Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Have you been in a romantic relationship with another Aspie?

Page 2 of 3 [ 44 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,170
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

11 Nov 2024, 10:36 pm

^I don't think you can have one without the other...



MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,923
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

12 Nov 2024, 10:45 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
^I don't think you can have one without the other...

Apparently there are people on the asexuality spectrum who are looking for soul mates but don't want physical intimacy with them. A lot of ASD women would seem to be in this situation.


_________________
My WP story


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,105
Location: Adelaide, Australia

13 Nov 2024, 7:26 pm

No and I'm not sure that I want to be in one. Aspies make great friends but crappy partners. I know because I'm an aspie and I'm a crappy partner.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Age: 115
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 17,820
Location: The line in the sand

13 Nov 2024, 7:44 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
No and I'm not sure that I want to be in one. Aspies make great friends but crappy partners. I know because I'm an aspie and I'm a crappy partner.


Are you actually a crappy partner, or might this be a self-esteem issue? :chin:



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,105
Location: Adelaide, Australia

13 Nov 2024, 8:15 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
No and I'm not sure that I want to be in one. Aspies make great friends but crappy partners. I know because I'm an aspie and I'm a crappy partner.


Are you actually a crappy partner, or might this be a self-esteem issue? :chin:


I'm a terrible partner, according to my partner. But maybe I should take her views with a grain of salt.

(also I have pretty low self-esteem)


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Elwyn
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2024
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 145

15 Nov 2024, 1:05 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
No and I'm not sure that I want to be in one. Aspies make great friends but crappy partners. I know because I'm an aspie and I'm a crappy partner.



I feel like I am a difficult partner. Lots of miscommunication and sensitivities that send me into meltdowns, which is not fun for anyone.



Elwyn
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2024
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 145

15 Nov 2024, 1:06 am

Rhapsody wrote:
So, nobody I've been in a romantic relationship with was diagnosed autistic or ADHD, but I had my suspicions and so did they. In my case the communication issues were compounded. I was bad at communicating. They were bad at communicating. We bad communicated ourselves into breakups. :skull:

I've never dated anybody who was NT to compare so I have no way of knowing if I'd prefer them, but it's entirely possible I'd just bad communicate myself into another breakup. Since I'm the common denominator.


Aw, that's what I was wondering... if the communication issues could be compounded.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,197
Location: California, United States

17 Nov 2024, 1:48 pm

i would only be open to one just as long as she is either not asexual or just doesn't have issues/problems with sex/intimacy.



Conspiracy
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2022
Gender: Female
Posts: 47
Location: Wales

19 Nov 2024, 8:50 am

Yeah, a 10 year relationship and it wasn’t good lol it lasted way longer than it ever should have too.



Velorum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2020
Age: 65
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 1,361
Location: UK

19 Nov 2024, 1:06 pm

Im married to an AuADHD person.

Our profiles are way different but we understand each other well and it works just fine.

Its the first time Ive been in a relationship where there are no issues or conflicts about personal space, jealousy or emotional blackmail and manipulation.

For us, it works.


_________________
Diagnosed: ASD, hEDS, MCAS, ARFID
Retired specialist neurodevelopmental clinician
Member of Autistic & LGBTQ+ communities in South West UK
Trustee at Cornwall Pride charity & Coordinator at Kernow Neurodivergent Artists network


WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,197
Location: California, United States

19 Nov 2024, 4:50 pm

yeah, due to lack of intimacy, i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF, i will never understand why someone will agree to have some sort of relationship with someone, go on dates with them, hang out with them, cuddle and kiss them, but not want to do anything below the pants, i will never understand that.



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 30,464
Location: Right over your left shoulder

19 Nov 2024, 5:06 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, due to lack of intimacy, i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF, i will never understand why someone will agree to have some sort of relationship with someone, go on dates with them, hang out with them, cuddle and kiss them, but not want to do anything below the pants, i will never understand that.


So, you seem to be admitting that there was intimacy, just not of the type you were hoping for.


_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
You can't advance to the next level without stomping on a few Koopas.


Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,170
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

19 Nov 2024, 6:12 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, due to lack of intimacy, i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF, i will never understand why someone will agree to have some sort of relationship with someone, go on dates with them, hang out with them, cuddle and kiss them, but not want to do anything below the pants, i will never understand that.


Maybe they just aren't ready for the next step?

Some people on the spectrum (and even neuro-typicals!! !) are not comfortable with full-on sex and intimacy so they need to be eased into it VERY VERY VERY ***slowly***...



MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,923
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

19 Nov 2024, 10:04 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Maybe they just aren't ready for the next step?

Some people on the spectrum (and even neuro-typicals!! !) are not comfortable with full-on sex and intimacy so they need to be eased into it VERY VERY VERY ***slowly***...

It happens I've never had that experience with anyone of any neurotype. Not that you're wrong, I just haven't experienced it personally. I've only gotten "pushback" from people who weren't that interested in me, or had lost interest.


_________________
My WP story


Benjamin the Donkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2017
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,390

20 Nov 2024, 10:34 am

No, but my partner of 5 years is ADHD, so there's a bit of overlap.


_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."


WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,197
Location: California, United States

20 Nov 2024, 5:30 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
yeah, due to lack of intimacy, i refuse to call my last partner an ex-GF, i will never understand why someone will agree to have some sort of relationship with someone, go on dates with them, hang out with them, cuddle and kiss them, but not want to do anything below the pants, i will never understand that.


So, you seem to be admitting that there was intimacy, just not of the type you were hoping for.


That doesn't count as intimacy to me