Falling in love makes me feel pathetic

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Ok love may be to strong a word for this. But when I fall for someone I feel pathetic. I feel vulnerable and I don't like someone to make me feel that way. I usually suspect that this person has no interest in me and that is what makes it pathetic, a like of this person who doesn't like me the same way. It isn't a good feeling. It destroys me and makes me depressed. then it just feels that love is an unreachable fantasy and I begin to feel that I don't believe in love and I've been thinking about this because I am going to a wedding on Saturday and wonder if they are just poor deluded souls who will start to hate each other after having to live with each other for so many years.

Anyone have similar experiences?

Does anyone have something positive to add?

That's happened to me for years. I've always longed for girls that I have no chance with and hope to someday get a chance to be with but I know it won't happen. How I deal with this stuff is simple, I eventually move on to someone else when I meet someone who's better. The only thing is it's the same charade as before, just a different girl. The thing is somethings have changed. One is I've had strong feelings for some girls I actually do talk to and interact with, unlike years ago where I didn't even know them. The thing that always seems to happen to me is some of the girls do like me but as a friend at best and they always say, "you will find someone", which is bull because it would just be easier if they just referred to themselves but no..... For me, I feel the best when I don't have to interact with any girls at all. The girls who are nice to me are the one's I grow to like because somehow, kindness always appeals to me.

Homer_bob I think I know what you mean. I go for guys that are nice to me, but I'm never sure whether they like me because they are just nice to everyone. I'm never sure whether they think I am special or are just being their usual nice self.

I used to make more of an effort, but I realised that my efforts were inappropriately over the top. I can't think of any examples. So I tried to be more subdued, but that makes me invisible. I just can't win. I guess when I find the right person to click with, it will work.

Falling for someone worries me because I think about how I ought to be acting and wonder whether I am acting in a way they expect me to. Does he like me and he thinks I don't like him? Am I being too obvious and he doesn't want the attention? Would he like more attention but I am not giving it? It's just a mine field for me and I can't seem to learn what I'm meant to do.

I'm glad someone feels the same. I had my first crush when I was 17 (I hate these little kids who prance around in 'relationships' and having crushes on everyone), but it didn't work out. I have a horrible feeling I have another now I've come to university and am trying to resist any feelings there may be and just be friends.
I wish I could help, but I'm in the same situation as you.

I totally understand what you mean! I've gone through that process so many times. Currently, I do not believe love will ever happen for me. I've given up and realized I don't want to share my bank account with anyone anyways. It's just not cut out for everyone. It does make you feel pathetic and out of control. I have control issues so that's why I don't like the feeling. It makes me really anxious to not have control over my own feelings.

for me limerence is at first an wonderful thing.makes me feel like a human with feelings and emotions and some standards .but then it goes out of control.as i know it never works.and i am afraid of love.even if i am given a chance.so never tried to work on it.removing me from the ground makes it even irresistible thing.then it goes outta control.i lose my way.really pathetic.i end up being all messed up.

Most definitely.

I too have the unfortunate habit of falling for completely unobtainable women, which has just got to the point of being annoying now. If you put me in a room full of 1000 women, only one of whom was a lesbian, chances are good that I'd try to chat up the lesbian. It's like I can smell the bitter scent of rejection and it's become like a drug to me.

Hence the reason why I tend to stay on the wagon most of the time now

Probably one of the worst feelings we've had the misfortune to experience. Control over our emotions is something that comes difficult to us and it took a while for me to learn to hide my feelings from the world. Of course, the downside to this is that I usually appear cold and distant which is heavy price to pay for I assume, usually rightly, that people I am interested in are not interested in me. Such is life.

It's possible, Catherine II of Russia's done it!

Drama, love is just acting, theater.

What people want (and do) is boss around other people, spend spend and have NSA sex!

[ Cynical ]