Approaching someone in public

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I think you are getting a bad reception with this because being sexually aroused doesn't actually make you do anything inappropriate. Yes, navigating those situations can be complex, especially if you haven't been taught how to communicate about boundaries (with many women also against explicit communication at least at first), and mistakes will be made.

However, that has nothing to do with sexism or being a man per se, so it will be perceived as an excuse or attempt redirect the conversation. If you made a different topic to discuss how to communicate about boundaries in sexual situations then you would probably instead get a positive reception. That thread would no longer be about "men versus women" since eg gay men also communicate about boundaries with each other. The ones who are good at the communication know methods that are applicable to young straight men, since this isn't specific to gender or orientation.

I actually agree with a lot of what you're saying on the last couple pages, but sometimes people just want to hear that sexism is harmful and that the sexists have both the potential and obligation to do better. Time and place and all that, not that autistic people are known to be good at parsing that out.

Everyone is granted, on joining, a wide leeway and the freedom to behave; some choose to push boundaries and misbehave.
It's not rocket science, and the functioning abilities are irrelevant. What's relevant is continued and wilful misbehavior, despite explanations and where necessary, warnings.

I've yet to meet someone here who doesn't understand how they are breaking site rules. Why? Because it's shown to them.
Whether they agree is another matter and to a point, this is also discussed - but not to the extent of pandering to rote denial or some imagined "right" to say certain things on WP.

I may be missing something, but it seems you're trying to introduce caveats or to make excuses for some sort of "special case" behaviors?


But anyway - going into the site rules or their application is drifting way off the topic "Approaching someone in public", so...

For younger females who are looking for female (or male/other) companionship they have being horny in addition to coping with autism so for them frustration is something that is unavoidable so they take matters into their own hands so to speak, just like young men can.

It seems like there's a double standard that men's loneliness/horniness deserves special consideration and that it's appropriate for them to blame women rather than take more proactive steps such as self-satisfying without blaming their desired dating group, and without feeling entitled to put their needs ahead of everyone else's.

Nobody should accept harmful sh*t from anyone. This space is not just for men. I don't care about the excuses.

I 100% agree and the men on this thread who are making excuses are being harmful.

I've been trying to remember anyone taking offense at my romantic approaches and I'm not coming up with anything.
Plenty of smiling rejections, a few rolling eyes, but not a single "f*** off creep!"
I'm either blanking out the trauma or I'm more virtuous than I give myself credit for.

Most women wouldn’t say “f**k off creep.” I’m always polite even if I’m creeped out by someone. It often wouldn’t feel safe to express how I really feel.

Lol.... Shoot me down Princess!

I again offer the "zero threat matrix" conjecture.
Everyone seems to feel safe around me, and I find people have no problems saying to me what they wouldn't say to others.

Having read some of the crap you've been through, I would wear your "f*** off creep" (should I generate such) without TOO much ego damage, and apologise for the intrusion.

I wasn’t meaning to imply that people find you threatening! I was mostly just thinking out loud. My overall point was that women aren’t usually going to express feelings of discomfort, nervousness, anxiety, etc. when they are asked out or hit on by someone they find creepy (or whatever). I always tried to soften things as much as I could because some people can be extremely unpleasant when they have a bruised ego. Of course, that doesn’t help them modify their behavior, not that that’s my or anyone else’s responsibility.

Thanks!

I think men & women tend to experience horniness differently. Perhaps guys taking matters into their own hands is not as relieving for guys as it tends to be for women There's some reason most rapes are committed by guys & I think it's parlty related to their biology & hormones. I'm NOT excusing rape, Guys who are that frustrated need to take meds or something to lower their hormones.

It seems like some guys on WP don’t really understand or they underestimate female sexuality. Many of us are just as horny as men and want fulfilling sexual relationships just as much. Society hasn’t socialized us to believe that we’re entitled to them, not that women never commit sexual crimes or engage in other concerning behavior related to sex.

When my ex raped me, it was more about control than sex.

Well yikes, maybe this is a good time for those forum rules to kick in. I think I'm done with this thread.

Speaking as someone who's experienced both sets of hormones, hormones do impact how things feel, but how the person decides to respond is on them. If one cares about how the people impacted by their actions feel, they will find another way than violence every time.

I rarely check it out either because there are so few women here. Also the things I write about aren't women's issues, they're human issues which all people should be able to understand, like .... autism, depression, anxiety, relationships, music, politics, news, Adult, Love & Dating, word games etc.

The few times I have used the Women's forum there were men commenting and making snide comments, like the time a horny man told a vulnerable woman who was afraid of penetration and gyne exams because of severe pain, that she should put butter in her vagina so her partner could have sex with her.

I think the people I am referring to have long since left this forum or had security escort them out (so to speak)

From my perspective I am referring to past members who have now left. I don't know? the WP forums seem less diverse than they used to. A lot more diverse voices on the forums.

Cool! concurrently I am learning to reflect on my own views so even at my age I have room for personal growth.