How to avoid Dating a Narcissist

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Unfortunately, yes I have.

Ask if they like cats, most don’t as cats are not easily controlled…

Red flags I looked for on dates (before I became celibate lol)

* love bombing very early in the relationship; flattery, compliments, gifts, attention, texts, comments on photos on social media
* They decide where you will go on dates
* They overstep boundaries you have told them eg. No kissing on first date
* They touch you without consent
* They appear bored or distracted when you talk about things important to you
* They call their ex ‘crazy’ or mentally ill
* They are rude to waiters/service staff or complain about the service received and seem to enjoy it
* They have a sense of entitlement/superiority eg to waiting staff
* They are constantly on their phone when with you
* They use words that belittle you eg. Silly, clumsy, wacky, quirky etc
* Car they drive - the blingier, the more dangerous the narc is
* They talk about money & material possessions, shoes, holidays, salary etc
* They name-drop celebrities they know loudly so others can hear and they enjoy the validation
* They don’t allow themselves to be vulnerable eg. They only talk about their successes & achievements and avoid answering personal questions
* They ask questions that force you to be vulnerable eg. Asking personal questions that they wouldn’t answer themselves
* They lie eg. they say they have no contact with an ex but then they get a call from them
* They are constantly looking around at other people when you’re together
* They seem to need attention and validation eg. Fishing for compliments or loud attention-seeking behaviour, flirting with waiters in front of you, talking to others not you
* They check their appearance regularly eg. In mirrors or on phone

Thank you for your comment RiverLad,

You seem to know a lot about the behavioral patterns of narcissm.

There is an interesting article that you might also want to listen to as it relates specifically to Aspies and H G Tudor explains a lot about the relationship between Aspies and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

See video below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RymutvYad9w

Early red flag-

A narcissist can appear to be into you and will even appear to like you. However, they may flirt with someone else at the same time and pit you against that other person.

A narcissist doesn’t care about who they hurt, all they want is attention, praise, and admiration because they think they are unique.

Luckily, I have a unique skill of vetting narcissistic women before even dating them, or really getting to know them well.

Typically the Narcy woman will want to be treated like a Hot Goddess by all males (even those that she wishes not to date). Typically this will be in the workplace, social group etc. They hate not recieving having their ass licked 24/7. She demands you have a great career, top tier social status, filmstar looks, top 5-10% height (physical stature in feet/inches) and superficial stuff like fast cars. cash to burn and designer clothes. They constantly compare themselves to celebrities and the 'Upper Crust' Jones' down the street. They don't care who they hurt, bully, shun or exclude as they are incapable of putting themselves in somebody else's shoes. They leave a Tornado's level of damage wherever they go, but always its never them that are the guilty party for sh***y relationship after sh***y relationship. Holy Big massive Red Flag, batman!

I used to be friends with someone who was definitely narcissistic. She dated a close friend of mine for 6 months while flirting with other guys right in front of him. It was like she never got enough attention.

- And another very important narcissit red flag to watch for is they isolate you from your family (and theirs too)

2 steps.

1. Learn how to identify the traits of a narcissist.
2. Don't date people who exhibit those traits.

A major red flag is if they want you to change a behavior or do or not do something, their reasoning will always go back to how they will be affected instead of major concern for you. Like if they want you to seek treatment for depression, it will be cuz they hate dealing with you when your depressed instead of wanting you to feel better cuz they love you.