Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Crush does not care

Page 1 of 7 [ 102 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 7  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,427
Location: Near London United Kingdom

10 Nov 2024, 1:52 am

I am friends with this couple. He's 26 and his girlfriend is 21.

I have a huge crush on my mates gf. I confided in some of my friends about this last night and they said things to me like "she's not interested", "you don't stand a chance" and "she probably does not give a s**t about you"

Do you think my friends make good points or are they trying to put me down?



Rhapsody
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 332

10 Nov 2024, 2:06 am

I think your friends are trying to protect you Jamesy, and I hope you heed their advice.

This is a woman you know is already in a relationship and where you're friends with her boyfriend. There is no way in which pursuing her will end well for you. At best you just get rejected. At worst you end up losing an entire friend group in the fallout if they cause drama. People can be cruel.

It sucks. It's an awful situation to be in, and I'm so sorry you're in this predicament. Your best bet is to forget about her and move on to more attainable, preferably single women. I wish you luck! :heart:



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,427
Location: Near London United Kingdom

10 Nov 2024, 2:08 am

Rhapsody wrote:
I think your friends are trying to protect you Jamesy, and I hope you heed their advice.

This is a woman you know is already in a relationship and where you're friends with her boyfriend. There is no way in which pursuing her will end well for you. At best you just get rejected. At worst you end up losing an entire friend group in the fallout if they cause drama. People can be cruel.

It sucks. It's an awful situation to be in, and I'm so sorry you're in this predicament. Your best bet is to forget about her and move on to more attainable, preferably single women. I wish you luck! :heart:



Do you most likely she doesn't give a s**t about me? I was drunk when I confided in them



Rhapsody
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 332

10 Nov 2024, 2:26 am

Jamesy wrote:
Do you most likely she doesn't give a s**t about me? I was drunk when I confided in them

If she's your friend, I'm sure she cares about you. However there are vast oceans between caring about someone as a friend and being willing to leave your boyfriend for them. It is something I would suggest you not entertain. Maybe you can ask if she has any single friends instead?



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,427
Location: Near London United Kingdom

10 Nov 2024, 5:49 am

Rhapsody wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Do you most likely she doesn't give a s**t about me? I was drunk when I confided in them

If she's your friend, I'm sure she cares about you. However there are vast oceans between caring about someone as a friend and being willing to leave your boyfriend for them. It is something I would suggest you not entertain. Maybe you can ask if she has any single friends instead?



Someone at the party said bluntly "you dont stand a chance"



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 30,452
Location: Right over your left shoulder

10 Nov 2024, 8:59 am

Jamesy wrote:
Rhapsody wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Do you most likely she doesn't give a s**t about me? I was drunk when I confided in them

If she's your friend, I'm sure she cares about you. However there are vast oceans between caring about someone as a friend and being willing to leave your boyfriend for them. It is something I would suggest you not entertain. Maybe you can ask if she has any single friends instead?



Someone at the party said bluntly "you dont stand a chance"


And they're likely right. You're much more likely to ruin things for yourself socially than end up dating her.


_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
You can't advance to the next level without stomping on a few Koopas.


BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 7,545

10 Nov 2024, 9:20 am

If you are an adult on the Spectrum it is very hard to find new friends.
I agree that there is no way that this will end well if you try to get her to leave her boyfriend.
Much better to keep the friends you have.



DuckHairback
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2021
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,808
Location: Durotriges Territory

10 Nov 2024, 9:38 am

Nothing good can come of this Jamesy. If he's really your mate that should be your first consideration. What she does and doesn't think about you is secondary to that.


_________________
The world is a big place where things happen almost every day.


babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 77,605
Location: UK

10 Nov 2024, 9:40 am

Some people are off limits and I think this woman is one such person


_________________
We have existence


Pink Zeppelin
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2024
Gender: Male
Posts: 80
Location: Pluto the 9th Planet

10 Nov 2024, 9:54 am

Let's say that you do manage to poach her from your friend. She has just proven that she will dump a current relationship when a better option comes along. So, she would most likely do that to you also.

I agree, it sucks to be infatuated with someone who is already taken. Been there, done that (except for getting in a relationship with that person). Just need to move on and find someone available, as difficult as that may be, or just wait for their relationship to end, if it does.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,427
Location: Near London United Kingdom

10 Nov 2024, 10:30 am

DuckHairback wrote:
Nothing good can come of this Jamesy. If he's really your mate that should be your first consideration. What she does and doesn't think about you is secondary to that.




If she's my friend she must care about me a bit



blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Age: 115
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 17,820
Location: The line in the sand

10 Nov 2024, 11:13 am

You need to find a healthier alternative to wanting to be with the girlfriend of your friend.



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,427
Location: Near London United Kingdom

10 Nov 2024, 11:31 am

blitzkrieg wrote:
You need to find a healthier alternative to wanting to be with the girlfriend of your friend.



Do you think most likely she doesn't care about me



babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 77,605
Location: UK

10 Nov 2024, 11:45 am

I don't think she cares about you in the way you would like her to


_________________
We have existence


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,427
Location: Near London United Kingdom

10 Nov 2024, 11:46 am

babybird wrote:
I don't think she cares about you in the way you would like her to



Why would that be?



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 30,142
Location: Hell

10 Nov 2024, 11:47 am

Because she’s in a relationship with someone else.


_________________
“Tú, que me lees, ¿estás seguro de entender mi lenguaje?” — Jorge Luis Borges