How do you behave/react when you have a 'crush'?

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I came across this online test, which determines how likely it is that you have Asperger's, and one of the questions that was asked was 'when you like someone, do you become obsessive and can't let them go?'. I never knew that this was a trait of Asperger's, but it certainly rings true to me. When I'm interested in a guy, I become obsessive and shamefully almost stalkerish in my behaviour. It's almost like they are my 'special interest', which I need to know everything about.


What are your experiences with 'crushing'?

the same. Obsessive. Worshipful. Love Slave for hire. Ridiculous. Ack.

also, I agree about them becoming a special interest and you have to know everything about them. That is true for me too. I am glad this is a trait of aspie because at least within certain parameters I am not a freak.

Limerence (having a crush) refers to an involuntary cognitive and emotional state of intense romantic desire for another person. ... read all about it from a scientific point of view

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

Yeah, I definitely get like that. Recently, I've started having crush on this girl at school, and I haven't stopped thinking about her since I last saw her.

Oh God, how hideously embarassing! I remember being pathetically eager to please. I've learned to play it cooler now, but man am I glad I am married. I don't know how I would handle the dating scene again.

Guilty. *raises hand*

I traditionally have crushes that are all consuming and intense and last for years. Just getting past one that's lasted 15 years. They generally never have a clue because I'm so fearful of revealing myself. I say getting over because sometimes I can go for days without thinking about it. I have always been this way and yes, it's embarrassing. I'm going to look up limerence.

Well, my commited limerance is quite different from mere infatuation.

In early infatuation, I might simply pay more attention and make choices.
If I lack interaction with the person in question, I might try to establish eyecontact or find an excuse for minor verbal interaction. If I already regularly socialise with the person in question, I am more likely to state my interest and/or make an offer.

If my interest is approved and accomodated, I will grow more obsessive and servile. Not a slave, but a servant; eager to please and to learn that person's interests to a basic degree. I may eventually come to obsess over my own usefulness and entertainment value.

everything everyone just said is so me it's scary. It is so weird how the label of my diagnosis can be used to properly predict how I''m going to act in any given situation. I didn't realize *this* was a manifestation of Asperger's too.

I've had plenty of secret pathetic crushes. Every time there's a girl I like, I obsess over her all the time, think about being with her and practically love her. I think about them more times then I should; even though 90% of the time, I have no chance with them because they always have a boyfriend. How I actually interact around them differs. There's been some girls I've really liked that I rarely talked to because I was too nervous around them and then there are others where I'm almost friends with them. It really depends on how they react to me.

Okay, so why didn't any of you have crushes on me? Seriously, I've had two to approximately 2 1/2 Aspie guys have crushes on me (don't ask about the 1/2 guy - it's too weird to explain), and not only were they not obsessed with me, not eager to please me, completely not servile - they couldn't dump me fast enough. WTF? I would have settled for sweet.

^Probably because most of us are too chicken to reveal our crushes. I'm sure you have more 'followers' than you know. Sometimes i wonder how many opportunities were lost, because of that. I've had crushes on many girls, and i'm sure that some of them would've been compatible if i had been a man and told them about it. After all, I usually don't crush on people that I think I have 'zero' chance with.

^And what have we learned from those missed opportunities, Mister? Life is short - take a shot. I actually made "the first move" with the last guy I was involved with. It didn't end well, but it worked out for a while (well enough that I still tend to miss what it felt like when it did work between us). Even with the tears and the heartbreak, I don't regret taking the risk and putting myself out there. What if he'd been the one? I would have never known if I hadn't mustered the nerve to tell him how I felt, right?