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Hiding diagnosis from NT girls

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blitzkrieg
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31 May 2024, 11:51 am

FrostBender wrote:
Can’t I get autism diagnosis removed from records if I bribe the receptionist at the doctors office? Then no one would ever have a record of my autism


I imagine there would be some kind of authorization level needed to delete a record, after going through appropriate channels to do so.

I doubt a receptionist could do that on their own.



funeralxempire
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31 May 2024, 12:04 pm

I'm curious how OP would respond if he discovered his supposedly NT girlfriend had been lying about not having autism the whole time.


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31 May 2024, 12:11 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
I'm curious how OP would respond if he discovered his supposedly NT girlfriend had been lying about not having autism the whole time.

As long as she’s ok with hiding the autism along with me, I wouldn’t care.
If not, I’d dump her.



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31 May 2024, 1:10 pm

I never told a single woman with whom I had a relationship, situationship, or even a date that I had autism. That's because I wasn't diagnosed until four years into my second marriage.

You can make a relationship without disclosing your autism if you do not grieve over how you are acting and whether you are being "normal." However, I highly recommend that once you have something going with a woman, you disclose your diagnosis.

1. It's the fair and right thing to do.
2. If she dumps you, then she eventually was going to dump you when the truth came out (e.g., her friend says to her, your boyfriend may be autistic).
3. If she is really into you, then she and you can figure out how to make it work. I draw on my experiences; behaviors unknowingly due or connected to my undiagnosed ASD caused big problems in both my marriages.
4. Wouldn't you want to know if she was and you were not?



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31 May 2024, 1:11 pm

rse92 wrote:
I never told a single woman with whom I had a relationship, situationship, or even a date that I had autism. That's because I wasn't diagnosed until four years into my second marriage.

You can make a relationship without disclosing your autism if you do not grieve over how you are acting and whether you are being "normal." However, I highly recommend that once you have something going with a woman, you disclose your diagnosis.

1. It's the fair and right thing to do.
2. If she dumps you, then she eventually was going to dump you when the truth came out (e.g., her friend says to her, your boyfriend may be autistic).
3. If she is really into you, then she and you can figure out how to make it work. I draw on my experiences; behaviors unknowingly due or connected to my undiagnosed ASD caused big problems in both my marriages.
4. Wouldn't you want to know if she was and you were not?

I just don’t want anyone else to know. I’ll carry my diagnosis to the grave if I have to



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31 May 2024, 2:15 pm

Sounds like your diagnosis is a source of embarrassment for you


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31 May 2024, 2:31 pm

FrostBender wrote:
Can’t I get autism diagnosis removed from records if I bribe the receptionist at the doctors office? Then no one would ever have a record of my autism


Great idea. I'm sure that will work. Then you hide all autistic traits, act 100% NT 24 hours a day and live happily ever after. Problem solved.


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blitzkrieg
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31 May 2024, 2:32 pm

BillyTree wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
Can’t I get autism diagnosis removed from records if I bribe the receptionist at the doctors office? Then no one would ever have a record of my autism


Great idea. I'm sure that will work. Then you hide all autistic traits, act 100% NT 24 hours a day and live happily ever after. Problem solved.


:lol:



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31 May 2024, 2:32 pm

babybird wrote:
Sounds like your diagnosis is a source of embarrassment for you

Existing with autism is a source of embarrassment for me



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31 May 2024, 2:38 pm

BillyTree wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
Can’t I get autism diagnosis removed from records if I bribe the receptionist at the doctors office? Then no one would ever have a record of my autism


Great idea. I'm sure that will work. Then you hide all autistic traits, act 100% NT 24 hours a day and live happily ever after. Problem solved.

I get it. You hate NTs. Well I think, since we can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em



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31 May 2024, 2:40 pm

^ How did you get that from that post?

FrostBender wrote:
babybird wrote:
Sounds like your diagnosis is a source of embarrassment for you

Existing with autism is a source of embarrassment for me

It might be a good idea to work on that before looking for a relationship. Therapy could help you attain a fresh perspective. You don’t have to like having autism. Acceptance could be a good goal. If it’s something you actively hate about yourself, you could give off a negative vibe. Most people don’t want to be around someone who is negative all the time.



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31 May 2024, 2:43 pm

FrostBender wrote:
BillyTree wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
Can’t I get autism diagnosis removed from records if I bribe the receptionist at the doctors office? Then no one would ever have a record of my autism


Great idea. I'm sure that will work. Then you hide all autistic traits, act 100% NT 24 hours a day and live happily ever after. Problem solved.

I get it. You hate NTs. Well I think, since we can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em


I don't think BillyTree hates NTs, he just thinks your plan to pretend to be one isn't very realistic given that you're not one and that many people with autism spend their entire lives pretending to be NT and never succeed at passing.

You can succeed at being someone with autism or fail at pretending to be someone who doesn't have autism.


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31 May 2024, 2:48 pm

FrostBender wrote:
babybird wrote:
Sounds like your diagnosis is a source of embarrassment for you

Existing with autism is a source of embarrassment for me


Why is it so embarrassing, though? I have a feeling that you were conditioned into being ashamed of being autistic, which unfortunately happens way too often.
There's nothing wrong with existing as an autistic person. There are lots of advantages to being autistic, which can please NT girls: more attention to details (so you remember what they say), special interests that make you fascinating to them, routines thanks to which you are very reliable, etc. Back when I didn't know I was autistic, I was madly in love with an autistic boy and appreciated all the perks of his neurodiversity.
I know a few NT girls who are in a relationship with an autistic boy and it turned out just fine. Why? Because both partners were honest from the very beginning. A relationship that isn't founded on honesty, openness and transparency is bound to fail because there's no trust. On top of that, trying to suppress your autistic traits won't help you attract NT girls: it will only leave you drained.


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31 May 2024, 3:08 pm

No one conditioned me to hate my autism. My parents taught me to accept myself. But I don’t. I want to keep trying to be normal. I want to just live a normal life.



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31 May 2024, 3:10 pm

NT girls don’t like autistic men. If they do, it’s because they make a lot of money or are hot. I am none of those things. So I’m trying to make myself more attractive and mask my way into a good job. Society will never accept those who are different.



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31 May 2024, 3:16 pm

FrostBender wrote:
babybird wrote:
Sounds like your diagnosis is a source of embarrassment for you

Existing with autism is a source of embarrassment for me


That's sad


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