How to approach the task of choosing a Wedding Dress?

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Now that I am officially engaged the time has come to start the search for the perfect wedding dress...but I don't even know where to begin!! !

The process of selecting the dress for your wedding is in many ways similar to the process of finding your husband which is of course what leads to the wedding dress search!

Probably why the phrase and TV show "Say Yes to the Dress" exists

There are SO many possible styles & variations to consider and the whole thing sounds overwhelming lol

My question is:

How should I approach this task?!?

What do you guys think?

Thanks in advance!! !

Figuring out how much money you want to spend would be a good start. After that, you could go into shops and try some dresses on to figure out what you like. You need to make your budget clear to salespeople. Their goal is often to try to get you to spend as much money as possible. You could always try dresses on in a store and purchase a dress you like in a similar style elsewhere.

Many people choose not to wear traditional dresses, have marriage ceremonies, or even get married, but if it’s something you want to do, take your time and enjoy the process. There’s nothing wrong with a long engagement. It would probably be a good idea.

Ah! I'm so excited for you!

I 100% agree with Twilight. Figure out your budget and stick to it. Getting married can be very expensive.

But, before you go to a store and start trying on dresses and get overwhelmed by the sheer number of options and pushy salespeople, do you know what aesthetic you're looking for? What feels most you? Or what features you really want? I know a lot of people make vision board type things or Pinterest boards to help them collect their thoughts. Maybe something like that would help?

Also, a lot of people bring friends or family to help them narrow down options. But be careful who you take with you dress shopping. Don't pick anybody who will bully you into something you don't want, or make you feel bad about the process. My mom told me all sorts of stories about how awful dress shopping with my abusive grandmother was.

Well some people I know including Cathy have offered to take me to Bridal Salons and look at dresses but it has to be done without my brother finding out since he gets triggered about the whole "marriage" thing!! !

David wants me to wear an off-the-shoulder or strapless style wedding dress so perhaps I should start there?

That's great! I hope you're able to find a way to work around your brother. Hopefully he gets used to the whole idea sooner rather than later.

That is a good starting point! But only if you also prefer off the shoulder or strapless. You're the one who has to wear it for the ceremony and anything else you do. If you're having a reception make sure you get a dress you feel safe dancing in without any incidents! Or you can even swap dresses, I've seen people do that.

Yeah me too but in due time he should come around!

Off-the-shoulder I wouldn't have to worry about the dress accidentally falling off which is my BIGGEST issue with the strapless style

And I believe also the reason why my mom was vehemently against me wearing that particular type!

But with the strapless wedding dress style I would get to show off my decollage

(and maybe show a little bit of cleavage)

Hmm...

Hard to decide until I actually go to the bridal stores and see them in-person!! !

If you want to highlight your shoulders halter tops are also an option. Though, if you want cleavage too than you're right: strapless is probably your best bet. If you can get it properly fitted then it shouldn't fall down, so make sure you're very thorough with the tailor if you go for the strapless option.

I hope to hear you had a great wedding, and felt beautiful in your dress, and David cried happy tears about how lucky he is when he saw you in it for the first time and not about any wardrobe malfunctions

Congratulations!

Setting a price limit is a good place to start/an important thing to keep in mind while you browse. Remember that you'll wear the dress ONCE. (I still have mine, after 29 years, hidden away somewhere, and I think I'll eventually donate it, now that it might be back in style.)

Consider this: Have you worn formal dresses before that you liked? Or didn't? What elements would you keep or change?

Have you seen people on tv or in movies wearing dresses you really liked or hated? Even if you weren't thinking about it, there might have been something that jumped out at you as "Wow" or "UGH!!" For example, think of all the weddings on Friends; there was a lot of variety there, and a least one of them has to have you thinking, "epic meh," at best. Take note of that stuff!

The next step is to find out what wedding dress(es) actually looks and feels good on you.

If your David has actually seen you in the types of dresses he mentions, definitely take that into consideration, but also know that if you don't like what you're wearing, that will show on some level--unless you care to fake it.

