you untether yourself from your parents and become autonomous @nick007?

I somehow majorly lucked out & met my current girlfriend online & I moved in with her after about half a year. I did make a couple trips to visit Cass & she took one down to see me. Like me she has various issues she's dealing with but she had housing assistance & some other benefits I never had; I had some benefits & still have some but did not have housing options. She had lived alone for a year & handled it very badly due to depression & anxiety & other emotional issues. She's a lot more comfortable if someone is there even if they're not in the same room. She was planning to move back in with her parents but hated that idea for various reasons. Cass reached out to me on this forum after reading a lot of my posts cuz she thought I might understand & accept her. I'm an odd Aspie guy cuz I like people who have certain emotional & physical disabilities & I kinda like providing emotional support. I can relate some cuz I've dealt with various issues myself. I know that having someone there for me who really tried to understand & support me woulda been a huge help. My emotional issues are a lot better living with a romantic partner than being single & living with my parents. It's kinda ironic because I was depressed, irritable, & unstable when I was single but moving in with a romantic partner who also was made things a lot better for me. I hate feeling like I'm the problem due to being an outsider, that caused a lot of frustration to build up. My parents(mom much more than dad) were very frustrated with the situation of me living with them but we didn't know what to do so they were not very upset about me moving out.