Need advice on making a move..

Page 2 of 2 [ 24 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

LePetitPrince
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,464

21 Oct 2007, 3:58 pm

Don't wait! This was a very obvious sign of interest in my opinion ...try to see her at school and try to have conversations with her and see if she's interested in talking with u , if yes then ask her out but don't wait too long .



ThePhantomN
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 67

21 Oct 2007, 5:49 pm

Looking through the replies and such, I think that whoever said not to discuss these kinds of things is right. If you ask her if there was something going on between you two, it will be sort of awkward. She would much rather prefer that you make a move. The strategy I mentioned above should work fine in your situation, so long as your timing is good (and by that I mean the kissing part, if you look into her eyes and even the smallest part of you says "kiss her!", then DO IT immediately)



hospital-food
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 5

21 Oct 2007, 6:26 pm

AdrianB wrote:
At a certain moment, we held hands and i caressed her hand a bit which she did back a few times.


thats a relationship in my book, get ready for the inevitable breakup



ThePhantomN
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 67

21 Oct 2007, 9:53 pm

hospital-food wrote:
AdrianB wrote:
At a certain moment, we held hands and i caressed her hand a bit which she did back a few times.


thats a relationship in my book, get ready for the inevitable breakup


Thats not a relationship. That's some physical contact that communicates that she would like a relationship. It has the potential to become a relationship, but a relationship is much more than just some physical contact. And wow, be a little less pessimistic, not every breakup is really bad.



AdrianB
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 291

23 Oct 2007, 9:37 am

Heh.
That girl is f*****g weird.

I was practicly 98% sure about a social/girl-related situation for the first time in my life.

Mind you, that -holding hands- s**t in the cinema wasn't the only signal.
She asked me to walk her home, just the two of us, twice but i couldn't at that time. (Had to wait for friends)
She, almost constantly, sought contact with me and so on.

A friend of hers told her that I had a crush on her (which i didn't/don't, I was just interested) and she started being very distant to me (starting from about Wednesday).
She actually wasn't interested in me in that way and didn't want a relationship so she backed out of the whole thing to not give me any hope. (By trying to 'ignore' me a bit.)
Her reasons were that she didn't want a relationship with a friend or with somebody from school.
She also didn't want to engage in a relationship in the first place.
(She said this to a mutual friend.)


I'm f*****g confused right now..
What the f**k were all those signals about then?
Did i really misunderstood them? (I'm telling you, i was never so sure of anything related to love, girls or people, i asked a friend of mine and he thought the same, you guys did too)
Did i do something wrong?
..


This is the third time a girl screwed me over.
I'm trying really hard to not become bitter and grow a hatred for girls but every girl who gave me clear 'I like you -a lot-' signals has screwed me over.
What the f**k is up with this?
Is it me?
Do i know the wrong girls?
Will i ever find a normal/right girl?


@ThePhantomN
You've made a seriously good post.
I'd consider putting it in a sticky labeled 'how to make a move' or something.
I know i can attract a girl, just like everyone should know that. (Seriously, there exists a girl/guy for everyone)
Thanks for all the help!



LePetitPrince
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,464

23 Oct 2007, 3:48 pm

^^ oh =) ...welcome to the NT girls' mind games ....if God exists even him would get lost by such games . =)



ThePhantomN
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 67

23 Oct 2007, 5:07 pm

AdrianB wrote:
Heh.
That girl is f***ing weird.

I was practicly 98% sure about a social/girl-related situation for the first time in my life.

Mind you, that -holding hands- sh** in the cinema wasn't the only signal.
She asked me to walk her home, just the two of us, twice but i couldn't at that time. (Had to wait for friends)
She, almost constantly, sought contact with me and so on.

A friend of hers told her that I had a crush on her (which i didn't/don't, I was just interested) and she started being very distant to me (starting from about Wednesday).
She actually wasn't interested in me in that way and didn't want a relationship so she backed out of the whole thing to not give me any hope. (By trying to 'ignore' me a bit.)
Her reasons were that she didn't want a relationship with a friend or with somebody from school.
She also didn't want to engage in a relationship in the first place.
(She said this to a mutual friend.)


I'm f***ing confused right now..
What the f**k were all those signals about then?
Did i really misunderstood them? (I'm telling you, i was never so sure of anything related to love, girls or people, i asked a friend of mine and he thought the same, you guys did too)
Did i do something wrong?
..


This is the third time a girl screwed me over.
I'm trying really hard to not become bitter and grow a hatred for girls but every girl who gave me clear 'I like you -a lot-' signals has screwed me over.
What the f**k is up with this?
Is it me?
Do i know the wrong girls?
Will i ever find a normal/right girl?


@ThePhantomN
You've made a seriously good post.
I'd consider putting it in a sticky labeled 'how to make a move' or something.
I know i can attract a girl, just like everyone should know that. (Seriously, there exists a girl/guy for everyone)
Thanks for all the help!


First off, its her fault. She telegraphed interest, major interest. Like not just unconsciously, but through conscious actions. if she didnt want you, she shouldnt have given you so many signs.

Here's what I think may have happened. She wanted you, but she was hurt when you said you had to wait for your friends. Note that you made the right choice here: you put bro's before hoe's and didnt just leave your friends behind, leaving them for her would have made you look needy, but your choice made it clear that you value your friends. Now one thing you could've done was to say "I can't walk home with you today, but how about thursday?" If she said yes you could've then told your friends in advance that you werent going to be able to walk home on thursday, and to go on without you (making this clear in advance s different than just leaving them when the girl asks). Just a note for the future. :)

To be honest, I recently tried to ask out a girl who I thought liked me, and she turned me down. Not directly though, I asked her twice and both times she claimed to be busy that particular weekend. Since I tried asking her out, she's become more distant from me. It happens to everyone, the thing is, I now know to move on to a different girl, and learn from my mistakes.

If it was me, I would've interpreted those signs as interest too. You made valid judgments, she was just being weird. One thing to try in the future, if you think a girl likes you, ask her to a movie or something within a week, so she doesnt wait too long and lose the initial interest. Waiting too long is a mistake I've made numerous times, the faster you ask her out the better.

Oh, and thanks for the comment, I might make a post to go with my one on "how to tell if a girl is interested in you". I'm thinking of making a handful of these sort of posts, because I know they'll help people who used to be where I was about two years ago (unable to start a relationship, and without any knowledge of how to woo a woman)

But yeah just know that you interpreted the signs correctly. I'm sure you'll get a girl eventually, just work on making the move soon after she shows enough interest.



AdrianB
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 291

24 Oct 2007, 3:02 pm

And now she's showing interest in me again. 8O
I wasn't feeling well Monday and she was asking what was wrong and so on.
I stayed home sick the past days and she texts me to check whether I'm fine and if I'm going to school tomorrow, she talks to me immediately when she logs onto MSN...

This may seem normal for a friend but when i compare it to my other friends or her behavior last week it's a LOT different.
(She practically ignored me, didn't talk to me on MSN, never 'texted' me...)

I don't know anymore, am i just seeing things that aren't there because i want her to like me or is this, what I'm experiencing, all true.
I'm just going to wait out, don't hope and see what happens.