Ladies First

Post Reply New Topic

Why is it that you have to give up your seat for a perfectly healthy, strong, fit, young woman. just as healthy as a man.
I give up my seat for:

Elderly people
Pregnant women
Injured person
Handicap Person (blind, and so on)
Someone who has extra baggage or a plate of food.

I give up my seat to no one else. I was at a club in spain and my teacher tried to act like i had no manners, i was sitting in a seat and she said, when one of the girls are ready to sit down, yopu better give up your seat. I was disguted with her. those girls are just as healthy and young as I am, an its their fault for dancing. and none of them were falling out on the floor or having seizures. I planned on doing it anyways not to cause problems.
I hold the door for women and help them with heavy things, and I also wait for them to get their food b4 I start eating at a restaurant. Nothing else. its rediculous how society is. I mean, why should a perfectly healthy person, who breathes, walks, bleeds, and talks just like me, have my seat that i got first. its silly.....
read this story that happened a couple days ago in spain..

my teacher is a grown woman putting her hands on me. she pushed me because there was a spaniard woman standing on the side of the line, who shouldve have went to the back, but she kept standing there. the teacher let 2 people in front of me go, then when it was time for me to go i started walking and she yanked my arm hard and pulled me back and said "daja la mujer ir" which means let the lady go, thats close to what she said. and then when the lady went, she pushed me with all her might so that i could go. she's a b***h. i was mad. and another teacher saw what happened and asked me why the teacher pushed me so hard.

this woman is rediculous. the lady should have been in the back, or asked if she could go. its not worth me, getting physically harrassed because im being fair to myself and about the situation. and I also didnt see the woman there, because she shouldve been in line. its so stupid.

its like Micheal Jordan giving up his seat to scottie pippen when they both did nothing but stand by the chair for two minutes. its silly. the two men are both perfectly healthy, fit, and the same age.

its silly. sometimes i wish i didnt live in this world. but theres nothing I can do.

If i live by my standards all I can do is do what i do. all people can do is look and form their own opinions, all they can do is think I'm an ass if i do what I do. What my teacher did to me (yandk me) doesnt happen in the real world with real people. People may rarely say stuff about it, but theuyll mind their own business most of the time. no one will physically harrass me, because I broke a double standard. No one can do anything, unless its the law to do so. Most places its not the law to live up to double standards its just expected.

It's like life is a play. Men let the ladies go first, and ladies go. Just because someone has a V@@@@a doesnt make them any better than someone else and vice versa. Just because someone is black, doesnt mean that he or she is allowed to say something racist, and not get in trouble. Black comedians say racist stuff all the time, but never get in trouble, but when don imus says saomething racist, he gets the right reaction. its silly. double standards are silly. The only thing im really for is not to hit little kids back if they hit you.

so basically here are the common double standards

-women should have more courtesy than men in society
-minorities have the right to say racist things
-if you are white, its a bad thing to be proud of your race
-if you are black and have a meltdown, you are an angry black man
-If you are a guy and you are fair, you are an as*hole, but if you treat women with respect otherwise then you are too nice.
you do the right thing by ignoring women and being an ass to them, but if you dont give up your seat for a perfectly healthy one, you are an ass.
-if you are a man you get paid more because you have to support a family, but so many men are asses that they run off and leave a handful of kids to the women who doesnt get as paid nearly as him because he has a family to support.
-women are good for sex and mothering, but not good for making decisons and holding poilitical positions.

From a female point of view, I find it strange that a man would feel inclined to give up his seat for me, and especially if he's quite a bit older than I am. I'm just as healthy as he is, and my legs are probably stronger, because they're probably almost twice as large. I'm 34, not 84. If the man was sitting there first, he should keep his seat.

Please remember those old signs of courtesy was from when women wore horrendous corsets for foundation garments. Standing up and sitting was really a problem. Also the man walked on the outside because the horse feces and mud was right there in the gutter and the woman's full skirts would be (somewhat) protected.


matter of fact, list all those old accomodations of chilvalry and let's discover the reasons they were devised as social courtesy in the first place!

Merle

The principal flaw in your argument is the assumption that men and women operate with equal capacity and have equal experience of challenges facing them at a given task.

We're taught that, as human beings, we are in some sense equal, and for the most part this is true on principle, but there are differences you must keep in mind in being considerate of others.

For example, many women experience hormone fluctuations during the month which can cause all kinds of discomfort that men don't experience. They get headaches, fluctuations in energy levels, feel sick, feel moody, and in such a state it isn't fair to expect them to carry a 40 lb. package for a mile at a running pace, so do the gentlemanly thing and do it for her if she asks. These are empathy-related things that one can come to understand if someone bothers to explain them to you. Otherwise, we have no way of knowing. It's reasonable, though, to not make special accommodation to strangers who show no obvious need, but you should strongly consider it if they ask.

I don't know, I guess it's a cultural thing....

What's funny is I often find myself opening doors for guys and girls or letting someone who looks like they're carrying a lot of stuff or not feeling well have my seat.

Well the thing about Pregnant women is this, my wife said that in the first trimester a woman is oftein having the worst time with the changes in her hormones. So at that time she will most need to have your seat.

I think it would not be a good idea to ask random women of reproductive age if they are pregnant, so it is best to just assume that they might be and then just let them have your seat on the train, bus or tram. This means that combined with old women and nuns you should give up your seat for all ladies.

I would feel very bad about sitting down while a nun or old lady was having to stand.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

I can see why a pregnant woman would need to sit because it bet dangerous if they were standing on a moving train or bus because what if the driver puts on the breaks all of a sudden, the pregnant woman can fall and hurt the baby. But I don't see why they need to sit when they are in a building. I mean they can walk without a problem so they should be able to stand without a problem.

I don't see why a blind person needs to sit. Can they hang onto the bar when the train or bus is moving?
I can see why a Down's syndrome person would need to sit, their muscles aren't as good as ours and their coordination is bad. Same as people who have dyspraxia. But my bf has poor coordination but he doesn't expect anyone to give up their seat for him and he also has bad feet. I guess he is like me, we both don't want to be catered and we want to do things the same way as everyone else so we'd rather torture ourselves because everyone else has to too. His coordination issues must not be that bad then.

I honestly agree with the OP.

On the bus I'll give up my seat if asked and I deign the reason to be fair. Old people, pregnant etc etc.

Otherwise...not a chance in hell.

When people say I have no manners, I ignore them.

Sure, I'll open the door for a woman and I expect the same courtesy in turn. Don't often get it.

For me...it's not sexist like that though. I'll hold the door open for a guy or girl...I'm going in too so I may as well take the moral high ground and prove my superiority.

*Shrugs*

Regards
GM

Whenever anyone offers me a seat or opens a door for me, I always make sure to say thankyou. It's also an act of kindness I don't normally take for granted by strangers since most people are usually rude.

That's ashame Toad.

I agree about the automatic "Ladies first" rule; I think it's stupid because it's outdated.

If the lady looked unwell (a.k.a. hormonal changes), was pregnant, or was old, or had kids with her - that's a different scenario.

In the same instance, if I was sitting and a man who looked unwell was standing, I would offer him my seat.