Some personal examples you may find helpful: I'm not a dress person but after browsing a lot of magazines (no internet then--amazing!) I had in mind some features: off-the-shoulder but if possible, with sleeves that would make my relatively large (but strong!) upper arms less conspicuous for the dainty occasion. I like a princess waistline on me, as I'm a mesomorph; the dress I picked both highlighted my slim waist and gave made me look a little curvier. I wanted a little train, but not a big one, and the tailor/seamstress rigged it so that we could hitch it up and hang it from my waist during the reception--pretty and practical! I wanted some sheen and lace, but again, not too much.

Then it came time to hit the streets: I browsed dresses in a couple of stores and stuck with a chain store with a bigger variety and much lower prices. There, I narrowed it down to two or three which I tried on. I made an appointment with my Mom and maid of honor: I tried on the dresses again and measured the reaction (including my own again). I think we eliminated one right away, and the final choice became obvious at one point. I went home quite excited! I was sure my fiance (whom I'd known for almost 7 years) would love it, and man was I right!

Pro tip: the photographer's assistant set off a few flashes as people first turned to see me; my husband said the effect really blew him away.

I hope you're able to take your time and enjoy the process. If you're in it for the long haul anyway, why not?

Well, I do have off-the-shoulder and strapless non-wedding dresses

It's just that I haven't had a legitimate reason to wear them

Yet...


EDIT: I will show you a photo of me in a formal dress so you can get a better idea

Last edited by Cornflake on 16 Nov 2024, 10:11 am, edited 1 time in total.: Link to photo requires a login to view

Congratulations! I wish you the best of luck.

You can make a big deal out of choosing a wedding dress but you don't have to. It's up to you. You can just choose a dress that you think looks nice and is appropriate for the occasion without making yourself overwhelmed.

Bee, true. The most important choice any bride or groom can make is their fiance.

I'm not much of a fashion guru.....

But shoulder strap thing got ripped when Giovanni tried it on, no, gosh it was hideous by time Dolly Parton thought she too was fashionable. Maybe Asia doesn't sort of take too much note of the west!!
I'd rather not dig out someone else's fashion mistake, or rather I keep my laundry basket clean. It's almost like saying 4B movement was created when 36D dolly Parton killed the feminist movement in motivation,(what's the other Dolly Parton name, Pamela Anderson (it's what call a booster halter in Deutsch) yip, (censor other reasons but i liked Milla jovovich before when she had red hair, should've being black bandages, tight. Then tights with killer boots (no heels on boots) no way that's just so feminist on wedding day, it's beyond)
Ye, but don't like Milla without red hair and awesome voice over language, then it's like Angelina Jolie complaining director went to big, but hey, she did it. Fatal mistake was not being friends with Brad Pitt, seriously if Angelina married Ethan Hawke the children at least not look like common European mongrels.
Na, badie: musnt overhear mygar commentary, it's not gossip queens it's just hard not to notice, darn we ought to just keep quiet, witnessed some really bad sherafes in European history but this on. You mean when her one sided strap shirt slipped down, my gosh giovanni is so funny - moral of story is pick da dress dat suit da girl! Ye. Awesome move, JOAN... And make it bright yellow, no gosh that's more kitsch than pink too-toe
You rambling on, point vas das made.
Dresses on other wedding thread nice, cut-it now.
People start thinking I'm schitso, that there's 5 urchins living in she'll colony.... But they all have autism and know about the other personalities, so hence makocoo, timzy, namwhat and few others that unpronounceable.
Timzy said once pick a dress, we all hope you have bestest ever wedding, congrats!! !

My childhood friend who herself is married and would have gone through the dress-selection process gave me advice:

Before I actually start trying on wedding dresses I should research different photos on the Internet or in magazines in order to find my preferred style and make the process MUCH easier!! !

Without first knowing what style I like how would I be able to successfully choose my wedding dress?!?

Now I just gotta figure out how to do all of this inconspiculously (without my brother finding out)...